Zhuang Di Xiaomeng / Seeing the essence through the story
An original emotion number that deserves your attention
Illustration/from the web
A man who can't find a girlfriend for a long time must have his own reasons.
There are thousands of girls in the world, and everyone else can marry and have children, so why can't he?
It follows that this is not a woman's problem, but his own.
Co-worker Pony has been on blind dates 98 times, but each time has ended in failure, and at first he is complaining and even resenting the female group.
Fortunately, with the guidance of the elders, he recognized the root causes and tried to change, and now he is also married and has children and lives a happy life.
Just as all things have causes and effects, everything follows the cycle of cause and effect, and what kind of life you live now depends entirely on what kind of causes you have planted.
This principle is suitable for various occasions, including finding a girlfriend.
Men can't find the main source of girlfriends
1, the material conditions are less than 70% of men
Many men claim that they can't find a girlfriend because they are too poor, and the implication is that all this is because contemporary women are too realistic.
At first glance, it sounds very reasonable, but it does not stand up to careful scrutiny, because in real life, the majority of people who are actually married, and the rest are only a very small minority.
The same conditions can be married to others, but they can not marry, so it can be seen that the realistic statement of women is not at all tenable.
Unless their conditions are not generally poor, but worse than most men, in other words, they are at best barely able to support themselves.
A man who does not have the ability to support his family is naturally unable to marry a wife, not the reality of women, but they are too naïve.
After marriage, women want to get pregnant and have children naturally have no way to make money as before, at this time all the economic pressure will fall on the shoulders of men, men can not support a family, in the end will only suffer themselves and their wives and children.
From the point of view of material conditions, men with less than 70% economic ability should not get married, because this is an act that harms others and harms themselves.
2, emotional intelligence is too low, can not speak
Obviously, I have the opportunity to get off the list, and the conditions for each other are also very suitable, but because I can't talk, I annoy the girls, so I lose a lot of opportunities.
This should be something that many men have experienced, everyone calls this type of man a straight man, and it is indeed a relatively difficult thing for a straight man to get off the list.
People get along with each other by communication, if communication is not good, there will be no next story.
Men with high emotional intelligence can have an advantage in speech even if the conditions are slightly worse, and men with low emotional intelligence are difficult to please girls even if the conditions are good.
3, not active
If you are not rich and handsome, then taking the initiative is the best strategy for you to get off the list.
There is a story on the initiative, and the girl is chased.
From ancient times to the present, this is the law of iron can not be moved, if you are just an ordinary man, but do not want to take the initiative, fantasy that girls automatically find you, then you will never be able to get off the list.
4. The circle is narrow
Although someone helps introduce the object, most of them are not suitable, or no one helps you introduce the object, all because the circle is too narrow.
If a person wants to get off the order, first of all, there must be resources, and the more resources there are, the higher the chance of getting off the list.
The so-called resources actually need to be built on a huge circle.
5. Brutality
Some men are very angry, and they attack women because they can't find their other half, which is very common in the Network.
Remember, no one is masochistic, and no one likes someone who attacks themselves all day.
Men attacking women undoubtedly pushes themselves into the abyss of singleness.
This way you will only make women more disgusted, and your index of off-order will plummet.
How do I address the root cause?
First, about the material conditions
The material conditions are too poor, and we must find ways to improve, rather than remain static.
Only when the material conditions have changed will you be eligible to enter the marriage hall.
1. Evaluate the current industry and work
Why are you mixing so badly? It's a very serious question, and you have to reflect on whether the industry and job you are currently in is really the right one for you.
Different personalities are suitable for different industries, doing things that are not suitable, and the success rate is naturally very low.
If you find out that you're in the wrong line, it's too late to change.
If you find that your current unit does not have any future, then job hopping will be the best option.
2. Constantly improve yourself
No matter what industry you are in, professional ability is very important, and the most fundamental reason for your poor material foundation is that you are not capable enough.
Since you are not capable enough, you should take the initiative to improve, spend a little more time investing in yourself, and after a few years you will see your own changes.
Second, about emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence is a bridge between people, people with high emotional intelligence can build a solid bridge, and people with low emotional intelligence often build a single wooden bridge, which is not only dangerous but also easy to collapse.
It can be seen that emotional intelligence is extremely important to everyone.
1. Have more contact with people with high emotional intelligence
Confucius once said, "If you do three people, you will have my teacher." ”
In real life, you can meet many teachers.
If your emotional intelligence is too poor, you should interact with those who have high emotional intelligence, learn their strengths and style of doing things, and slowly, you will have obvious changes.
2. Study more related books
There are a lot of books on the market about emotional intelligence and so on, and you can also go and buy them and read them, but it is best to have experienced people give them recommendations accordingly.
Books can bring you infinite wisdom and can also bring changes to your life.
Third, about the initiative
You must be proactive, otherwise you will not be able to get rid of the order.
In the matter of finding a girlfriend, the competitiveness between men and men is already fierce, not taking the initiative is equivalent to automatically giving up, and in the end you can only end up with a lonely ending.
1. The initiative to find a girlfriend
If you find that there is no suitable single opposite sex around you, you must know how to borrow power.
In other words, networking and letting others introduce you is the best way to get off the list.
Don't be embarrassed, whether it's a relative or a friend, just let them introduce you, as long as you are proactive enough to have someone to help.
2, about the initiative of chasing girls
When you meet the girl you like, don't hold it, you must be bold to pursue.
Only if you take the initiative, you can have a story.
Fourth, about the circle
The circle is too narrow to change, and this change has a skill.
1. String together your friends
Make more friends and slowly you will find that your circle of life is getting bigger.
There are a limited number of people a person knows, but if they know how to mobilize the power of the people around them, the results will be very different.
2. Participate in more social activities
Now there are a lot of social activities, such as mountain climbing, traveling, various hobbies.
There you can meet more people and get more opportunities to take off orders.
Fifth, about violence
Put away your anger, and your actions will only push yourself into the abyss of despair.
Since ancient times, wives have been begging and begging, and they are definitely not scolded.
Your online swearing and grinning doesn't do anything to you, but it makes many women resent your part of the men.
If you can't find a girlfriend, find reasons in yourself and face girls with the most gentle attitude, otherwise you will never be able to get rid of the list.
Original author of the Zhuang Di Xiaomeng/Emotional Column
May your life be full of surprises, and may your happiness come as scheduled.