Recently, I saw a video on Douyin that had tens of thousands of comments.
In the video, a 55-year-old mother wants to have a second child and asks the doctor to treat herself. The doctor asked the mother why she still had children at this age, and the mother said that there was only one daughter in the family and no sons, so she wanted to have a son to leave a queen for her husband's family.
Who will raise the child?
The eldest mother said that her daughter married well, the family has money, and she can let her daughter and son-in-law raise her. He also said that he had seen the news that his daughter did not raise a younger brother and could sue her.
He even told the doctor not to be nosy, just to treat the disease.
For this matter, netizens have expressed their speechlessness. I think that the mother is a lot older, and she still wants to have a second child, and when she has a child, she still wants her daughter and son-in-law to raise it, which is really a strange idea.
In fact, this is not the first time this has happened.
1
Previously, a girl in Chengdu had the same problem.
The girl's mother, who is in her 50s, wanted to have a second child, but was rejected by her daughter, resulting in a violent argument between mother and daughter.
The mother feels that it is good for her daughter to have a second child, and that in the future, there will be someone to discuss, and what will happen can also support her daughter.
And the daughter disagreed.
She said:
"Why don't you have a baby early?" Wait until now? You're in your 50s, my dad is in his 60s, which one has the conditions to raise? Which one do you say? ”
Her meaning could not be clearer, parents are older, it is easy to have children and it is difficult to raise children.
The burden of caring for the child after the birth of the child will definitely fall on her, and she does not want to suffer this sin.
And when my father heard it, he couldn't help but exclaim: "You shouldn't give me a share?" ”
The daughter said: "I share, you brought me up, you will take care of the problem of pension in the future, but it is impossible for me to raise a second child for you." ”
The mother could not help but be furious when she heard her daughter's response, angrily denouncing the only child as too selfish.
The girl calculated a financial account for her parents:
"Now it takes a lot of money to cultivate a doll, it takes money to eat and drink Lasa, if you have a boy, you have to get married and buy a house, so it is impossible for me to bear these costs!"
I will get married and have children in the future, I will still engage in his head, I am not a brother demon, I do not have this ability! ”
Since the opening of the two-child policy, many parents have been rubbing their fists, hoping to try again on the basis of the boss and realize the dream of "children and daughters".
However, not all families have the conditions to have a second child.
2
Some time ago, a sixty-year-old couple was a living case.
The elderly couple responded to the family planning policy when they were young and had only one daughter.
Later, the daughter successfully graduated from college and started a family, had her own children, and also had the ability to provide for her parents, so it can be said that the family's life was originally very good.
But after the old couple retired, after hearing that no son was equivalent to extinction, they spent a lot of money on IVF and gave birth to a boy.
The most excessive thing is that the couple is sure that the daughter must be willing to raise a younger brother, so when the child is 1 year old, the old couple let the daughter know the existence of the second child brother.
Relying on the daughter's monthly living expenses and her own pension, the two couples were able to support them at the beginning.
But after three or four years, everything changed. Both husband and wife are in their sixties, especially the husband's legs and feet are not good, and they still have to take a small one is really weak.
One day, the 60-year-old mother directly knelt down to beg her daughter to help raise her second brother, and when she saw that her daughter did not agree, her mother complained: "Please take your brother with you!" Don't you recognize your brother?
But the daughter resolutely refused:
"You didn't tell me when you were born, but now that you're going to raise them, throw them at me." I have children myself, and I have to work to earn money for you and for my own little family, where is the time to help you with the children? ”
When the old mother heard this, she also regretted that she had given birth to a second child, but there was no way, and the cause she planted herself had to bear the result herself.
Nowadays, with the opening up of the two-child and three-child policies, the age difference between children is also increasing.
Some parents, after the eldest has reached adulthood, still disregard the risk of giving birth at an advanced age to have a second child and fight for a son. Although this is his own freedom, it is a bit excessive to "be born without raising" and completely transfer the responsibility that should belong to him to his daughter!
3
Last year, a news story titled "22-year-old sister refused to adopt her 2-year-old brother sued by her parents" was on the hot search.
It is about a couple living on a low income, the husband is 48 years old, the wife is 46 years old, and the family lives on the husband's odd jobs.
Not having a son has always been a pain in the couple's heart. After the opening of the second child, the two sons wanted a son. It turned out to be exactly what they had hoped, and when their daughter was 20 years old, they gave birth to a boy.
But soon after giving birth to their second child, the couple found that they were unable to raise their young son. So he wanted his 22-year-old daughter to raise his 2-year-old brother.
Daughter Li Li strongly objected to this.
It is understood that Li Li herself has just graduated, and she is not rich, because her family is tight, and all the expenses during college are solved by her scholarships and bursaries.
Now that she has a job and an income, she has just raised a little beautiful fantasy about the future, and as a result, her parents have given her such a big pot.
But in the eyes of parents, since they are no longer able to raise their sons, their daughters must take on this obligation for them.
In order to achieve their own goals, the couple directly sued their biological daughter in court. In the end, the court ruled that the parents won the case, and the daughter Lili needed to bear the responsibility of raising her younger brother.
This judgment has also caused a lot of controversy, and there may be no problem from the legal level. However, the practice of "forcibly demanding the support of the children regardless of the feelings of the children, or going to court" almost indirectly ruins the girl's life and her trust in her parents.
It is said that the older generation pays the most attention to family affection, but if the definition of this affection is: I don't have to ask you when I have a baby, but you have to help me raise it, otherwise it is not filial piety.
So what love and tolerance is there between parents and children, between people and people?
4
In the program "Strange Story", Fu Seoul, as a square debater, debated the topic of "Must the consent of the eldest to give birth to a second child?".
Her argument is that the birth of a second child must be approved by the boss.
Among them, Fu Seoul has a paragraph that has aroused the reflection of the majority of netizens.
Only I, the, understand his uneasiness.
He was actually trying to express, "Mom, am I not good enough in your heart?"
Have you ever thought about it, if the boss firmly disagrees, it means that you are not worthy of having a second child.
Behind this determination is that the parents did not give enough. ”
The love of parents is limited, and it is impossible to double the love because of one more child.
It turned out that when he was only the eldest, he could get all the love of his parents, but after giving birth to the second eldest, he did not say that it was halved, but there was always a time when he was not complete.
If the parents are older and let the older brothers and sisters raise younger siblings, it is even more unfair to them.
As the old saying goes, being born without raising is the greatest evil of parents.
Therefore, if the parents are older, have no energy, and have no money, whether they want to have a second child or not should be considered clearly.
Don't be at that time, not only can not give the child a warm and loving home, a suitable growth environment, positive education guidance, but also may cause a family tragedy, ruining the lives of several people or even other innocent people.