At night, I went out to run Didi, pulled a beautiful girl, and after getting into the car, she said: "Brother, run as you like!" "I said girl, we're Didi, not for rent. The girl was arrogant: "Brother, I am not short of money,

At night, I went out to run Didi, pulled a beautiful girl, and after getting into the car, she said: "Brother, run as you like!" "I said girl, we're Didi, not for rent. The girl was arrogant: "Brother, I am not bad for money, just run, just listen to me!" I immediately got angry, pulled the girl along the city wall, and an hour later, I kindly reminded: "Sister, 300!" The girl looked at it and said, "Brother, are you taking a detour?" You pull from the south gate of the city wall to my goose pagoda, how can you have so much money? I was suddenly alert: "Sister, you said to run casually." The girl was not pleased, and said, "If you can prove that I said that, I will marry you!" "I said I couldn't prove it, count me unlucky, I don't want money." The girl was anxious: "Brother, Didi Car recorded the whole process, you check ah, must have said, you check it and you will know!" "I am more and more vigilant, even if I paste 300 upside down, it can't prove, do you say that I did the right thing?"

2. Didi Taxi didn't expect to hit a motorcycle! Look at the time, what car is still in charge, greet and go up. On the way to school, the driver soared all the way to 150, all kinds of rushing lanes, accelerating overtaking! Suddenly, the driver's eldest brother turned to me and said, "Brother, don't you think it's boring for people to live?" I suddenly felt that the driver's big brother was a person with a story: "Big brother, trouble pull over, I want to get out of the car!" ”

3. The brother-in-law visits RT-Mart to buy a pound of beef, and the salesman wraps it up for the brother-in-law and puts it in the price check machine to display the price of 80 yuan. The salesman opened his mouth and said: Charge you 80 yuan. The brother-in-law was furious and went forward to the salesman to theorize: what a broken machine, a pound of beef, so expensive. The salesman is also on fire: there is no problem with the machine, there is a problem with your people. The brother-in-law carefully checked, unconsciously put his hand on the machine, showing 30 yuan of pig's trotters, and the salesman was dumbfounded.

4. Colleagues and his girlfriend have always been happy, and colleagues have always picked up his girlfriend from work. One day it was snowing, and his girlfriend waited for a colleague for an hour. At that time, the colleague was panicked in his heart, and after going to the consequences, he hit and scolded the colleague. Colleague: Don't you have money on you? Why not go back with a car? His girlfriend: Just 20 bucks. Colleague: That's enough! Calling a three-wheeler costs only 10 bucks. His girlfriend: I bought a duck neck for 20 yuan to eat!

5. I just bought a desk bell a few days ago, and I rely on it when I go out. Today I just turned out of the intersection and was hit by a Mercedes. The driver kept apologizing, and I was not injured, but my clothes were torn and my glasses legs were broken. After I asked the Mercedes driver to leave, I called the manager to explain the situation and went home to change clothes. As soon as I got home, I received a call from a colleague: Which hospital are you in, and the manager said that your leg was broken and sent us to see you!

6. My girlfriend's school is next door, and I go to play with her after the military training. Who knew that she thought I was too tanned, afraid that her friends would laugh and be too lazy to accompany me! A man stood lost on the community square, leaning against the bronze statue next to him and looking ahead. My heart could not be calmed for a long time: Am I really that dark? A guy looked at me, looked around at no one, and "snapped" a small advertisement on the door of my head.

7. The abbot knows a rich woman, and every time the rich woman visits the abbot, the abbot urges her to find a boyfriend. There was no way, the rich woman handed the abbot a picture of the star and said, "This is my boyfriend." The abbot grabbed the photo, looked at it carefully for half a minute, frowned and said, "If you don't look for it, why do you want to lie to me with the photos of my youth?" The rich woman gave the abbot a blank look: "I don't understand the style, no wonder you are single." ”

8. The principal was holding a general meeting for all the students in the school, and the principal preached: "Learning a course well should be like chasing a person, and you must persist!" I interrupted him and said, "Then you can chase eight at the same time." "You go out!" I instantly understood why I was a scum of learning, it turned out that I was a single-minded person, and then looked at Xueba with contempt: "The little swordsman who will go to class when I see it!" ”

 #Funny# #搞笑段子 #