When I was a child, I went to my uncle's house and slept with my uncle at night. My aunt was afraid that I was freezing, and as soon as I showed my head, my aunt would stuff me into the quilt. Finally, the aunt was furious: "Little bunny cub! You don't

When I was a child, I went to my uncle's house and slept with my uncle at night. My aunt was afraid that I was freezing, and as soon as I showed my head, my aunt would stuff me into the quilt. Finally, the aunt was furious: "Little bunny cub! Why are you constantly drilling out? Why did you get a cold? I cried and said, "The sweet potatoes I ate in the afternoon stinked to death in the nest!" "My aunt also put her head in the quilt to try it, and when she came out, she vomited...

2 Yesterday, when the hen was holding the nest, the rooster came to the hen and said, "Go, let's go for a walk." The hen said with a panicked face: No, no, no, you don't see that I am now busy at work? The rooster said: But you have laid so many eggs! The hen said meaningfully to the chick: one egg a day, the kitchen knife stands on the side, no eggs are laid in January, see you in the pressure cooker.

3 In the office, Female A: My husband actually hid money behind my back. B: I think that's a good thing! Female A: Good thing? I felt it was an act of betrayal! Female A: What are the benefits? B: The first is to hide private money to cultivate his habit of saving, the second is to store a reserve for us, and the third is to repair his best excuse when he is unhappy...

4 The younger sister only eats vegetarian at school, and when she comes home, she is not afraid of eating, and during the New Year, her weight has gained considerablely. The old mother saw that she wanted to point it out, and was afraid of hurting the self-esteem of the flower girl, so she said gently that you had never heard a sentence calling your daughter intimate... The sister immediately picked up: "Sweet little cotton jacket!" "But if you continue like this, you will soon become a military coat."

5 The sister-in-law took her brother-in-law to go to the marriage examination, and finally found out that the brother-in-law had appendicitis. So, the sister-in-law asked her brother-in-law to do the operation. After going to the operating table, the surgeon took an intern as an assistant. Halfway through the operation, the surgeon was nervous, a cold sweat came out of his head, and then turned the surgical area over. He said to the intern: Look carefully, is it the intestine that is broken, why is it so smelly? The intern was stunned and said with some embarrassment: I, I just let out a fart.

6 The husband is a second-hand car dealer who sold a Land Cruiser and made more than 200,000 yuan. My husband was particularly happy and immediately took me to Sanya for my honeymoon. At the airport, when I went through the security check, my husband walked over with a bottle of green tea. The security officer was furious: Give me back and take a sip of the drink in your hand! The husband unscrewed the cap of the bottle, and Gulp and drank all the green tea, and the security personnel were stunned. Only to see her husband wipe his mouth and shout: Don't you just want a bottle?

7 There is a beautiful female colleague in the company, I chased after me for three months, but she still rejected me, and put down the harsh words: If you pester me in the future, I will tell my sister to go, and you will eat fruit in the future. I asked her, "Who is your sister?" The female colleague said: The female boss of our company is my sister.

I thought about it carefully, since I couldn't take down my female colleague, then I took down her sister, so I made a major decision that day and began to pursue the female boss, and the next day, I would ask the female boss every day for warmth, and everything cared about her, and within a month, the female boss was touched by me and promised to be my girlfriend. Today, the landlady called the female colleague to the office and said: From today on, he is your brother-in-law. When the female colleague heard it, she stomped her feet in anger. Then, I walked out of the office and vaguely heard the landlady say to the female colleague: Don't think about hitting your brother-in-law in the future. Hey hey, it's so deeply hidden in merit and fame.

8 Just at the ramen restaurant, a strange flower said to the waiter: "Come to the bowl of ramen, pull a fine point, put more coriander, put more leaves and less stalks of coriander, slice beef don't cut into pieces, and cook more noodles!" ”

Waiter: "Any other requests?" The man said, "Gone." Waiter: "Okay, 10 pieces in total, thank you!" ”

After giving the money, the waiter shouted at the back kitchen: "A bowl of beef ramen!" Then, then, it was time to greet the other guests.

9 I am the winner of the provincial college entrance examination and the only college student in the village. But because my family was poor and didn't have the money to pay my tuition, the villagers crowdfunded a sum of money for me to study. Some time ago, the school was on summer vacation, and I took the train back to my hometown. The villagers all came to pick me up at the entrance of the village, and I deliberately pretended that I didn't speak my hometown dialect. Grandpa was particularly angry, and a bamboo pole came straight to my ankle. I couldn't help yelling, "Oh, my Loro." Grandpa was overjoyed: You see, he remembered how to say human words.

10 A little boy is separated from his mother in a store. Security guards at the store are helping the boy find his mother.

Security Guard: Why don't you take your mother's hand? Boy: Mom was carrying what she had just bought and couldn't pull me along.

Security Guard: Then why don't you pull on your mother's skirt? Boy: I can't reach it.

11 On this day, as soon as I got off work, my son asked me, "Daddy, do you know anyone from the Beggar Gang?" ”

Me: "I don't know, what's wrong?" ”

"I advise you to get to know a good one and make plans for the future."

I wondered, "What do you mean?" ”

"You can still make money now, my mother will let you kneel on the washboard, when you are old, you can't make money, my mother will not sweep you out of the house?" 」

Me: "..." 

12 Taking a bath in the bathhouse, I ran into my girlfriend and her father in the bathroom! Just out of the bath, her father took out a box of cigarettes and gave them to me. I was embarrassed to say, "Uncle I can't smoke!" Her father said, "Don't pretend to me, I'm not sure who I'm going to give my daughter to." "I listened, thought about it, and took out the box of Chinese from the cabinet!" He said, "Uncle 15 cigarettes I can't get used to, come and smoke mine." ”