I have to say that now that children have more and more money to press the age, the way we deal with the money needs to change.
Today's recommendation to everyone is a practical way to deal with it, parents quickly learn Oh
Author | Lee walnut
The son is 10 years old this year, and his hometown has the habit of celebrating "whole ten", so he has nearly 50,000 yuan this year.
Coupled with the pressure money saved in previous years, it totaled nearly 130,000.
Knowing that he had such a large amount of money, his son excitedly made a two-page shopping list:
Buy a learning machine, a new computer, a set of gaming equipment, a pair of high-top sneakers...
Dad glanced at his shopping list, shook his head, and said, "You're still young, I'll save it for you first." ”
He was given 500 yuan of pocket money, and the rest was taken away.
How big is the gap from 50,000 to 500?
The son was so angry that he ignored his father for several days.
The husband disciplined him: "You don't lack food and clothing, what do you do with so much money in your hand?" ”
The son Zhenzhen had a word: "This is sent to me by my grandparents and grandparents, as well as my uncles and aunts!" How can adults rob children of their money? ”
Father and son did not give in to each other, and let me judge while arguing.
I couldn't bear it, so I said to my husband:
"You are indeed a bit excessive in this matter, how can you confiscate all the money of your children?"
As a result, my husband said that I was too accustomed to children, and in the end the problem was not solved, and the two of us had a cold war for a night.
In fact, the amount of money for contemporary children is generally large, which has long exceeded his own consumption level, and I certainly do not support my son to spend it indiscriminately.
However, I do not support the direct confiscation of all by adults.
Confiscation of pressed money
Will raise the child to be potentially poor
I have seen a news that there is a 10-year-old boy in Chongqing who stole money three times behind his parents' back and forth, all of which were used to buy snacks and toys.
His parents lectured him harshly and made him admit his mistake.
The boy was very unconvinced: I was taking the money stored in my mother's place, how can I steal it?
Resolutely do not admit mistakes.
Helplessly, his parents took him to the police station.
The police communicated with the boy for more than an hour, and the boy promised not to take the money without authorization in the future.
Although there is something wrong with the child stealing money, this story has to make parents think deeply.
Sanmao said:
"Even if you are a child, you don't have to worry about food and clothing at home, and when you walk, you still expect a few copper plates to ring in your pocket."
Some parents feel that children do not worry about eating and wearing, and what do they want to do with so much money?
As everyone knows, even the youngest children have the need for free shopping.
Pressing old money is not so much a way for friends and relatives to express love and care, but rather a way for children without income to take the opportunity to have their own "small treasury".
Confiscating the old money seems to avoid children from spending money indiscriminately, but in fact, it forces the children who are shy in their pockets to have to "take risks", and they are more greedy in the face of money.
There was also news last year: there were two 14-year-old boys in Chongqing, who had lost contact for a day before the start of school, and their parents were anxious to call the police.
The police found them and cried and laughed.
It turned out that they saw that the winter vacation was coming to an end, and they were worried that their parents would let them hand over the money after the school started, so they decided to spend the money before their parents spoke.
The two went to the playground together, bought a lot of snacks, ate two big meals, and watched a 3D movie...
More than a thousand are spent in one day.
Education scholar Yin Jianli said:
"In the management of the old money, any perfect design, if it causes the child to be unhappy, even if he reluctantly agrees, there is no meaning."
The child may feel that his parents are calculating him, and what he learns is calculation and distrust, which also has a negative impact on cultivating a healthy view of money. ”
Some parents believe that the amount of money is large, and the children are not well managed, so they have to leave in various names.
Children with limited experience cannot see the intentions of their parents, and only see that the money that should be completely their own is taken away by their parents, so they make all kinds of noise and demonization.
Either secretly hide money, take money, or seize the opportunity to retaliate.
Only can not learn to consume rationally, let alone understand the correct concept of money, values should be.
Therefore, if parents confiscate their children's old-age money, they will obliterate the good opportunity to educate their children, and it is likely to raise their children into potential poor people.
Manage your own money
It is a compulsory course for children to grow up
Perhaps some parents question: pressing the old money is a lot of money, if all of it is handed over to the child for safekeeping, can he control himself and not spend it indiscriminately?
It is indeed inappropriate to completely entrust the old age money to the child for safekeeping, and it is likely that the child will be used to being extravagant and do not know how to control.
There is a 12-year-old boy in Harbin who receives 13,500 yuan in 5 days.
Before his parents could ask, he invited more than 20 classmates to take turns to eat, sing and play games at high-end restaurants, and spent two days.
Children have poor self-control, and when they see a huge amount of money, it is inevitable that they will not be too big.
It cannot be confiscated, nor can it be completely handed over to the child for safekeeping, so what should be done?
The "Survey Report on The Pressure of Chinese Children's Age-Old Money" surveyed 28 provinces, municipalities and autonomous regions and found that:
Regardless of age group, half of parents choose to co-manage with their children.
Nearly 90% of parents will not directly confiscate their children's money, but will consult with their children or inform their children of the specific purpose of the money.
Is it to save, or to invest in financial management?
Is it as a cost to study, or is it for children to buy something they love?
Different families may have different answers.
My advice is that parents can give their children the right to use this money, provided that both parties jointly manage this "huge amount",
Wen Fang, director of the Beijing Adolescent Psychological Counseling Center, said:
"Pressing the old money itself is an educational opportunity, and parents should guide their children to learn to manage their finances and know how to repay favors."
It is better to teach people to fish than to teach them to fish.
Far-sighted parents know how to cultivate their children's views and values on money through the "props" of pressing old money.
1. Teach children to distribute money and cultivate children's concept of money
The best-selling wealth enlightenment book in Europe and the United States, "Puppy Money Money", tells us that income can be divided into three parts:
10% of daily expenses, 40% of dream goals, 50% of Golden Goose accounts (i.e. the "money makes money" part).
I think that the child's pressure on the age of money can also refer to this proportion.
For example, after the incident that day, I held a family meeting and finalized his plan with my son to use his old-age money:
10% of it is used as his daily pocket money, but because the amount is relatively large, it must be paid in 2 years;
40% saved for large consumption plans, such as buying study machines, summer vacation travel, developing personal interests, etc.;
The remaining 50%, we help him with the investment.
In this way, the child has both daily pocket money, can complete some large spending targets, and can also achieve value-added, and the son readily agreed after listening.
2. Teach children simple investment and cultivate children's financial awareness
Many parents are worried that the money in the hands of their children will not appreciate, so they often take away the money in the name of "I help you increase your value".
"Puppy Money Money" tells us throughout the book:
Even children, as long as someone teaches them, they can learn to invest and grasp the code of wealth.
There is a father in Guangdong who let his son understand some basic investment concepts in order to let his son invest 10,000 years of money in his own company.
The father and son signed a very formal agreement in which Dad promised to pay a 10% interest dividend at the end of each year.
Even children feel that this way makes more sense than simply saving in the bank.
So we can use the pressure of old money to teach children some simple investment concepts, so that he can see the magic of money making money.
If the child is older, you can also explain some fund knowledge to him, cultivate the child's financial quotient in advance, and learn to be responsible for his own choices.
3. Develop hobbies and interests to give children a colorful childhood
Lu Xun's favorite custom when he was a child was to collect money from the New Year, not only to buy his favorite drums and clay people, but most importantly, to buy the books and drawings he had liked for a long time.
In the past, the amount of money was small, and it was difficult to buy any large items, so he bought them with his brothers.
At the age of 12, he and his second brother Zhou Zuoren bought a copy of "Mao Shi Jing Wu Tu Kao", which was described in the "Book of Poetry" with pictures and annotations, such as grass, trees, birds, insects, insects, fish, and other things, which he liked for a long time.
Another time, he bought a copy of the "Sea Immortal Painting Notation" with the second brother and the third brother, and after reading it, he gave it to the third brother Zhou Jianren, and then went to buy a collection.
As an adult, Lu Xun not only moved the world with his writing name, but also made good achievements in painting, seal engraving, and collection, and his childhood money was "meritorious".
Don't underestimate the interests of children, sometimes hobbies are also very "burning money".
Like my son, who has always been interested in photography, I promised him that if he improved this semester, I would agree that he would buy a camera with the money he pressed for.
Children have no income, it is usually difficult to buy related items, and the "huge amount" of money is a rare opportunity for them.
Allowing children to use the money to develop their hobbies is to allow children to have colorful happiness, and parents should strongly support them.
4. Guide children to be grateful to their elders
Pressing the old age money is the performance of the elders to care for the children, but in turn, parents can also guide the children to thank the elders with the pressure of the old money.
For example, when grandparents celebrate their birthdays, let the children use the money to buy a small gift to express their blessings.
On Father's Day and Mother's Day, guide children to buy small gifts for their fathers and mothers with the money.
It is of course customary for elders to give children money, but children cannot take the elders' efforts for granted, so parents can guide their children to give back to their elders in a way that they can.
The greatest happiness of a family is to raise a grateful child.
Let children learn to "exchange courtesies and courtesies", which is also a kind of gratitude education.
There is a hot topic on Weibo that more than 400 million people are watching:
Who's counting on the child's old age money?
Legal Daily's interpretation from a legal perspective is refreshing:
"Pressing the old age money is legally an act of donation and should belong to the recipient, so the old age money belongs to the minor."
But he can entrust his parents with custody, and the parents cannot take it for themselves, nor can they simply consume it for themselves. ”
Pressing on money is never just a matter of money, but also a matter of rights and dignity.
Yin Jianli also said in the book "A good mother is better than a good teacher":
Even if children are occasionally inappropriate in disposing of the money, sometimes "squandering" and spending in useless places, it is also a compulsory course for growth.
The "wasted" money is paid for tuition.
Managing money is, in a sense, also the only way to manage life.
Learning to deal with money is a compulsory course for every child to grow up, and pressing on money is the best opportunity for this class.
It not only cultivates the child's view of wealth and values, but also determines whether he is happy or not in life.
When parents confiscate it directly, the child is more greedy for money; the parent indulges, and the child is squandered.
The way parents deal with their children's old money not only writes down the child's future wealth code, but also determines the pattern of the child's life.
Click "like it", I hope that in the new year, every child can get happiness and growth in the pressure of old money, healthy and happy, and rich for a lifetime.