1, girlfriend: "Your life can be described as super Mary." Me: "Yes, go forward to reach your goal!" Girlfriend: "No, it's because you're on your path in life."

1, girlfriend: "Your life can be described as super Mary." Me: "Yes, go forward to reach your goal!" Girlfriend: "No, it's because you hit a wall today and drop a pit tomorrow on your life path, but you can still be so happy!" "Me

2, girlfriend: "Your life can be described as super Mary." Me: "Yes, go forward to reach your goal!" Girlfriend: "No, it's because you hit a wall today and a pit tomorrow on the road of your life, but you can still be so happy..."

3, friend: "Your life can be described as Super Mary." Me: "Yes, go forward to reach your goal!" Friend: "No, it's because you hit a wall today and drop a pit tomorrow on your life path, but you can still be so happy!" ”

4. Two days ago, the brother-in-law bought a color drift and won 50,000,000 yuan, and directly picked up a Porsche 911 in the 4s store. The old Jetta at home is ready to sell online, and a buyer who hung on the Internet for two days asked me: Can this Jetta be expressed to Shenzhen? I replied: Yes. After she bought it, she asked me: How is the courier paid? I told her: SF generally costs 12 yuan a pound. The buyer said: What if it is a headwind? How much is a headwind?

5) A doctor and a salesman fall in love with a girl at the same time, and the salesman has a week's difference, so he gives the girl seven apples. The girl did not understand, and her girlfriend said the reason: an apple every day, and the doctor stayed away from me! It's to keep you away from his love enemy every day...

6, tomorrow will be the college entrance examination, nervous at night can not sleep. I went to the living room to drink water, and I heard my parents discussing what to do tomorrow morning for breakfast. My mom said: If you don't make fritters and eggs, one fritter and two eggs are a hundred points! After a little silence, my father said: He took so many courses, 100 points is not enough... If you don't give him instant noodles, eat that unified 100...

7. At the end of today, I deliberately took leave at home to wait for my husband to come home, and I waited for him to hand in 8,000 yuan. When my husband came home, he said to me, "There is bad news and a good news to tell you, which one to listen to first??? "I was scared, it wouldn't be unpaid, I said, "Bad." Husband: "The bad news is that there is no good news." Me: "Then listen to the good news." The husband laughed and said, "The good news is that there is no bad news." ”

8, cousin and college boyfriend together for four years, 3 children, almost graduated and pregnant. The man's family - dragged on not to get married, until the wedding was almost born!! On the way to the wedding, my cousin had a big belly. I asked my cousin's husband privately: "She looks like she is about to give birth, how can she delay getting married at this time, how inconvenient is it?"?" Her husband laughed: "You don't understand, what kind of character does she have that you don't know?" At this time, she got married, in a few days she was born, and on her honeymoon she was confined, I didn't have to accompany her around, how nice!! "I was stunned....

9, Tang Wutong finished makeup, carefully dressed up, carried LV to the vegetable market to buy vegetables. Halfway to the road, it suddenly began to rain, and just when Tang Wutong was helpless, Huo Yuhao sent her an umbrella. Tang Wutong was touched, and when he wanted to thank his husband, his husband spoke first: Come, hurry up and open the umbrella, otherwise it will wet your more than 8,000 furs, and I have to buy you a new one. Tang Wutong: ...

10, wearing sunglasses and baseball cap, Teacher Bi leaned into a taxi, and the driver glanced at the rearview mirror casually and exclaimed: "You are not that...!" Teacher Bi nodded, "You are the first driver to recognize me." "The driver slaps his thigh!" Oh, you'd say Chinese!!! ”

11, in the garden, I heard a four- or five-year-old child say loudly, "Let's play the big change of life!" I was amazed, so I stopped to see how they played, and then I saw this child pointing to another child and saying, "You come to be poop, let's be alive!" ”

12. It is about to go to high school, and the principal of our city's key high school came to our school today to enroll. There is only one criterion, that is, the seedlings who choose key classes. Homeroom teacher push!! When I met me and two other classmates, our grades were on par. But the headmaster fell in love with me at a glance... The reason is that I am the ugliest and the hairstyle is very ugly, and it is the material for serious reading at first glance!

13, I cried with my colleagues that he had lost a lot of hair recently, and he comforted me: "Don't be sad, I have recently encountered the same situation as you." Me: "You lose your hair too?" He said, "No, my other friend, he loses his hair as badly as you." "I...

14, the mother with the freshly steamed bun into the house, the son reached out to eat, the mother slapped down: go aside, first let your father eat! The father said triumphantly: See? This is the wife! When the father finished eating a bun and wanted to eat it, the mother brought the bun to her son and said: Eat it, it seems to be cooked. The son looked at his angry father and said: See? That's Mom!