1. During the lunch break, the company entered a thief, and a few of us men locked the door to catch him, and he picked up a pair of scissors on his desk, and we were afraid that he would not dare to come forward. At this time, a female colleague who was not yet thirty years old said, "Forget it, let him go." The thief said, "Thank you fat aunt, please open the door." "The female colleague picked up the chair and smashed it, and we all looked at it in pain.
2. Teacher Sun was playing chess with the neighbor's uncle, and his daughter Xiaosun came over and said, "Dad, I drove the car over, tomorrow you can use it!" "With that said, leave the key and go." The uncle saw it and said enviously: "Old sun, you are really blessed, my daughter has sent you all the cars." Teacher Sun listened, smiled lightly, and said: "He often drives the car for me to use, but unfortunately the oil is a little less." The uncle asked, "How much oil?" Teacher Sun shook his head and said, "You can also run to the nearest gas station!" ”
3. Today I saw a big aunt fall and just want to help. The eldest uncle stopped me and did not let me help, I looked at the uncle stunned, and the uncle suddenly said, "I help," took two steps and turned to me and said, "In case you blackmail me, I will also lie down." Uncle's tall back seems to flash a dazzling light to see a friend update status: 5 0:44 ticket, I 5 23:00 to the train station, and when the pointer points to 0:00, the tragic thing happened, the date jumped to the 6th. I'll go......
4. My husband has a bad habit when he sleeps, that is, he must wrap me to sleep, and the bag is still very strong. This night my husband wrapped me up and slept soundly, and I suddenly felt like I was turning! It turned out that my husband was wrapping me up, I opened my eyes, I was wrapped by my husband, he turned over and I followed in the air. I was almost scared to pee.
5. Got up late to take a taxi to work, and at the intersection, in front of the red light, I saw a Bentley hit the butt of a Volkswagen Phaeton. Bentley owner: "Don't you see my logo?" Volkswagen Phaeton owner was silent for a long time, silently opened the trunk of the car. Revealing a broken painting and a few broken antiques, he sneered and said, "The total value is 100 million." ”
6. When I went to my mother's house for dinner, my wife flipped through the photo album on the coffee table and asked me with a jealous face: "Who is the baby girl who holds your arm?" The skin is in good shape. My sister said from the side, "What kind of eyes do you have, this is me." On the way home, my wife carried a large bag of fruit and snacks sent by my sister and said to me: "How's it going, my ass is OK?" ”?
7. When the brother-in-law went to the supermarket to buy fruit for his younger sister, he bought a very sharp multi-functional fruit scraper. Every time my brother and sister quarreled with her, the brother-in-law went to the kitchen to polish the fruit knife without a word. The younger siblings were so frightened that a civil war was over before it had officially begun. Once, I couldn't help but ask my brother and sister: Do my brothers really dare to cut you? The younger sister said: How can it be, I am afraid that he will commit suicide. "
8. The company's year-end bonus was 80,000, so I bought two bottles of Moutai wine and took it to my girlfriend's house as a guest. The girlfriend's family was very hospitable and took turns drinking with me, and in the end I was unconscious. The next morning I got up, found that my girlfriend had been pulling her face, and only after careful questioning did I know that the future husband asked me after I was drunk last night: Why do you look up to my girlfriend? My answer is: good breeding is not picky eaters, people are stupid and have no memory. Sloppy, now I don't know how to face the future husband!
#Funny Moment#Funny Paragraph# #年度搞笑名场面 #
A wave of wonderful GIFs to !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
