1, since the wife got the driver's license, people sent nicknames to the ghost, when driving Yama must be afraid of three points. This time my wife crashed again, and I asked what car it was, and my wife: It seemed to be a BYD

1, since the wife got the driver's license, people sent nicknames to the ghost, when driving Yama must be afraid of three points. This time the wife crashed again, and I asked what car it was, and the wife: It seemed to be a BYD, electric. I was relieved and said: This car does not need to report insurance, it is directly private. The rear-ended driver was reluctant to do so, so he yelled at the phone: My car is a BYD electric car, yes, but my car is loaded with 38 people. I was blindfolded: Big brother, what kind of car are you?? Driver: I'm in the public transport system, you say. At that time, I almost vomited blood: No, the buses were hit, and I didn't want this daughter-in-law.

2, the boss pursues a girl in the store, the girl always refuses, one day the boss took out 1 million money in front of the girl to propose, or the girl refused. Finally one day the girl got married, invited the people in the store to her wedding, the boss watched the girl get out of the Rolls-Royce Phantom wedding car, sighed and said, "Money is not omnipotent, a lot of money is omnipotent." ”

3, a female colleague who cut the door invited me to eat hot pot, spent 204 yuan. When I checked out, my nose was almost crooked, and she directly pulled out a coupon for 100 yuan: AA bar, I have a coupon given by this store, you pay the other half! I was speechless and said, "Isn't that right?" Unexpectedly, she sighed, took out two coins from her bag and said: Yes, I still owe you two pieces!

4, a few days ago on WeChat met a girl, the result of several days did not go online. Just now I saw her online again, I couldn't help but get excited, and asked her: "What have you been busy with lately?" The girl replied mischievously: "I will tell you if you send a big red envelope." I gritted my teeth and sent a big one, and the other party sent a rough voice: "No wonder my wife said that she was really just chatting and playing with you, brother, which woman will have an idea about you." "I suddenly felt a chill in my heart after listening to it, and it was over, and this 0.01 yuan was adrift."

5, the ugly duckling is getting more and more beautiful, and the mother duck is very worried. On this day, the mother duck brought scissors to cut off the wings of the ugly duckling. The ugly duckling refused and asked his mother, "Why cut off my wings?" The mother duck said, "If you don't cut your wings, you're going to fly, and your dad knows you can fly, and he won't skin me yet?"

6. Roommates often sleepwalk. One day, shortly after we had slept, we suddenly heard the sound of ping-pong and ping-pong, got up to look, and found our roommate sleepwalking under a quilt. At this point, I quietly sneaked to the back and ripped off her quilt. I only saw him standing in the same place without any clothes, stunned for two seconds, and calmly said to me: Goku, why did you take off the robe of the teacher?

7, took a small project, pulled a cart of bricks, the result is broken when touched. There was an emergency, and a phone call was made to the brick factory. The director of the factory listened to the music and said happily that he could find it, this batch of bricks was customized by the Martial Arts Association, the wrong goods were sent, and there was a claim that several masters and abbots were hospitalized

8, in the evening, I was drinking with a few friends, and I was drinking vigorously. Suddenly a brother put the cup down, and even said: I'm really sorry, I have a few brothers who told me to drink, I promised to go, almost forgot, you drink well, I can't accompany you! So I hurriedly took a taxi and left, but who knew that the goods would return in twenty minutes. He saw us and said, "I'm sorry brothers, I'm late, I just finished drinking with a bunch of idiots!"

9, you believe me, if Zaza sees today's boot photos, he will definitely lose weight crazy again! Because she cares too much about her appearance, beautiful women must always maintain the most beautiful state, and it is absolutely not allowed to lose weight!!!

10. In elementary school, my math score was very stable, and I was always a dozen points. I always change 1 to 7 and then to 9. Every time my father comforted me and said: 70 points is 70 points, what a shame. What to change, not worse than Dad was, the next time you try on it. If it wasn't for the good play and the test of 20 points, I think I could keep it hidden.

11, recently the daughter-in-law is busy, there is no time to tutor the granddaughter, the granddaughter is not good at writing homework, the grades have declined! The daughter-in-law scolded her granddaughter fiercely. The granddaughter did not say a word, nor did she cry, but listened sensibly and nodded her head unceasingly. In the evening, the son had just left work, and the granddaughter fell to her knees and cried: Daddy, let's take a break from this woman with a knife mouth and an axe heart.

12, Dad: "You washed the sheets yourself, right?" Your mom has been busy lately. Ping Ping: "Or wait until your mother is not busy to wash it!" Dad: "Didn't you get the 'love of labor' comment this semester?" Ping Ping: "But now it's a holiday!" ”

13, in the morning, my son said that he wanted to eat the buns downstairs, and I just wanted to eat them and went to the bun shop downstairs to buy them. Say to the boss, "Here are 4 meat buns." The boss said: "The meat bun is sold out, there are only 4 bean paste, do you want it?" "I thought about it all, okay, give me four bean paste." I tasted one first, and asked the boss in a confused way: "Isn't this meat..." The boss said with a mouth: "Yes, it's meat, don't you want to buy meat buns?" What do you think? Surprised? Surprised? ”

14, half a year ago I lived with my girlfriend, and recently my mother came to see what we were doing. After work tonight, my girlfriend said to me: Let's buy another mini washing machine, which is specially used to wash underwear. The old mother who sat there teasing the dog listened and said to her girlfriend: Daughter-in-law, what are you doing with that money, you really won't live a life! The girlfriend was just about to explain, the mother stared at her and said: Daughter-in-law, from today onwards, you have to remember that my son's nickname is Mini Washing Machine...