After watching Liu Xuezhou's incident, he burst into tears and felt very sad and heavy.
On January 24, Liu Xuezhou, a boy who was blacklisted by his birth mother, released a suicide note, suspected of suicide, writing that he was sold by his biological parents when he was born, his adoptive parents died when he was 4 years old, and then he was bullied during his studies, and he tried his best to embark on a trip to find relatives but was repeatedly rejected, because of the "buy a house" incident, he was also blocked by his birth mother and was stormed by netizens, but he did not mention buying a house, just wanting a home. He said: "I want to give my life an account and pour out my pain into the sea." ”
A boy who is only 15 years old has endured too many misfortunes: he was abandoned at birth, bullied at an early age, abandoned twice after growing up to find his relatives, and was subjected to Internet violence.
Too many people are lamenting and shedding tears for this sunny and kind child, strongly condemning the indifference of his biological parents, the malicious hype of the media, the indifference of human nature and the internet keyboard man.
How can we avoid the recurrence of the Liu Xuezhou incident? Many people are calling for an end to cyberbullying and improving relevant laws and regulations.
Internet violence is the most direct factor causing Liu Xuezhou's suicide, if you look at it from the source, Liu Xuezhou's biological parents need to bear the greatest responsibility, not only personally sell their children for dowry, but also abandon their children again after recognizing their relatives.
◎ Psychological counselor Teacher Li Jianxue pointed out that in addition to the economic necessity, this pair of "parents" are more immature in personality, selfishly living in the self-centered period, it is difficult to truly feel others, and they are unable to assume their due responsibilities and fulfill their obligations.
In fact, in life, such "parents" are not unique.
The movie "What a Home" tells the story of a slum in Lebanon. In court, a 12-year-old boy, "Zane," filed a complaint with the judge against his biological parents for not having children.
Giving birth to a child is responsible for the child, which is the most basic obligation of parents.
The parents in the movie only have violence, insults, beatings, chains, pipes, and belts against their children; Instead of sending children to school, but letting boys work, girls at the age of eleven or twelve are like baggage to others to continue the life of a generation.
Su Mingyu in "All Is Good", from childhood was snubbed by his parents, considered a burden to the family, the sleeping room was sold by his mother, and even admitted to a key university, but also because of his parents' eccentricity.
The bitterness and tears from the original family are already the topic of bad talk.
It can be seen that some parents do not seem to have the ability to love others, do not respect their children as independent individuals, but force their children to control completely according to their own will, their own ideas, or in order to solve economic difficulties, the children are bought and sold as commodities.
In the cases of psychological counseling, most parents love their children in their hearts, but they do not know how to love their children. Some parents are absent for various reasons, some use special authority to control their children, or excessively spoil their children, and they are very "inadequate" in parent-child education.
In today's society, there are strict induction training in all walks of life, and only when parents take up their posts without any learning.
However, as soon as the child is born, does the parent really become the "parent"? Is love enough to educate children?
In psychological counseling, it was found that when children have problems, many times it is the family that has problems, and it is the parenting that has problems. In many troubled families, it is not the children who need to be educated, but the parents.
Previously, there was a topic of 560 million on Weibo: #建议父母持 "certificate of conformity" to work #
Before you welcome the arrival of your child, you may wish to ask yourself: Do I have the ability to be a parent (psychological, financial, and time-intensive)? What does it take to be a qualified parent?
If you ask how to become a qualified parent, there are many professional theoretical guidance and experience, and even different people will have different experiences. Nowadays, parents have paid more and more attention to parent-child education, and they will also learn and grow by reading relevant books and seeking psychological counseling.
Psychologist Hucott said, "The most important source of a well-functioning mental structure is the personality of the parents".
◎ Parents have a sound personality, only in order to truly love their children.
If the parents have unhealthy personalities, even if they read so many books on "how to raise children" and do exactly what they say, they may still create problematic children.
Therefore, parenting is first self-nurturing, and the self-growth of parents is very important. Parents continue to learn, continue to grow, let themselves become people with sound personality, and consciously change, which is the soil for the healthy growth of children.