My eldest sister-in-law's bathroom was broken, so she came to my house to borrow the bathroom to take a shower. It just so happened that my wife was on a business trip again, and at night there were two people at home, me and my eldest sister-in-law. My sister-in-law said to me, you are here

My eldest sister-in-law's bathroom was broken, so she came to my house to borrow the bathroom to take a shower. It just so happened that my wife was on a business trip again, and at night there were two people at home, me and my eldest sister-in-law. My eldest sister-in-law said to me, it is not convenient for me to take a bath at home, you still go out for a walk. I'm a little upset. You borrow my bathroom to take a shower and waste my house's water and electricity. Soap, shampoo. Now let me go out for a walk. This is not enough to say. So I said angrily to my sister-in-law. You give me ten dollars, and I'm going to buy a cup of milk tea to drink. The eldest sister-in-law snorted, only gave me eight dollars, and said to me, just buy a cup of milk tea for eight dollars. Hey, this big sister-in-law is really stingy, the next time she comes to borrow the bathroom, I promise not to open the door for her.

2. After dropping out of junior high school, I went to work at a milk tea shop. A cup of milk tea costs 5 cents, and then sells for 20 yuan. As long as there is a well-positioned façade, 1 million a year can also be earned. Today's young people actually drink milk tea as fashion, do not know that it is all pigment flavor made out of things, moldy fruit is still squeezed into juice for you to drink. I resigned a year later because I was condemned by my conscience. Now I run a milk tea shop and have made 500,000 yuan!

3. The colleague came to the company and his face turned red, and I asked him what was wrong. Just as he was about to go out, a child bounced around in front of his car. He opened his mouth and scolded: Where is the naughty egg, you jump and bump into you again. The words spoken by this baby are also really angry: Come on, come on, come on me. The colleague's fire rubbed up: you little fart really don't leave yourself a way back, if it weren't for the slow speed of my wheelchair, I would have driven over and hit you earlier.

4. The boss is in arrears for two months of wages, and yesterday I forwarded a news in the circle of friends in the space. Roughly speaking, a boss in Guangdong owed wages, and later the young man took a knife and killed the boss barrel. When I retweeted it, I said, "At first I didn't understand the boy's behavior, but now I finally understand!" "Today I was paid a salary, and I was given an extra 1,000 yuan...

5. The little nephew who just went to school this year is particularly mischievous and rebellious, and the family can't control him at all. Later, out of helplessness, my brother and sister-in-law discussed wanting my little nephew to learn martial arts, suffer some hardships, and let the martial arts school discipline it well, and one day the little nephew made a mistake again, and my brother asked his son to kneel behind the door and discipline him: Unless I send you to the martial arts school to suffer some hardships, you will be happy! The little nephew continued: Hurry up and send me over, after I come back, you dare to let me kneel here and try!

6. I bought a pie in the dining room, went back to my dorm room, and ate it on my stomach on the balcony. At this time, I heard a confession downstairs. The girl refused mercilessly, and put down harsh words, wanting to talk to me, unless pie fell from the sky. I listened and hit the pie on the girl's head. Then the girl came again, unless two were dropped. Alas, White threw a pie.

7. Today was a date between my brother and my first girlfriend, and we went to the Western restaurant. As soon as I sat down, my girlfriend directly said please give me a steak, I want eight minutes to cook. I looked embarrassed, I didn't understand it, and pretended to be familiar with the road, and the waiter was about to laugh out. In order to alleviate the embarrassment, I said to the waiter: I also want to be eight points cooked, put more cumin.

8. At night, I was lying on the window looking at my mobile phone when my wife came in after taking a shower. As soon as I came in, he pretended to be shy and asked me: "Brother, see if I am fat again?" I was stunned for a moment, and said very seriously, "Where are you fat?" Look at your skinny skinny bones! The wife listened, a smile instantly broke out on her face, and she asked a little embarrassedly: "Really?" I said calmly, "It's just that the skin is a little thick!" ”

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #