The handsome guy was flustered and sweaty every time he went on a blind date and could not speak, and was diagnosed with "heterosexual phobia"

The Paper's reporter Lu Mei correspondent Song Lisheng

"Dozens of blind dates in three years, every time I see a girl, I am dizzy, flustered and sweaty, I can't say anything, and none of them have the following." Xiao Zhong (pseudonym), a 31-year-old boy in Hangzhou, sat cramped in the office of Su Heng, director of the department of psychology at Zhejiang Provincial People's Hospital.

After a visit, he was diagnosed with "heterosexual phobia" at 1.8 meters tall, handsome and excellent in his work.

"On the one hand, patients have a strong desire to be close to the opposite sex in their subconscious, and on the other hand, they have serious anxiety, which is manifested as abnormal tension and fear in front of the opposite sex." On January 20, Su Heng told The Paper (www.thepaper.cn).

According to reports, his parents have high expectations for Xiao Zhong, and he is repeatedly reminded to study hard and not to be distracted when he is reading. After graduating from graduate school, his parents still told him to start a career before considering marriage. By the age of 28, the parents felt that their son could find a girlfriend. Xiao Zhong made full preparations before each blind date, but as soon as he saw the girl, he did not dare to look at it and did not dare to say anything. The family thought he was shy, and many times they did, only to find that he was not only shy, but afraid.

"When the girls look at me, I feel as if I have been made to the Law, I can't say anything, and I don't dare to lift my head." Xiao Zhong said that he also wanted to talk to the girl, and he had played the abdominal draft many times, but when he wanted to talk, he was particularly nervous and his brain was blank. Dozens of blind dates, each time very much anticipated, each time is torture.

Such a blind date performance, no girl is satisfied, and even some girls ask: "Are you sure it is a normally working engineer?" No problems with IQ? ”

Su Heng said that "heterosexual phobia" will seriously affect normal life, especially love marriage, the main performance is to avoid most of the opposite sex interaction, as well as limbs trembling, blushing, can not make a sound, sweating, dizziness and other physiological manifestations, "only for a certain period of time there is this kind of performance, we generally do not make a diagnosis, only most of the time and the duration is long enough, and seriously affect the social functions of life, work and other social functions to make a diagnosis." ”

He believes that the main reason for "heterosexual phobia" is the idea of sex and love that patients are indoctrinated from childhood, they usually think that "sex is dirty and invisible", "early love is very bad", etc., but this directly contradicts the desire for love in the heart; and part of the reason is that they are very concerned about the evaluation of the opposite sex, and they try to avoid it when they think of others' possible judgments and negative evaluations of themselves. Drugs can relieve anxiety, but it is not helpful for the patient's inner growth, "systematic psychotherapy should be carried out to enhance the overall cognition of the self and overcome the negative cognition previously formed." ”

Editor-in-Charge: Xie Chunlei