Since the opening of the three-child policy, how many babies a family chooses to have has become a public issue.
For many families, raising one more child means an extra heavy responsibility, even if they "don't dare to have children if they want to."
But is raising Dova really a terrible thing?
This "baby-addicted" Taiwanese family may be able to give you an unexpected answer.
In New Taipei City, Taiwan Province, there is such a family of 7.
The couple has had six children in a row over a decade, the oldest of whom is 10 years old and the youngest is only 10 months old.
The woman below, holding her son in one hand and shaking the bottle with the other, is the heroine of this story- Guo Shiwei. Nearly forty years old, she worked as a hospital attendant and had her first child at the age of thirty.
Giving birth to a baby at the age of thirty is considered to be a half-age mother. But as a professional, she is not afraid of the baby. In the nine years that followed, she gave birth to five children, and until now, they are still not ready to stop the pace of childbearing.
Raising a child can make a family chicken fly dog jump, let alone so many?
But surprisingly, Guo Shiwei's six children are very sensible, they take care of each other, and each of them is a powerful little assistant to her mother.
The six children were each well-behaved
The eldest daughter, Xu Panxin, like her mother, has short, neat hair. As the eldest sister in the family, she has learned to share the housework for her mother at a young age, and she can go out alone, take a taxi to buy vegetables, and get rid of a little adult.
The second daughter, Xu Yuehan, is 8 years old this year, and she is a well-behaved and capable housework master.
She likes to clean things up and often takes the initiative to tie an apron to help her mother wipe the floor and wash the dishes.
The third elder Xu Peiyang, unfortunately died of illness three months after birth, which is a scar that the whole family still can't forget, but he will always live well in the heart of the family, whenever someone asks about the children: "How many children do you have in your family?" At that time, they would all reply in unison, "Six!" ”
The fourth elder Xu Muxuan is the third sister in the family, but also the most lively child in the family, she has learned to dance, she is a powerful "stretch king", the family can always see her practicing the basic skills of the figure.
The fifth elder Xu Lizhe is one year younger than the third sister, and grew up in the love of his parents and three older sisters, he loves to spoil and play, and is the treasure of the family.
The old sixth Xu Yixuan is still a small baby, he is the "big doll" of his sisters, and he is also the new hope of the family.
The sixth is also the only child who was not born in the hospital, when the mother Guo Shiwei, in order to save money, accompanied by her husband, the child and the midwife, greeted the arrival of the sixth baby directly in her own bathroom.
For children, Guo Shiwei and his wife did not think that everyone was busy and dizzy, but they enjoyed it.
When her husband went out to work, Guo Shiwei "hit five" at home, and no matter how busy and tired she was, she took her own children and never let the elders come to help.
In addition to cleaning up the housework, Guo Shiwei is also responsible for the tutoring of each child's curriculum, acting as a "tutor".
In addition to basic literacy and numeracy, the piano of the eldest daughter and the dance of the fourth daughter are all areas that she needs to tutor.
In addition to "tutoring", Guo Shiwei also pays attention to the psychological growth of children. It is not only necessary to reasonably mediate the contradictions between children, but also to correct them in time when children make mistakes and give them correct guidance.
In order to make herself not excessive self-consumption, Guo Shiwei also has her own way of adjusting. She would choose a weekend half a day to send the children to her grandparents' house, go to a café alone, read a book, stare in a daze, and enjoy the time alone.
Time will also be taken out to take the children to the wilderness camping, and everyone will sit around the campfire and chat and sing.
In the eyes of many people, the very difficult relationship between the Dolly family and the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is easy to play here in Guo Shiwei. Whether it is in educating children to form the right three views, or in coordinating the relationship between the family, and in the transformation of identity between work and stay-at-home mothers, she has done a good job.
Couples are keen to have children, not only because they like children and enjoy the happiness of their children and grandchildren, but also because after losing their third year, they have more experienced the great significance of life: "Children will cry and make trouble is grace."
Perhaps, you will feel that such a family is either rich or expensive, and has strong financial resources and manpower.
But in fact, they are also an ordinary office worker, and her husband is the basis for her to dare to have six children.
From the time they planned to continue to have children, Guo Shiwei and his wife were ready to face everything. Although they are just ordinary working families, they dare to give birth and dare to raise them.
The most rare thing is that Chen Shiwei's husband has always been the most solid backing for his wife, and he has supported a family with actions, and has given his wife and children irreplaceable love. Presumably his sentence: "The support and tolerance between husband and wife, there is no difficulty that cannot be overcome." "Gave my wife a great sense of security.
Compared with those men who only use their mouths to say that they are distressed by their wives, but let their wives bear the heavy responsibilities of the family, Guo Shiwei's husband is undoubtedly outstanding. Perhaps, this is the biggest confidence that Guo Shiwei dares to have a child. To this day, she still remembers what her husband said when he confessed to her: "Maybe I can't understand your experiences and feelings, but in the days to come, I want to walk with you and know you better." ”
Harrieghan and his wife, who have been controversial in the outside world, have also been getting along in this way.
During Meghan's pregnancy, a photo of Prince Harry and her was widely circulated, and in that photo, sharp-eyed foreign media found a hole in the sole of Prince Harry's leather shoe.
Although the British aristocracy has always had the habit of "new three years, old three years, sewing and patching for another three years", but with Meghan's hundreds of thousands of millions of dollars in installation fees, it has to be lamented: "Prince Harry is really a spoiled wife demon." ”
It is precisely because of such a husband that Megan can always be herself in the whirlpool of public opinion.
After Megan gave birth, when the couple held the newborn little prince in their arms to meet with the media, Megan changed her former capable image, gently stroked her hair and said: "I have the two best guys in the world. (I have two of the best men in the world.) ）”
Because of her husband's care and tolerance, Megan can calmly switch from wife to mother. With the confidence of the husband, the wife has the pride of the mother.
Although childbearing is the most basic right of every woman and every family, and having several children is the choice of each couple, if you choose to have more children with the goal of "fighting to the son" and "passing on the generations", it is unfair to every child.
The tragedy of Yichun, Jiangxi last year, may already be remembered by many people.
A couple in their early thirties died unexpectedly of carbon monoxide poisoning in their rental house, leaving behind eight children. Of the eight children, the youngest is 9 months old, and the oldest is only 12 years old.
Local villagers said that the husband of the couple is a native of Zhuting Town, and they already had 4 children when they returned to their hometown from Yichun City because of part-time work in Yichun City. After returning to Zhuting Town, the man bought a van to help others pull sand to earn money to support the family, while the woman took care of the children at home.
Slowly, more and more children are born. With the exception of the youngest of three children, the other five children have gone to school, and the burden of life is getting heavier, and the succession of children has made the already poor family worse.
What is even more incomprehensible is that when the young couple gave birth to their fourth child, the local village committee had dissuaded the young couple from having fewer children, but the two insisted on having children, and because of their general family conditions, the village committee could not make substantive intervention, and the punishment was naturally over.
Why do poor people have so many children? There is only one reason: to want a son, a healthy son.
Among the two children, from the eldest to the fourth is a daughter, and the fifth is a son and has hearing defects. In order to fight men, they also gave birth. Until the eighth old, he was finally a healthy son.
The son who had been waiting for him was only 9 months old, and the couple died.
The 8 children left behind will live with their grandmothers and uncles and aunts in the future, and the local government will give each child a monthly orphan subsidy of 1200 yuan until they are 18 years old.
But what's the use? These eight children were not born in love, just to cater to the purpose of their parents to "stay behind", even the parents are gone, and how many people can really care and love them.
It is said that "raising children to prevent old age", but the meaning of this sentence has been misinterpreted by too many people, believing that only "raising sons" can achieve "no worries after old age". When the freedom of procreation is replaced by "leaving a queen", how sad!
The premise of childbirth is that you are really ready: to participate in the birth of a life, to witness the growth of a life, not to seek the perfection of children, not to fight for our faces, and not to help us to retire... As long as this life exists healthily, there is enough courage in this world to fight against ups and downs, and that is enough.
The world is so beautiful because of its richness.
Some people like a lively and noisy life, some people love a cold and quiet life; some people choose dink and freedom, then some people will enjoy the fun of children and grandchildren around their knees...
Raising six children must be difficult for Mr. and Mrs. Guo Shiwei, but both couples are trying to take responsibility for their choices. We can't "demonize" the matter of childbearing, and those who "dare to have and dare to raise" will not feel that children are a burden.
I think the most important thing in life is not whether to have children or not, but to have the courage to choose and the ability to bear all the consequences.