1
Looking forward to it, looking forward to it.
The little divine beasts were finally all caged.
However, the hearts of parents can only relax a little.
Every day, after waiting for the children to finish school, they returned to the homework tutoring site of "chicken flying dog jumping".
And every day when the little god beasts come home from school, they still can't wait to know how he is doing at school?
Especially for children who have just started kindergarten and elementary school.
Parents are even more relieved.
As soon as he saw the child, he began to ask questions in a series of questions.
You will find that there are a lot of problems filled with anxiety.
"Did you get into a fight with your classmates today?"
"Have you ever been criticized by your teacher?"
"How are you doing, crying?"
……
But asking in this way will only make the child think about whether he has a fight or has he been criticized by the teacher.
Some children even make up stories in order to get "satisfactory" answers for their parents.
For example, which classmate snatches his toy is bullying himself.
The teacher did not name himself to answer the question, did the teacher not like me?
I still remember that when Little Fish was in kindergarten, I went to pick him up in the park every day.
If I ask him, "How are you doing today, are you having fun?" ”
He would tell me what he had played with the kids that day, and he was very happy.
If I ask him, "Are there any children bullying you?" ”
He would think about it for a long time and would tell me which kid had pushed him or argued with him for something.
I found that after the child's school, parents talked to their children about something and talked about what kind of topics.
It really affects how the child feels about school, and how he feels about his peers.
2
So how do you talk to your child?
Be sure to talk more about positive issues, in fact, children will be very willing to talk to you.
What kind of problems are positive?
For example, "Did you have a fight today?" "It is negative, a kind of questioning and denial of the child.
Can it be replaced by "Is it fun to be with your classmates?" "It's a positive problem.
In fact, children are more willing to talk about positive problems.
Sometimes, you ask negative questions, and the child thinks you want to get him into trouble, is it trying to kill him and teach him a lesson?
Instead, they will frustrate or avoid talking about it.
So, it's hard to get the information you really want.
The second is to ask specific questions.
Suppose you ask your child, "Are you serious about class today?"
Or "What did you learn today?" ”
This kind of question will make the child not know how to answer you.
It is better to look at the homework notice of the day and know what your child has learned.
Talk to your child about what he learned that day.
For example, the little fish just went to the second grade, and the first lesson he learned was "The Little Tadpole Finds His Mother".
If you say to your child, "Today, did you learn that the little tadpole is looking for its mother, and how did the little tadpole find its mother?" I don't even remember, can you tell me about it? ”
In this way, your child will be excited to tell you what he has learned in class.
And then we can talk about it together, are there any other animals like this?
A Chinese class begins and becomes a popular science class.
If your child learns measurements and units in math class.
Then don't ask what math learned?
For example, take an object, ask the child to measure its length, and then make a record.
This shows how well he learned in school.
Finally, there are some questions that should be asked carefully.
There are a small number of parents who are afraid that their children will be punished in school.
So they will ask the child, whether the teacher hits people, whether they physically punish people?
This will make the child wonder, "My parents are not very uneasy about the teacher, is the teacher not good?" ”
They will even quietly observe the teacher and find some problems to report to their parents.
Do you still have the heart to learn from the teacher?
If the child says the teacher is too harsh.
Or talk about the shortcomings of teachers.
Instead, parents should tell their children why the teacher is doing this.
And let the child understand that the teacher will also have shortcomings, no one is perfect, you must learn to tolerate.
The future I want is to see a sense of security
3
There are still many children who come home and are chattering non-stop, but their parents can't put their mouths instead.
At this time, you must not think that what the child says is useless nonsense, so you love to listen to it and only busy with your own.
Be sure to learn to listen carefully to your child's.
The careful listening of parents sets a good example for children to listen.
They will also learn to listen to other people.
In addition, in these humble "nonsense", there may be important information hidden.
I have seen such a small story, and the memory has always been very deep.
A little girl, after coming home from school, told her father that she had seen a ghost and was afraid to sleep alone.
Fortunately, Dad didn't think she was thinking wildly, so he patiently asked her, "What does this ghost look like?" ”
The little girl said, "It's black, you can't see clearly, you can't see it clearly, you can't see it at a glance and it disappears." ”
The father talked seriously with his daughter for a long time and learned that her daughter "often saw ghosts on the way home from school."
Later, the father took a special leave of absence to leave work early, followed her behind his daughter, and finally saw a middle-aged man wearing a hat stalking his daughter on the third day, he called the police and subdued the stalker.
What keeps her daughter safe is her father's patient listening.
He didn't think that was the reason the child was looking for not to dare to sleep alone.
Nor did it say that the child was a hoot.
When your child mentions something that sounds "out of the ordinary" or "inexplicable" to you.
Don't rush to interrupt your child and say they're talking nonsense.
Instead, listen carefully to see why the child says this and why.
4
Parents are the most important mentors in a child's life.
If the child mutters and returns home from school.
Don't be in a hurry to blame your child for this.
"Don't you want to go to school?"
"You're in trouble again at school?"
Or "Is someone bullying you?" ”
You can ask your child softly, "How was your day at school?" ”
If the child does not answer, do not rush.
Let him wash his hands first, put down his bag, and wait for him to talk to you.
Maybe he was just on his way home and didn't catch the little insect?
Or maybe I accidentally fell down and I'm feeling bad.
Therefore, it is better to listen patiently than to blame subjectively.
Encourage your child to express his feelings, not to cry, not to lose his temper, and to speak well.
What parents say often reflects the focus of parents' attention and is also a bellwether to guide children's emotions and concerns.
At the same time, it reflects the inner thoughts and life attitude of parents.
If you focus on your child's inner feelings, you will ask the child, "Are you happy today?" "Is there anything interesting about it, tell your parents about it?" ”
If you care too much about your child's learning, you can't help but ask every day, "Are you serious about going to class today?" "Did the teacher praise you?" ”
It is these different concerns that affect children every day.
In any case, the first words after the child comes home, try to be warm, calm and patient.
It's like when we come home from work after a busy day, hoping to hear the warm words and smiles of our family.
END
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