Wen 丨 Fish Daddy
Source 丨 Raising Boys
1
Some mothers said that if I am not at home, the most reassuring thing is the few people in the family.
I won't take care of my own humility, I'm talking about my husband.
Yes, and my son.
I especially agree with this sentence, because behind it is a deep helplessness and a strong sense of love.
For example, in the past few days, the temperature has fallen off a cliff.
The sky was still drenched in light rain, cold.
When the little fish went out in the morning, he told him that if he was cold, he could wear a hat and block the light rain.
But when I came home for dinner at noon, I shouted cold as soon as I entered the door.
At a glance, my hair was wet and must be cold.
I quickly pulled him to blow dry and told him again, remembering to wear a hat.
Ask him why he didn't wear a hat.
He actually told me that he forgot to have a hat.
Can't you touch the hat with your hand! eldest brother.
Every time I say it bitterly, but I always don't remember to take care of myself.
Remember to undress when it's hot, and you can also reduce your clothes.
But when it's cold, remember to add clothes.
This matter, for the boys, feels useless as many times as it is said.
When it is hot, it is tightly wrapped, but when it is cold, it floats around with open clothes.
When Mom wanted to continue nagging with him.
I stopped her and said, "If you had given birth to a girl, I think when she was 5 years old, you told her to remember to wear a hat, you would definitely wear a hat, maybe even remind you to wear a hat." ”
Because girls are naturally more attentive than boys and more caring.
alas! If there are boys in the family, they must be big-hearted, otherwise...
2
Have you ever noticed that boys are natural troublemakers, energetic enough to skip sleep?
You'll definitely raise your hands in approval!
This little guy born with a "Y" sex chromosome will bring endless educational confusion to parents since birth, and the great Greek philosopher Plato wrote more than 2300 years ago: "Of all animals, boys are the most difficult to control." "
They are adventurous, climbing high, climbing trees, and are often scarred by their "adventurous" moves.
What to do?
The best way to do this is to guide them to release energy.
The best thing to do is to pull them outdoors.
When you bounce around on the couch and bed at home, like a monkey, you don't have much effect.
Instead, they played harder.
It would be better to give him a task to run errands and buy something.
Or take him out the door.
In the vast expanse of the outdoors, they can be jumped.
Sometimes I take little fish down there, and without a playmate, he'll find something to play with himself.
Sometimes the bricks are moved around.
Or come to me provocatively, hoping I can make a fuss about him.
Playing this way home makes it easier to quiet down.
There are boys in the family, and they can't always think of controlling and stopping.
It is better to block than to loosen, and to see the law and needs of children's growth.
In ancient times, boys were born hunters who needed to hone their abilities in fighting and playing.
We should give boys the opportunity to challenge and hone themselves in this way.
3
When we think of boys, we often come across a label – "aggressive".
Indeed, because of the effect of testosterone in the body, boys are not only energetic, but also prone to become manic.
When girls express anger, sometimes they cry.
But the boys were growling and frantic.
This is very much in need of the demonstration and guidance of the role of dad.
Boys can learn the rules of playing while they are playing with their fathers.
They can confidently express their attacks.
When hitting, the child can vent the hidden anger and aggression in his heart.
But Dad loves himself, doesn't retaliate against himself, doesn't hurt himself.
If properly guided, children will not attack people at will.
Instead, the attack will be expressed in a game-like manner according to the specified rules.
Moreover, you will find that although the boy is aggressive, he is very glassy.
You think boys are stronger than girls?
This is a misconception.
In fact, boys' brains are much more fragile than girls' brains.
When encountering external stimuli, boys are more likely to be nervous and anxious.
So the teacher said the next cycle end of the exam.
Girls may be active in preparing for the exam when they hear it.
But many boys will start to worry, not because they are afraid of not doing well in the test, even if they study hard and feel good, but they are worried.
And in the face of such emotions, they do not know what to do.
Some boys choose to destroy and refuse to learn, thinking that it feels better.
But in fact, it is also the effect of covering the ears and ringing the bell, and there will still be tension and anxiety.
At this time, parents should not blame them.
Understand their careful thinking and help them reduce stress.
Don't emphasize grades or talk about exams every day.
Or according to the previous progress, if the child is not in a situation, do not do too much intervention.
4
There are also many mothers who say that the boy in the family, when you talk to him, seems to always be unable to hear.
Boys are actually single-tasked, and they can only do one thing at a time.
If you want him to do something.
Be sure to give them a clear instruction, and if you can, it's best to walk up to him and look him in the eye and tell him what to do.
Otherwise it's useless for you to shout your throat.
For example, if you want your child to go to homework, you are in the room and shout to the child who is in the living room.
I bet I won't listen to even if I call it.
Even if you threaten him in a fit of rage, it won't work.
What can I do at this time?
Please put aside what you are doing for a moment and see what he is doing.
If the bricks are half-assembled, or if the scribbles are not finished, they will not move.
In fact, it is very good that children can do one thing at a time.
And we're always playing the role of disruptors.
For example, sometimes the little fish is doing homework, and the food on my side is already on the table.
In winter, the food was cold very quickly, and he sometimes wanted to finish the problem before moving.
Sometimes we call him over and eat first.
He remained motionless.
I was a little anxious sometimes, urging him over and over again.
I really have to pay attention to it.
If the child is serious about doing his own thing, wait a minute.
Or get his consent and move on to what to do next.
Make it clear what you should do, and if it's homework, tell me the number of pages and the title.
If it's a toy, explain what you need to do:
"Like putting all the toys on the couch and the floor back in the box."
That way they don't just pick up one or two toys and stop playing with something else.
Because they understand instructions that may be completely different from what you think.
Regarding the growth problems of boys, I guess you can still complain a lot.
For example, clothes and shoes can be bought at will, it doesn't matter.
But the toys have to be picked by themselves.
For example, you want to have a deep hug with them.
He hit your head directly into your arms and almost knocked someone in.
There are boys in the family, and they need patience to teach them.
It's not just about making them independent, they're doing their own thing and taking care of themselves.
And slowly learn to take care of the people around you.
When I grow up in the future, when I see that my wife is unwell, I will think of making her a cup of ginger sugar water.
When it's cold, hand her a hot water bottle.
In order to feel the needs of children and give them just the right amount of love and care.
And in the process of raising them.
We need to put a little more effort into reading their behavior.
You will find that they also need our hugs and encouragement.
When your heart is big enough, you will not "dislike" them so much, but feel that they are also warm and cute.