Text/Little Snow Mom
According to the latest statistics of the National Bureau of Statistics: in 2021, the national birth population is 10.62 million, the death population is 10.14 million, and the new population is 480,000, with a natural population growth rate of 0.34%.
From this set of data, we can see that the pressure of today's young people is really great, and more time and energy are put into making money at work, and many families dare not ask for a second one after having a child.
After all, the cost of living is getting higher and higher, the pressure on young people is getting bigger and bigger, the cost of raising children, and the cost of supporting the elderly is getting higher and higher, and young people can only desperately make money in order to make a good life for the family.
And a considerable number of young people, the thinking has undergone great changes, some of the marriage age is generally behind, some even feel that they are very good alone, no mortgage car loans, no family pressure, these reasons lead to fewer and fewer families willing to have children, and even if there are families with children, it is mostly the elderly who help with the baby.
Around us, we can find that many people in the community are playing with their children, and parents have to go to work to make money. But then again, taking children is not an easy thing, although the elderly have certain experience, looking very careful, but not all the elderly are in the care of hard, "perfunctory" situation also exists, pit baby is not negotiable.
The phenomenon of the elderly "false baby" has increased, and it seems that the heart is "perfunctory"
The elderly with the baby gradually become the current "main force", parents have to go to work and have no time to take care of the children, can only choose to let the elderly help to bring, most of the elderly are very attentive to accompany the child, but there are also some elderly people, may only be doing superficial work, and did not really take it well.
First, in order to make the child less noisy, do whatever you want
Some elderly people, although they have certain parenting experience, but with children are more perfunctory, think that it is enough to take care of children to eat and wear warm, more is better than less, the rest will not matter.
As long as the child does not cry and does not make trouble, he goes with the child, he wants to roll on the ground, he wants to eat something to buy something, this way of taking the child, it is easy to "take the child's personality wild", infinite demand amplification, the future will become very difficult to discipline, parents say not to scold, otherwise the child "makes the sex" tantrum.
The second is to take the baby with your own "temper" and be reluctant
There are also some elderly people, with the baby is not "voluntary", but because the children have no time, they can not get rid of it, the process of taking the child is unwilling, the heart is not happy.
When children are disobedient, they often say harsh words such as "you cry again, your mother will not want you" and "I will throw you away if you cry again", which is easy to destroy the feelings between children and mothers, and it is easy for children to become insecure.
Third, usually do not care about children, parents discipline will intervene
Some elderly people usually discipline children less, for children's "mantra" and "swear words" some bad habits do not care, when parents see that they want to educate, the elderly will stand up and intervene.
This kind of "singing the opposite tone" makes it difficult for parents to do, not to mention that it is not conducive to the growth of children, it is also easy to affect the position of parents in the hearts of children, pampering the child's "difficult to discipline" bad disease, the future pit is still the child.
Of course, the above situations are only a few, most of the elderly are still very careful and serious, although sometimes they will be slightly "pet" to the child, but they also love the child from the heart, and are willing to pay for the growth of the child.
The elderly with the baby is not "full responsibility", more responsibility lies with the parents
Although we can understand that parents are busy at work and tired, but the elderly can help us with children, the responsibility of educating children lies more in the parents, after all, not all elderly people have rich educational experience.
In life, parents can help us take our children to cook, but the growth and future of children are still in the hands of parents, and this responsibility parents must not throw to the elderly.
First, come home from work and pick up the child from the old man
After all, most of the elderly have a limited level of education, and it is okay to manage children's daily eating and drinking, and it is certainly not okay to guide children to learn and cultivate children's talents.
After the parents leave work, they will take the child from the hands of the elderly, like the child's personality, habits, tutoring, quality, these must be instilled in the children little by little by the parents in daily life, do not throw everything to the elderly, when the elderly are not good and blame the elderly, these responsibilities are not on the elderly.
Second, the elderly have a hard day, and the children should also be considerate and grateful
Bringing children is also a very hard thing, and the elderly are not old enough energy after all, during the day with a day of children, parents also let the elderly rest and rest at night, on the one hand, increase their time with the child, enhance parent-child feelings, on the other hand, we must also be grateful for the old man's efforts, more understanding of them, care about the inner world of the elderly.
Only when a family understands each other and respects each other and works hard together towards a good goal in life, then such a family can live better, and children will grow up in this family atmosphere and will be more successful in the future.
I am Xiaoxue mom, a post-90s mother, pay attention to me, and share scientific parenting knowledge every day!