IQ determines the lower limit of life, emotional intelligence determines the upper limit of life, emotional intelligence for a child, in the career success opportunities and life happiness index, all play a very important role.
The level of IQ depends on the child's innate genetic inheritance and acquired hard work, while the level of a child's emotional intelligence is more affected by family and family education.
Lingling's son Hao Hao has entered the second year of high school this year, although the child's academic performance is still good, but it always makes his mother more worried, because he will always encounter some trouble with teachers and classmates in school.
Hao Hao's class teacher is a female teacher in her thirties with a very cheerful personality, but often there is no way to take Hao Hao. When Hao Hao was in class, he always talked to his classmates at the front desk, and the teacher planned to transfer a position for him. As a result, the child sat and did not move at all, and the teacher said, "You come to the front and tell me why you don't want to change seats." ”
Hao Hao directly pushed the table to it, and the books and school supplies on the table spilled on the ground. Hao Hao ran out of the classroom, and the teacher also cried. I called my mother, and my mother apologized to the teacher and said, "Teacher, you don't want to see this child in general, I apologize to you for him." This child has a bad temper, it is inherited from his father, his father is unhappy at home with me to pat the table, stare at the eyes, how good this child does not learn, but also learned to lose his temper. ”
Mom said, and her eyes were full of tears. It turned out that Hao Hao's father was a very emotionally unstable person, if he had a temper, it would be difficult to listen to, and he liked to smash things at home. Unexpectedly, the son is the same as the father, and the mother is of course even more sad.
Dad likes to lose his temper with his mother, does not know how to respect his mother, children like to lose their temper with teachers and classmates, do not know how to deal with interpersonal relationships, this is not genetic, but the father's way of doing things affects the child.
Dad is the idol of the son's learning, they will observe the father's words and deeds, to learn how to be a man, so the father's influence on the son is particularly large.
If the father has these characteristics, it may affect the child's emotional intelligence development, and the mother should pay more attention.
First, Dad's mood is unstable and he likes to lose his temper.
When difficulties come, people with high emotional intelligence will calm down and think of ways, but people with low emotional intelligence will first lose their temper and pass on the unhappiness in their hearts to their families. Therefore, there is a saying that men with big tempers generally have no ability, and men with big skills do not have tempers.
If the father loses his temper when he encounters an incident, the son will also follow suit, and liking to lose his temper with others is a manifestation of low emotional intelligence, things cannot be solved, and it will make others hate you.
Second, Dad does not respect Mom, machismo.
A person with high emotional intelligence will make people feel comfortable when they are with others. However, some children do not know how to respect their elders, and often look down on their classmates, and their interpersonal relationships are more tense. Family members need to respect each other, this is the first step for children to learn to respect others, some fathers are very macho, do not respect their wives, and children have learned to speak and act very impolitely. Therefore, father and mother talk well, which is the basis for cultivating children's emotional intelligence and quality.
Third, Dad is very authoritarian and does not pay attention to rules.
The state has the state law, the family has the family rules, and a person with high emotional intelligence must first learn to use the rules to restrain his behavior. Those who line up and skip the ticket in the car will leave a bad impression on all of them.
If the father does not pay attention to democracy at home and does not follow the rules when he goes out, he will bring a bad example to the child and make the child a person to be spurned.
Cultivate children's high emotional intelligence, and mom and dad are the child's first teachers. We want a child with high emotional intelligence who must pay attention to his words and deeds at home.
Family members speak with mutual respect and pay attention to civility and etiquette.
A person's emotional intelligence is high, and it is obvious to say a few words. Family is the closest, talk more respect for each other, our family respect each other, speak politely, children in the talk to others, will respect each other, in order to learn to use polite language. At home, every word and deed between parents has a great impact on the child's behavior in the world.
Parents should be emotionally stable people and create a warm family environment.
In families where parents have bad tempers, children's tempers will also be prone to irritability. The parents' emotions are stable, and the child's personality can be sunny and confident. In a warm family environment, children can grow into a person with a rich heart and decent words and deeds.
Family rules, to be observed by both parents and children.
Spoiled children tend to have lower emotional intelligence because there is no sense of rules in their world. Children should grow up in a family with rules, and we adults should also abide by them, so that children can form habits and be a knowledgeable person.
There is no exam for emotional intelligence, but the height of life is the best answer sheet, be a parent with high emotional intelligence, cultivate a child with temperature and wisdom, and cheer together!