People always regard the courage of teenagers as rebellion, and the cowardice of adults as the overall situation;
Rebellion is a phenomenon that exists in every adolescent child, what can parents do to treat the child's rebellion?
01 Start with respect
Respect is about looking at a person realistically and recognizing their unique personality.
It is not easy to look at students and children realistically, and the hearts of parents and teachers are easily blinded by their own pride and prejudice, just see what he wants to see.
I want my child to study well, listen to parents and teachers, or be superior to others to win.
If it backfires, parents will think that the child is not a tool, or that the child is rebellious.
However, what matters is not whether the child's performance is in line with the parents' expectations, but how the parents find opportunities in the child's performance.
Whether or not you can find the opportunity behind the appearance, this is simply a turning point in heaven and hell, whether the child is excellent in school, or is bored with school and refuses to learn, emotional disorders, fights, closed doors, academic mess, etc.
The key is how to read the child's innermost needs, how to turn decay into magic.
From this point of view, the child's rebellion is an opportunity for the child's growth, the parent's growth and the teacher's growth!
Often listen to parents complain, children into the rebellious period, it is too difficult to manage, it is really a headache, scolding can not be scolded, said and do not listen, what to do in the end?
When I was in elementary school, I began to formally enter the "social model", dealing with teachers, classmates and other outsiders, and the child's self-awareness slowly awakened, often contradicting the parents, trying to challenge the authority of the parents, and unwilling to be managed by the parents.
At this time, the parents' discipline will become impatient accusations in their eyes, resulting in the child's irritable, impulsive, and resistant personality, and there is no sense of fear in the face of life, and it is easy to make extreme actions.
In order to let the children survive the rebellious period, the parents' education methods should also be changed in time.
02 Communication is more effective than command
Children in this period need parents to communicate and appease patiently, listen to their children's opinions, understand their children's views and thinking patterns, and let them speak freely, rather than using their parents' identity and reasoning to suppress him.
Appropriately put down the face and rights of parents, learn to be the child's friend, children at this age most want to prove that they are "little adults", then let the child to prove, let the child's personality be respected.
Like what:
When buying clothes, respect the child's preferences, not what the parent thinks the child should wear;
When applying for interest classes, look at what the child's interest is, not which parents find more useful;
When making choices, listen to your child's opinions, rather than directly helping your child make decisions.
In this period, parents should balance their children and give their children space, not overly constrained, nor blindly relaxed, relaxed, given children space and the right to choose independently, but also let the children know the rules and principles of behavior.
03 Gentle guardian of adolescent rebellion
The rebellion of adolescence is undoubtedly the most headache for parents.
We often hear parents complain about how difficult it is for children during this period to discipline.
"The older the son, the less he can go home, so after saying a few words, he closes the door and thinks we are nagging!"
"My daughter hasn't said anything to us since she was in middle school."
"I got into a fight with my high school kid today and got too angry and hit him, what should I do now?"
More seriously, some children do not learn any tricks, get together to eat, drink and have fun, drink and smoke.
It can be said that teenagers rebel, which most confuses and helplesss parents.
Children at this age, from physical to psychological, have undergone tremendous changes, are easily affected by the environment, and yearn for independence and freedom.
04 Pay attention to the way and means of communication
Adolescent children are most likely to have a rigid relationship with their parents, and they often feel that their parents do not understand them.
In the TV series "Little Parting", Duo Duo has always been obedient and well-behaved, but one day she also began to shout at her parents: "Have you ever respected me?" In your eyes, there is nothing but achievements! ”
In fact, it is not that the love of our parents is wrong, but that we have made a mistake in expression.
Paying too much attention to children's studies and rarely listening to children's inner voices, they gradually close the door of their hearts and naturally refuse to discipline.
Therefore, when the child is in adolescence, it is even more necessary to maintain a good parent-child relationship with him.
Among them, listening is much more important than talking, giving up the condescending interaction mode, asking the child what he thinks, and making sure that the child understands that no matter how old, mom and dad will always be the most trustworthy friends.
05 Reduce control over your child
When they are young, you scold the child and exhaust the authority of the parents, but when the child is older, you will find that you can't cry him, you can't scare him, how to scold him is to bow his head and not speak, and then use his most rebellious way to rebel against you.
During this period, the more high-pressure, the more it rebounded.
There was a netizen, when his son was 16 years old, he said that he wanted to travel with his classmates, which was the son's first long trip, and his wife was very worried, how not to agree, and even quarreled with the child.
However, after listening to it, netizens unexpectedly agreed, and even took the initiative to do strategy with their children.
Someone asked him, "Aren't you worried?" ”
Netizens said: "I'm worried, but I have inquired, the route and the hotel are very safe." It's his own decision, and there's nothing wrong with it, the child is older, what the parents can do is supportive, always in front of him, he can't grow up, and he will resent us for managing too much. ”
Yes, rebellious children, the more you manage, the more disgusting the child becomes.
Under the general principle, listen more to what the child says, respect, understand and support the child from the heart, and reduce the control of the child.
Rebellion is not a mistake, but a sign of growth, parents treat it correctly, cross the past with their children, give children a warm atmosphere and harmonious environment, help children shape a healthy psychology and personality, and believe that children can grow into a towering tree.