The helpless ending of the North Drifter: Drifting herself into a "high-quality leftover woman"

Text/Shadow

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I don't know when it began, there was a north drift, a Shanghai drift and a deep drift among young people.

They left their homeland and went to the metropolis that everyone envied, trying to find a place of their own in that land of every inch of land.

They are pathetic, sad and inspirational.

They are a type of person, but they are not a type of person.

The original intention of going to the big city to work hard

Young people who leave their homes and go to an unfamiliar city often have different original intentions.

01 The ambition of college students

College students often go to big cities to achieve their ideals and ambitions, and maybe after hard work, they find that it is not a place for them to stay, but they have tried it and will not regret it in retrospect.

Young people have ambitions, hope to go far, walk a long way, and realize the value of life with their own hands.

So every year during the graduation season, countless college students flock to the big cities, even if they eat instant noodles and squeeze into small rental houses without complaint.

Because they have a goal in mind, they don't feel tired.

Whatever the outcome, they were in good spirits at that moment.

02 The helpless escape of rural girls

Rural girls are far from home and go to the big cities that everyone envies, often not as everyone thinks.

They are neither to covet the material life of the metropolis nor to realize their ideals and ambitions, but only to escape from the unequal hometown of men and women.

Yes, they fled in the face of their homeland, and this escape was completely out of helplessness.

How difficult it is for rural girls, I believe most people understand.

Rural girls do not have homesteads, they can only be accessories to men.

In this place of complete insecurity, even in a state of duckweed drift, what they endure is more than suffering and unwillingness?

Although it is the 21st century, many rural areas still have a very strong patriarchal mentality, and girls are doomed to encounter various inequalities from birth.

They have to get married at an old age, and if they don't, they don't have a home, because the parents' home is not the daughter's home, but the son's home.

In some families, daughters are not only treated unfairly from an early age, but are also brainwashed by their parents to become tools to support their sons.

Faced with such a situation, many girls are powerless to resist.

Later, they finally waited for the opportunity to resist.

Going to the big city and leaving that place was their only way to resist.

An awkward end to a dilemma

Leave the countryside and come to the big city to live a self-sufficient life.

At first, they were happy because they had finally escaped the cage.

Later, they were worried, because they saw the way other girls lived, and at this time they realized that the fate of the same girl and the same daughter was so different.

So they want to stay in this place, not only for themselves, but also for the next generation, and they don't want their daughters to live their lives again.

But is this place something they can stay if they want to?

01 A metropolis that cannot be integrated

The only way for girls to stay in the metropolis and live a long life is to buy a house here.

Of course, some girls can change their fate by getting married, but only a very small number of them are really successful, because most local in-laws want to find a local daughter-in-law.

A girl, without the help of her original family, can only rely on her own hard work, and it is very difficult to live and work in this city with little land.

They stayed here for many years, trying to fit in, but eventually found that they did not belong here.

Most of their classmates, like college students who come to the big cities to work hard, have endured hardships and faced different pressures.

Many college students have left, and they have never thought about leaving.

02 Hometown that can't go back

Rural girls never wanted to return to their hometowns, because after comparison, they found that living in a rental house was also more relaxed than returning to their own home.

Some girls, even if they live in their parents' homes, have a feeling of being under the fence, which is the most hurtful and deadly.

Witnessing the lives of countless rural women, they did not want to be one of them, so they chose to drift.

They all ran out, so how could they run back?

They can only stand still like this until time passes year after year.

The birth of "quality leftover women" is a helpless ending

Years later, some women finally have a place in the big city through their own efforts, maybe the house is small, but they finally have their own home.

It's something to celebrate, but there are two sides to everything.

For women, career marriages are often a dilemma, especially for girls from rural areas.

They worked so hard that they delayed the age of marriage, and they were in their thirties when they could gain a foothold in the city.

They have become A women in many people, with a house and a car and a good income, but no marriage.

Some people say that a woman can mix like this is already good, what do you want a man to do? In fact, this is just self-deception.

How can a girl who has lacked love since childhood and has never felt warm in her original family not desire family and lover?

It's just that some things are helpless, although they want to get a good match, but fish and bear paws can't have both.

If the idea of son preference does not disappear, the marriage rate will not change

Some people say that the older leftover women are in the city, and the older leftover men are in the countryside, and this sentence is not false at all.

Why do older leftover men stay in the countryside? That's because they know that life in the countryside is more comfortable than in the city, after all, patriarchy is the norm in the countryside.

Why do older leftover women stay in the city? They are fed up with unequal lifestyles and are reluctant to return to that place.

Some experts suggest that older urban women go back to the countryside to marry older men, which is an incomparably absurd proposal, a girl can hardly escape, how can she be willing to go back?

What leads to the extremes of both men and women is not the vanity of women, but the idea of son preference.

Women stay in big cities not because they worship gold, but to live a more dignified life.

Older men and women are like polar bears and Antarctic penguins, they live in different areas, and naturally there is no way to become a couple, so the marriage rate will never rise.

The only way to solve this problem is to let the patriarchal mentality disappear, whether in the big city or in the countryside, sons and daughters can get the same treatment.

Women no longer have to flee, and can stay in their hometown to marry and have children.

I am Shadow, an original author who focuses on the field of emotion.