Wen | Cheats Jun
When I was at home with a baby, I found that more than half of the people in the community with babies were elderly people. Either the child's grandmother, or the child's grandmother. Those only daughters who grew up in the city, married and had babies, in order to avoid the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, specially invited their mothers to help with the children, too much.
It is reasonable to say that the mother helps to take the baby, and any contradictions in the middle are easy to say, and the daily relationship is more relaxed and pleasant. That's what my daughter thought, so I asked my mother to come and help.
But do you know what it's like to be a grandmother with a baby?
◆ The voice of a grandmother: I am depressed with my baby, but I still have to grit my teeth to hold on
This is one of the things I encountered when I was more than two years old, and now that I am in class, I still remember this to this day.
That day I took my children to play in the square where I used to go outside. There were not many people in the square, only a few fitness equipment. I put the baby on the twist machine and overheard a conversation.
To be precise, it was a grandmother who was complaining to her old sister about her troubles with her baby.
What attracted me was the sentence "I should be depressed, but what can I do if I am depressed, and the child must continue to take it."
Older people also use the word "depression," which surprised me and caught my attention. Later, listening to her talk, the gist was to help her daughter with the baby, and her heart was very depressed, but because she was her own daughter-in-law, she was not good at saying anything, and she could only continue to bring it, but it was true that she was unhappy.
To be honest, it was at that moment that I developed empathy with this grandmother. Because, as a young mother, I am full-time with the baby also brought some depression, she as an old man, from her hometown to the city, there are no friends of the same age around, the environment is unfamiliar and every day in the face of children's eating and drinking Lasa, the probability of unhappiness is greater than me.
◆ Grandma help with the baby, where is the point where they are depressed?
The daughter does not feel sorry for her mother, and always has conflicts with herself
Some daughters are spoiled at home, and when they have a child, they call their mothers to take care of their children, because they are dependent on their mothers, and their temper is willful, they will always quarrel with their mothers.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along with each other, because they are strange, they still maintain a kind. But mother and daughter get along, what to say, seemingly straightforward and frank, but also hurtful.
My aunt went to my cousin's house to take care of the children for a while, and said that she really couldn't stand it, and they were both hot tempered, because the children's affairs could be quarreled immediately. Although it is said that today quarrels and tomorrow and tomorrow, but every day can not stand this.
And the cousin is also lazy, thinking that the mother is her own dependence, and the children are all handed over to the mother. Even at night to put the baby to sleep is my aunt.
My aunt blamed my cousin for not knowing how to hurt her mother, and wanted to go many times, but because of the pain of her daughter alone with a baby, she was tired, and she was procrastinating, very entangled.
Mother-in-law and son-in-law are difficult to get along with
It is said that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are difficult to get along with, in fact, there is also this problem between mother-in-law and son-in-law. A grandmother and daughter got along very well, but always had an awkward relationship with the son-in-law.
The son-in-law suspects that the mother-in-law manages more, and thinks that she cannot raise a baby scientifically, and the mother-in-law suspects that the son-in-law is lazy, and when she returns home, she does nothing and throws her hands to the treasurer.
The daughter is distressed by her mother, but she is also a little biased towards her husband, so she always lets her mother accommodate her husband. My mother is not happy, I am a lot older, but also to accommodate him? But looking at the way her daughter is embarrassed, she can only live by.
Of course, the mother helps with the baby, and there are many people who get along harmoniously with their daughters. But why are some grandmothers always aggrieved and depressed?
I think that on the one hand, it has something to do with the attitude of my daughter and son-in-law. If the daughter is spoiled from small to large, she will not easily stand in the position of her mother. The son-in-law's attitude is mostly influenced by his wife.
On the other hand, if the grandmothers are hard-working and selfless, they are too considerate of their daughters and sons-in-law, they do not appreciate the hardships of their own babies, and they cannot understand the old man's efforts.
Therefore, grandmothers who want to improve their situation, one is to communicate more, and when they are uncomfortable, they should directly say to their daughters, don't be bored; the other is to be cruel and arrange a good rest time for themselves (such as weekends and evenings) so that their daughters also have the opportunity to exercise and grow.
【Topic Discussion: Who is in your family with the baby?】 Are you getting along well? 】
Senior nursery, psychological counselor. Understand the parenting and psychology, but also pay attention to the self-growth and family management of baoma, and strive to be the intimate person of mothers.
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