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Don't worry about it anymore, live the moment, cherish the present, and meet someone who is truly right for you.
—— Mu Zi
Text | Muzi Picture | Source network
Joy or sorrow - there I have always been with you
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"Pengshan has no way to go here, and the blue bird is attentive to visit", this is the last sentence in Li Shangyin's "Untitled". Here the legendary Penglai Xianshan and the messenger blue bird of the West Queen Mother are quoted here as a metaphor for love.
Unfortunately, the lover's residence is not far from Penglai Mountain, but it is as far away as the Immortal Mountain. I hope that there is a magical messenger of the blue bird, for him to visit lovers who are in love but cannot be together.
Fate is a book, if you turn it inadvertently, you will miss it, and if you read it too seriously, you will cry. Falling in love and not being able to be together is what people often say about having no reason, which is an unforgettable pain and a regret that cannot be changed.
The story of love and not being together is well known to people, there were Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai in ancient times, and now there are Chen Baiqiang and He Chaoqiong. There are really too many in real life, love and can't help it, full of choking, and the heart has become ashes.
Why can't two people who are clearly in love with each other be together? Let's find out.
01
Pampered and proud
In love, women are prone to make a mistake, that is, the more pampering they get, the more willful they are, and they suspect that men do not love themselves at every turn.
In "Dream of the Red Chamber", everyone is most familiar with Lin Daiyu, lamenting the love between Jia Baoyu and Lin Daiyu, who is grinding and unswerving until death, and regretting her death.
Their tragedy, in addition to being separated by Madame Wang's conspiracy, is also due to Lin Daiyu's pampering and arrogance.
When Jia Mu celebrated Bao Chao's birthday, Shi Xiangyun said the wrong thing, and had a misunderstanding with Aunt Lin and was intimidated. Baoyu quickly escorted Dai Yu to talk to Shi Xiangyun, afraid that she would hate Sister Lin.
Unexpectedly, Dai Yu was suspicious of Bao Yu, and drove away Bao Yu and said, "Don't come for a lifetime, don't talk." "Making Baoyu cry, the two of them are sad.
As long as she is with Baoyu, she will always play a bit of pampering and squeamishness, or satirize or cry. He personally cut the jade spikes woven for Baoyu, and the more they quarreled, the more fierce they became, and often alarmed the old lady.
Baoyu didn't blame her too much, he was very sorry. This sickly and squeamish Lin Daiyu, even if Jia Mu loves him the most, she has to consider a marriage object that is more suitable for the development of the family.
There is a proverb of the Buyi people: "The bird looks after three times and then flies, and the man thinks twice before acting." ”
Willful nonsense, do whatever you want, do not think, the result must be a hundred harms and no benefit, more than worth the loss.
The two people originally loved each other, but they always quarreled because of small things. This is actually consuming love, but also creating opportunities for people with ulterior motives.
If you want a relationship to last, you must cherish each other and grasp the scale of good love.
02
Love too much
They all said: "If the feelings between two people are too warm, it is difficult to last." ”
In the TV series "I want to be good with you", the heroine's love for her boyfriend is almost crazy.
In order to keep her boyfriend, she gave up the opportunity to shoot a scene, preferring to guard her boyfriend at all. In fact, the boyfriend loves her very much, avoids her being sad everywhere, and tries to consider her in everything.
Who knows that the heroine is becoming more and more intense, and sees her boyfriend as the whole of life. Unable to find a boyfriend to call his boss, but also ready to jump off the building, often check text messages, check consumption records, tracking, and even install monitors at home.
Her feelings have also changed because she cares too much about her boyfriend. What is given to the boyfriend is not considerate or surveillance, not warmth is kidnapping, making yourself nervous and losing yourself.
Eventually, the boyfriend couldn't bear it and yelled at her: "This is home, not a prison, I'm not a prisoner!" Then he went away in tears, and there was no news.
There is a saying that the sense of "distance" is a kind of measure, and a bad grasp will scare away your other half, and a good grasp is a glue that promotes feelings.
To love too much is to give the pressure to others and to keep the heartache to yourself. If you love too much, your heart will feel tired. Both people are too tired, no longer have the strength to love each other, love naturally can not last.
03
Off-site misunderstandings
Two people in a long-distance relationship are often not together, and when something happens and often the explanation is not clear, it will be misunderstood.
LingLing and Xiaofeng have been in love for eight years, one in the south and one in the north. The geographical differences did not affect each other, but they broke up because of a phone call.
After graduating from university, Xiaofeng had a hard time finding a job in his hometown, thinking that the salary was good, saving up a few years of money first, or giving his girlfriend a rich bride price.
Two people you and me, every day telephone chat, WeChat message, care for each other, encourage each other, such a day is also plain and sweet.
Once, Xiaofeng temporarily went out to socialize, did not have time to inform Lingling, and accidentally lost his hand, because he drank too much, Xiaofeng was sent home by his colleagues when he was drunk.
Ling Ling, who had not waited for the phone all night, called Xiaofeng. As a result, the woman who found the mobile phone could not contact the owner because the mobile phone was locked, so she took it home and prepared to send it to the police station the next day.
At this time, Lingling's phone called, and the woman picked up the phone and just "fed" it, and the other side hung up. At 11:30 p.m., the phone was answered by a woman, and Lingling's blood suddenly surged upwards, and her brain went blank.
Then, another video was sent over, the woman there because of the washing to prepare for sleep, still wearing pajamas, Ling Ling looked at it is even more five thunder boom, two words, directly turned off the mobile phone, crying all night.
The next day, the mobile phone was returned, Xiaofeng woke up, and no explanation could save Lingling.
Long-distance relationships are not easy, and distrust and misunderstanding are the fuse that cause emotional rifts.
Some people describe long-distance relationships this way: "In fact, there are breakups every day, some people meet and separate every day, and some people stay with each other for thousands of miles, the key is the degree of trust." ”
We all know that love needs to be managed, but the premise of management is communication and trust. Long-distance relationships are often more likely to generate suspicion because of inadequate communication and the distance of space.
"Marriage Redemption" wrote: "Suspicion, as long as it is planted, will be like a wild horse that has lost its reins, galloping all the way, galloping at will, trampling everywhere." ”
Long-distance relationships often escalate to suspicion because of misunderstandings, and once jealousy is out of control. In the end, it can only be staged: you are jealous of my heart, and I am leaving your people.
04
Parents object
There are internal reasons why people who love each other can't be together, but there are also external reasons, such as the separation of family members.
Friends Yu Xuan and his girlfriend, met from junior high school, and later fell in love. Yu Xuan was admitted to the military academy and had a good future.
After the girlfriend graduated from junior high school, the family no longer provided for school, so she came out to work to earn money for her two younger sisters to go to school.
When Yu Xuan brought home his girlfriend who had been in love for ten years and told his family that he was going to marry her as a wife, he was strongly obstructed by his family.
After the mother learned that her girlfriend only had a junior high school education, she firmly opposed it.
Although Yu Xuan tried her best to fight, saying that her girlfriend was very kind and capable, and her character was good, the two were particularly in love.
However, the mother said that one was not the same, and even forced to die, so that Yu Xuan could choose between her and her girlfriend, and Yu Xuan was forced to be separated from his girlfriend under pressure.
Marriages opposed by parents are always difficult to have a satisfactory ending, and even if they are desperately together, they have planted the seeds of contradictions for lovers and relatives.
In the end, most of them responded to the poem: "The peacock flies southeast, and wanders for five miles." "We can only look at each other, we can't stay together."
05
So, people who love each other can't be together, how to face it?
Man, from birth, constantly faces loss. When I was a child, I was robbed of my toys, I broke my favorite pen when I went to school, and even when I grew up, I would accidentally tear my beloved skirt, or I was stolen by a thief to my mobile phone.
Accepting loss is the ability an adult should have. Learn not to be swayed by emotions and deal with problems appropriately.
First of all, don't bother.
Lin Huiyin said: "Many people don't need to see each other again, because they are just passing by, and forgetting is the best memorial we give to each other." ”
Since they can no longer be together, to disturb each other again, you can only affect others and despise yourself. Meet, is it to relive old dreams as lovers? Or cry and cry away? The answer is no.
The two hearts that are already scarred, don't lift the scars again and again, so that they will continue to hurt and will not solve the problem. It is better to give deep blessings and let each other's lives leave the best of each other's lives.
The best way is to put love in the deepest heart and not disturb my last good to you.
The second is to face reality.
Harry. Potter says, "It's no good to dwell on illusory dreams and forget about real life. ”
Sometimes we don't know how to grasp life, we only know what we love and hate, what we can't forget, we all need to face reality, because life has to go on.
After the breakup, each other must work hard to live, live a better life, in order not to waste a love, the other party will not worry, but also to live up to their youth.
Finally, it's about changing yourself.
Change yourself, divert your attention, and maybe the sadness will disappear. At least, the sadness won't be so heavy. The best way to forget about a person is to divert your attention, work well, and improve yourself.
Respect yourself, but also respect the past. It is difficult to come back from past feelings, and the road of life must continue.
To change yourself is to give yourself a chance, but also to give happiness a chance. Life is long and you carry a lot of things. It takes a courage to change in order to lift life back up.
The people who love each other have separated, the drama of the past has come to an end, and the real protagonist of life is himself. Don't worry about it anymore, live the moment, cherish the present, and meet someone who is truly right for you.
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