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In modern society, people often fall into an anxious mood, such as "appearance anxiety", "body anxiety", "academic qualification anxiety" and so on.
Anxiety has also become a common mental state in modern people, why do people fall into anxiety? Psychologists believe that the cause of anxiety in modern people is the process of showing off, they believe that high-level people will never show off three things, and some stupid people will show off everywhere.
Narcissistic personality
There is a concept in psychology called narcissistic personality, which is a type of personality that arises from the superiority of human beings themselves.
Narcissism was coined in 2015 by Harvard professor Craig Malkin, who believes that narcissism is a trait that is pervasive in everyone's psyche.
People will regard themselves as the most special existence in the world because of their inner narcissism, which is also a psychology that is common to human beings all over the world.
People with narcissistic personalities will show their superiority in the crowd, because they have some characteristics that are different from ordinary people, and they don't even need to show off to others to show off.
Their superiority is exposed and does not need to be compared or set off with them. But some people need to gain a sense of superiority through the praise of others and make themselves stand out in group activities.
These people, like ordinary people, don't even have anything to show off, but these people will cover up their shortcomings. I hope to become a superior person in the eyes of others through shaping or packaging.
They only pack and cover up shortcomings, but they themselves do not become the kind of people they want, such people with narcissistic personality disorder.
To put it simply, these people are actually ordinary people, not too outstanding in themselves, and there is no advantage, but these people hope that they can have a tall image in the eyes of others, so they will package themselves in some ways and show their uniqueness to others.
And people with really high levels will not show off their superiority. And those who are used to showing off and showing off are even lower-level, they are in a state of narcissism.
In group social activities, you need to show yourself to get better social connections, and you have also developed a certain amount.
For example, when applying for a job, you can confidently and generously show your strengths and strengths, so that the interviewer has a clear understanding of himself.
Such a presentation is not identified as narcissism and ostentation, but rather an effort to present oneself normally and to make the interviewer aware of his suitability to the job. The lower the level, the more people like to show off these 3 "things", thinking that they are very advanced, but they are actually very cheap
1. Connections
Many people try to make friends with the idea of having more friends and going a good way, but what they don't know is that only if they are good enough can they build better relationships.
If you don't show off your relationship regardless of the occasion and time, you may cause your interpersonal relationship to hit a wall, and the benefits brought by interpersonal relationships will disappear.
This is also the application of the focus effect in psychology in the workplace, that is, people often overestimate the attention they receive in the workplace and make a series of wrong decisions.
Therefore, when you are not strong and excellent, you must not show off your connections, because such inappropriate showing off will make yourself suffer huge losses, and even destroy your interpersonal network.
2. Status
There was an old saying that "people are afraid of being famous and pigs are afraid of being strong", which means this. Even if you are very good and occupy an important position in the group, don't say these things, or say how important you are in a showy tone.
Because in any group, not one person can do all the tasks well, and every good team needs leaders to work with all the people to complete it.
3. Excellent living conditions
The living conditions of people in modern society have been greatly improved, and many people have a lot of wealth and live a good life.
But it also leads to many people constantly showing off because of vanity, which is also the unconscious behavior of many people. They hope to gain a sense of superiority in the group by showing off their lives in this way.
But they don't know that their ostentation will cause them trouble, because few of these people can really be happy for themselves, and most of them are still jealous.
We can think about it in a different way, and if the other person shows off their inner feelings like this, we know that such a show off will not bring any benefit at all.
It will even cause the other party's disgust and lead to a worse relationship with each other, so there is no need to publicize their own good life and obtain the so-called sense of superiority.
If the level gap between the two sides is relatively large, there will be a feeling of envy or admiration because of some of the conditions of the other party. If you show off when both sides are at the same level, it will cause the other party to resent and envy.
So don't use your connections, status and good life as a tool for your own ostentation, so that it will not bring any benefits to yourself, and may cause certain losses of interests.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205