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It is understandable that people take detours when they are young, because at that time, their experience is still shallow, and it is not necessarily a bad thing to suffer some losses, but it will help a person grow better and faster.
But in middle age, if you still keep taking detours, there are more or less some reasons of your own. Because at this time you have gone through half a life, you should become mature and rational, and fall in the same place twice, or even many times, not what a mature person should be.
Each of us, at a young age, likes to passionately proclaim ourselves to be ourselves.
But after middle age, people find that whether it is working or going to relatives and making friends, there is an invisible rule, that is, to treat people in the world. We have been in contact with life for a long time, and the accumulated experience in the world has become more and more mature, and we have become more and more aware of the importance of popularity and connections.
There was a long time when the word "network" was particularly popular, all kinds of marketing numbers hyped up the power of networking, some people said that networking is money, some people said that networking is the backdoor, and then jumped out to tell you the so-called superb skills and experience, but can those things really be easily mastered?
Not to mention how different the individual is, can assembly line communication really make you feel good in life? The answer, of course, is no.
But one thing is certain, no matter whether the network is wide or not, as long as the popularity is good enough, life will be more smooth. On the contrary, if a person reaches the age of forty, enters middle age, and still likes to do the following things, it can be seen that it is difficult to have a big appearance.
One: Obsessed with comparison and showing off, vanity is too strong
Some people, even in middle age, still do not understand that the world is their own and have nothing to do with others. They always live in the eyes and evaluations of others, thinking that others think that it is really good, and they don't know what they want.
They are obsessed with comparison and showing off, just trying to satisfy their vanity.
In fact, such people have always liked to deceive themselves. They think that winning others is really successful, but they don't know that life is like people drinking water, cold and warm self-knowledge. Just like you care more about yourself, others don't have so much time to care about you, so why brush up on your own sense of existence.
Two: unrealistic, there are always too many unrealistic desires
Sometimes, the reason why we are unhappy is not because we don't have enough, but because even if we have more, we don't know how to be satisfied.
When you feel that your shoes are not good enough, some people do not have feet at all, if a person does not know how to be satisfied, does not know how to cherish what he has, then even if the conditions are good, he still cannot feel any happiness, because he does not have the ability to make himself happy.
If a person reaches middle age, still does not know how to be satisfied, and still has a lot of unrealistic desires, then it will only disrupt the rhythm of their own lives, and even in the end, the end of the road.
Three: Like self-praise, there is no clear understanding of the self
People who like tout themselves often have aggressive and performative personality disorder, and they use the way they praise themselves, always sending a message: You are not as good as me.
With a false sense of superiority, suppress the people around you.
In fact, everyone will have a sense of superiority, look good than others, will produce a sense of superiority; promote faster than others, will produce a sense of superiority; richer than others, will produce a sense of superiority.
Austrian psychologist Adler believes that the overall goal of man is to pursue superiority, to get rid of inferiority in order to obtain superiority, from which it can be concluded that the appropriate sense of superiority is well-intentioned, and people will build self-confidence by chewing on the happiness it brings.
In daily life, most people will subconsciously restrain their sense of superiority in interpersonal communication in order to empathize with most people and achieve social purposes.
The old saying that wealth is not exposed is this truth - whether it is wealth or wisdom, if it is often revealed, it is bound to attract the jealousy of others, which will bring unnecessary trouble.
And people who like to brag about themselves need this jealousy, no matter what the occasion, they will express their own high opinions, a few words can not be separated from "I", an experienced look.
Sometimes in order to support their own views, they also have to talk about it, and even show their pride by moving out other people's troubles.
The purpose of their superiority is not to build self-confidence, but to show off, belittle, denigrate, and suppress others, so this sense of superiority is mostly mixed with performance components, which is what we often say: the more nothing, the more it shows something.
Humans are social animals, and no one really wants to be alone for many years, so it is important and necessary to deal with human relations.
But social rules, whether it is the accumulation of connections, their meaning is never to let life hang on, nor to seek advantages and avoid harms, but to maximize their own achievements - under the premise of considering others, let themselves live as well as possible.
If you have entered middle age at this time, then do as little as possible about the above three things to avoid detours and dislike.
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