The 3 behaviors of parents are destroying the child's sense of security, parents should pay attention
preface:
When it comes to the word of security, I believe that everyone has a deep understanding,
But many people are still very confused about what a sense of security is.
In fact, research shows that a sense of security is a psychological need,
If the people around us can give us a sense of security, we will feel incomparably warm,
In fact, each of our security comes from our parents since childhood.
However, some of the parents' behaviors are destroying the child's sense of security, which leads to the child's personality distortion to extremes.
Even many children are influenced by their parents and are difficult to let go of for a lifetime.
In the eyes of the older generation, as long as the child eats well and sleeps well, he has already fulfilled the duty of parenthood.
This concept can be said to be very wrong, and it will also have a more serious psychological impact on children.
As adults, we act like we are in trouble when dealing with relationships and emotional situations.
It is rare to have a sense of trust in interpersonal communication, and often show self-doubt.
In fact, this negative emotion has a certain relationship with our family when we were young.
As a parent, you should know that accompanying your child to bring a sense of security to your child will make your child grow up, which is very happy.
If a child is always taken care of by the elderly when he is a child,
As a parent, it is rare to go home for a year so that the child does not have time to be close to the parents.
Slowly it will cause a sense of insecurity that can be affected. Therefore, the matter of taking care of children and educating children still requires parents to come personally.
After all, children's habits will be infected and guided by their parents, and the elderly will only blindly get used to children.
1. Cheating on children
Many parents will find that their children have the habit of lying from an early age, which makes many parents and parents very distressed.
In the face of children lying, many parents will choose to educate well to guide correctly.
But they don't reflect on whether they have lied in front of their children,
In fact, parents are the best mirror for children, and how you do your children will learn how you do.
So when there are many vices in children, the first thing parents think of is to reflect on themselves.
Parents must be honest with their children, and their children will get a sense of security and love around their parents.
2. Let the child feel abandoned
Many parents will say to their children when they are disobedient: "If you disobey again, I will not want you." ”
I believe that many parents have said this sentence, and the harm caused by this sentence to their children cannot be measured in their hearts.
Children often hear their parents say this, and their personality will become very timid and introverted.
Because in their young hearts, they are really afraid to worry about their parents not wanting themselves,
Going this way for a long time will cause fear and stress in the heart.
So the child will also become very mature in front of the parents without crying or making trouble,
Because when children are young, it is difficult to distinguish whether the words of adults are true or false.
This kind of talk is also a kind of harm to the child's ruthlessness.
So if you want your child to feel safe, don't hurt them with this language.
3. The relationship between husband and wife is not compatible
Parental relations are not harmonious, marriages are not happy, and children are often the first to feel.
Parents' unintentional actions in many cases will bring psychological pressure and harm to children.
Parents always quarrel, which is a nightmare for children, because children worry that their parents will be separated and the family will break up.
The character of a child who has been caught between his parents in this tense atmosphere for a long time will become distorted.
For a long time, women's care and love are not felt in life.
4. The child is not around the parents, and the caregiver is unstable
Many parents are always unable to accompany their children because of work reasons or family reasons.
At this time, it will be handed over to their parents to help with the children.
However, many people have overlooked that what children want most when they are young is the company of their parents.
If the caregiver is unstable, the child will be insecure, and it is difficult for these parents not to make up for it in the future.
From birth, the mother's warmth and embrace can quickly soothe the child,
Mom and Dad are around, and it is also an important source of children's sense of security.
Therefore, parents try to bring their own before the child is three years old.
Conclusion:
Children's hearts are actually very simple, so when they are young, parents must give them care and love.
A sense of security is also related to the happiness of a child's life, a person with a sense of security, he must be both warm and dazzling.
On the contrary, those children who are destroyed by their sense of security will be very dark and negative inside.
If parents don't care about this matter, they will bury their children's lives with their own hands.
END.
Today's Topic:
What behaviors are parents destroying their child's sense of security?
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References | Journal of consulting and clinical psychology