Hello everyone, I'm Pinocchio Mom!
The school, which should have been an ivory tower for children to learn away from adult society and carefree learning, should have only the laughter and reading aloud of children. But in fact, this ivory tower is a "small society" in which bullied and bullied children abound.
According to the public perception survey data report "Seeing School Bullying", more than 50% of the more than 36,000 people who participated in the survey have experienced campus bullying.
School bullying, like every snowflake in an avalanche, no innocents! The survey in "Seeing School Bullying" learned that some of the bullied people will completely give up their studies, and few can truly achieve "no impact and no harm".
01 He beat me, I got my hands back, I was sentenced to 8 years
Some time ago, Pino's mother saw a "blood-boiling" hot search on the Internet: stabbing the bully to death and taking a diploma in criminal law in prison.
Just over 10 words touched the most sensitive, helpless and angry crux of parents' hearts.
The protagonist of the hot search is named Chen Sihan, many years ago, he was in line in the school canteen to eat, was stepped on by a male classmate.
Chen Sihan looked at the male classmate and did not apologize, he said: "You just stepped on me";
"I just like to step on it", the male classmate replied;
Chen Sihan was angry, so the two had a verbal altercation and had a fight. As a result, after the class that day, the other party called a group of classmates and pulled Chen Sihan to the stairs to beat and insult...
Chen Sihan knew that if he conceded defeat or told the teacher at this time, he would be bullied frequently in the future. Therefore, he did not tell the teacher and his parents, but chose to endure.
Unexpectedly, after school that day, the other party shouted a bunch of bullies, dragged Chen Sihan out of the school, pulled him to an unmonitored alley, and forced him to apologize, otherwise he would kick him every 10 seconds.
The bully even threatened, we will "single-handedly" and decide whether to win or lose.
Later, a bunch of people surrounded Chen Sihan and beat him, and Chen Sihan was beaten so badly and panicked that he took a knife from the hands of his onlookers in confusion.
The bully saw the situation and directly gave Chen Sihan a knife in the back, at the same time, Chen Sihan also raised his knife with both hands and stabbed the other party's chest, and then fainted.
When he woke up, he learned that the bully had died. After the incident, Chen Sihan's parents compensated the other party for 110,000 yuan, and after the students' joint request for a light sentence, the case was tried for half a year, and Chen Sihan, who was only 15 years old, was sentenced to 8 years in prison.
Children of 023 kinds of families are prone to school bullying
After reading this hot search, Pino's mother could not calm down for a long time, so she shared this hot search with her friends group and asked the teachers and friends in the group: At school, which families' children are easy to be bullied? We are good in our daily lives, more guidance to help children.
A homeroom teacher friend said that a comprehensive analysis of each bullying incident will find that almost all the children who are bullied come from these types of families:
Children are bullied, and parents always say "it's okay"
Inspired by her homeroom friend, Pino's mother remembered that when she was studying, she was often bullied by her classmates because of her short stature.
Once, the same table wanted to copy homework, I refused, the result of the same table directly grabbed, did not grab the fight.
Finally, the teacher knew, notified both parents to come to school, after seeing my mother, I first cried, and then rolled up my sleeves, revealing my arm that was scratched and bleeding from the same table, hoping that my mother could help me get justice.
But who knows, after my mother took a look, she heard the other party say that she wanted to compensate for the medical expenses, and then said: "A little injury, it doesn't matter."
Seeing my mother's attitude, I was immediately extremely aggrieved and disappointed in my mother, and her sentence "It doesn't matter" was like a basin of cold water, which completely extinguished my expectations and desires. Since then, I have only reported good news to my parents, never to worry.
A child who only reports good news and no worries to his parents is easily the target of a bully at school.
"Flies don't sting seamless eggs", parents always look for reasons from their own babies
When children are bullied, some parents always feel that it is their children's fault, and in the face of their children's cries, their habitual reaction is:
"Did you do something wrong?" Otherwise, why don't people beat you without hitting others, and flies don't bite seamless eggs; besides, you are not hurt, just hit a few times, cry and cry what to do."
When the child is bullied, it is his weakest and most helpless time, at this time he asks his parents for help, does not say that he has not received help, and has been humiliated. After that, no matter how much they have been wronged, most of them will endure alone, and when it becomes a habit, the bully will be more unscrupulous, and the child will be bullied.
In the face of children's help, parents habitually ignore it
When the popular actor Ma Sichun confessed in the show: when he was studying, he was often bullied and squeezed in school, and he was often added with rag water, chalk ash, mop water in the Coke Cup... She was ridiculed by her classmates as a "fat person", which caused her personality to become very sensitive.
When she told her parents about these things many times, they said: "Ignore them, you have to try to prove yourself, you have to live better than him."
Her parents' words were very light, but for Ma Sichun at that time, it was like a shackle, which made her deeply immersed in self-doubt and unable to walk out for a long time.
When a child is bullied and asks his parents for help without success, he will only swallow his anger and become the target of bullying.
03
In school, children inevitably have conflicts with classmates, and when children are bullied, what parents have to do is to be a safe haven for children and tell children specific solutions, not bad evaluators. Like what:
When a child is bullied, should he fight back bravely, or endure in silence?
When a child is excluded, is it actively integrated, or is it flattering?
When a child is rumored, should he remain silent, or should he prove his innocence?
Parents need to teach their children how to deal with it in advance, so that the bully knows that he is "not good" at the first time. After all, in this world, children have no one to rely on except their parents, and parents must also be as good a safe haven for their children as much as possible.