Hello everyone, I'm Pinocchio Mom!
Some time ago, the Internet also launched such a topic: Who is your family with children?
The topic attracted 2241 people to participate in the vote, of which 983 people voted for the "grandmother belt", accounting for 43.9%, which shows that the grandmother has become the main force of Chinese families with babies.
Pino's mother's family is no exception, from the birth of her daughter, she has always been a grandmother. When her daughter was a child, she was also very close to her grandmother, and she loved her the most when she opened her mouth, which made her very happy.
However, this little girl who "loves her grandmother the most" in her mouth, as she grows older, she does not like to go to her grandmother's house for the New Year. To this end, the husband has counted down his daughter many times, and he has complained that his daughter is a "white-eyed wolf".
01, children do not like to go to their grandmother's house for the New Year, the reason behind it is very realistic
"That's not my home, it's my brother's home."
Looking at her angry husband, Pino's mother dragged her daughter into the bedroom and tentatively asked: "Grandma likes you so much, why don't you want to go to Grandma's house?" ”
"I also like my grandmother, but I don't like my brother, he said it was his home, not my home," the daughter said angrily.
My daughter's words actually touched me deeply! Every time I go to my grandmother's house, Pino's mother is also uncomfortable.
The reason why my daughter said this is because last year's New Year, several children were playing with color-cutting paper, and my daughter cut it relatively fast, and after cutting, she took a piece of colored paper from her brother.
After being discovered by his brother, his brother shouted loudly: "You don't take my colored paper without my consent, this is stealing, you are a thief";
Then the daughter cried and said, "I am not a thief..."; at this time, Pino's mother came to comfort her daughter, and the brother-in-law also made the son and sister apologize;
Unexpectedly, the little nephew not only did not apologize, but also shouted: "This is my home, not his home, without my consent, take my things, or steal";
Hearing the little nephew's words, Pino's mother's psychology is also very unpleasant, although the fairy tale is unscrupulous, but people are also right, this is indeed not their own home. Although the daughter was small, she understood it, ran to the bedroom, picked up her backpack, and dragged me back to her home.
It may be precisely because of this incident that the daughter has a sense of restraint on the grandmother's family, although she likes her grandmother, but because of her brother, she does not want to go back to her grandmother's house.
"I don't like shows"
During the New Year, relatives and friends gather together, and some children are often forced to "open business" by their parents and relatives.
The daughter herself is quiet and introverted, so she does not like to perform in public, while the relatives of the grandmother's family, out of liking, always like to let the daughter sing, recite poetry or dance.
Although the daughter is sometimes unwilling, she will still twist and squeeze the performance due to her mother's "coercion and inducement", which is also a reason why she does not like to go to her grandmother's house.
Some time ago, when Pinocchio's mother watched "Mars Intelligence Agency", there was a topic of topic: children who were forced to perform in front of their parents, how did they grow up.
In the show, a number of hosts revealed that they had been forced to perform, and bluntly said: from childhood to adulthood, parents and relatives would force performances every year, and they did not like such performances.
According to relevant surveys, 89% of children have been asked by their parents and relatives to perform programs during the New Year. They said they were reluctant to perform, and the older they got, the more obvious the reluctance became.
It can be seen that this is also the reason why many children are more and more reluctant to go to their grandmother's house, which is very realistic and helpless.
"I don't like to be compared"
During the Chinese New Year, when rare relatives get together, they will inevitably be asked: "How much do you pay?" How many year-end bonuses are there? ”
He will even be nagged by his parents: "You see the son of the old Wang family next door, he is about the same age as you, and everyone has tens of thousands of year-end awards." ”
Whenever she heard such remarks, Pino's mother felt that her face was hot at the same time, and she was very frustrated, far inferior to others. To avoid this embarrassing scene, I don't even want to go home.
In fact, it is the same for children, returning to grandma's house in the New Year, it is inevitable to be asked: "How many points have you scored?" How many in the class? ”
For children with good grades, it may be nothing; but for children with poor grades, it is inevitable to be complained by their parents, and perhaps casual words may cause harm to children, and serious cases may also sow the seeds of inferiority in psychology.
Child development psychology research has found that in primary school and below, children's self-esteem is very fragile, they care about what kind of person they are in the eyes of others, and it is easy to affirm or deny themselves because of a word from others.
Therefore, Pino's mother advised parents not to always compare their children with other people's babies during the New Year. Every child has their own flash, parents should be good at discovery, while paying attention to and protecting the child's self-esteem, after all, it is easy to lose self-esteem, and rebuilding self-esteem is much more difficult.
In addition, Pino's mother feels that the child is more and more reluctant to return to the grandmother's house, and it may be that when the grandmother takes care of the child, although she has some experience, in the process of care, it is inevitable to beat and scold, so the child's impression of the grandmother is not particularly good. Therefore, I did not want to go back to my grandmother's house.
02, the child is not willing to go back to the grandmother's house, what should the parents do?
Pino's mother suggests that parents who have the same troubles, first of all, do not blame the child, after all, these reasons are also very realistic, you can first calmly communicate with the child, find the right reason, and then solve it in a targeted manner.
Here, Pino's mother shared with you a few effective methods, which have been practiced many times in her daughter, which are very effective;
Shunten touches the melon, communicates with the child in depth, finds the reason why the child is reluctant to return to her grandmother's house, and helps her open the knot;
Promise your daughter that after going to her grandmother's house, her parents will not force her to perform the show and will prevent others from asking about her grades;
If the daughter is willing to go back to her grandmother's house and make her happy, her parents will give her corresponding rewards when she returns home;
Although the twisted melon is not sweet, for preschool children, after forcing her to take her back to her grandmother's house, after having fun, maybe they will play this thing;
Parents learn to show weakness to their children and seek help, and maybe the children are willing to cooperate. The wife will say to her daughter every time: "Baby, you like to stay with your mother in the New Year, right; then, your mother also wants to stay with your mother's mother, and your mother has not seen your grandmother for a long time, can you help your mother realize this wish?" ”
Every time the daughter listened, she would agree to go back to her grandmother's house.
All in all, the above 5 tricks are very practical for my daughter! If you have tried all kinds of methods and the child still does not want to go back to the grandmother's house, then don't force it.
Interactive topic: Do your children like to go back to their grandmother's house?