After marriage, many men and women complain that the other half has changed, which is completely different from the person who made him deeply loved before marriage, and his married life is not happy, and blames all this on the fault of the other party.
The feelings before marriage are so good, I can't imagine that after marriage, I will become a chicken feather, what is wrong?
What can be the reason, is nothing more than not realizing that love and marriage are two different things, but after marriage, in the name of love to ask for married life, resulting in passion and dull conflict, unable to communicate with each other to solve problems, the cracks in marriage are becoming more and more unable to bridge.
The maintenance of marriage is not enough by love alone, it is extremely easy to break with the dilution of love.
In terms of mate selection, most women are mainly emotional, believing that if two people have good feelings, marriage will be happy. Men are more aware of the art of trade-offs, and can make the choice that the person they love and the wife they want to marry are two different things, so as to make the most favorable choice for themselves.
However, love, like marriage, is a long, stable and exclusive relationship.
Men and women with good feelings before marriage, if they maintain a bad marital relationship, then the previous feelings will be consumed by the contradictions after marriage, and the other party will make you feel slack, resist and continue the relationship with the other party, contradictions abound, and marriage will become a shackle that imprisons each other.
When you fall in love with someone, you think that he is perfect in every way, it is simply a partner tailored for you, but after marriage you will find the real other party, living under the same roof he is not as perfect as you think, or he is not the person you want at all, and finally you realize that you seem to love the wrong person.
Feelings will deteriorate, and no matter how good the feelings after marriage, they also need to be managed after marriage.
In fact, men who have a good relationship before marriage will be disliked by the other party if they do one less thing after marriage.
People who stop growing will be rejected by those who have been growing.
In marriage, men and women have to assume their roles, which is not the same as the pre-marital love relationship, if you still take the state of singlehood before marriage to maintain marriage, the contradictions between each other will definitely increase.
After marriage, some women feel that men should support themselves and children because they have children, clean up the housework at home and dislike men who have no ability, want to lose their temper when there is nothing to do, and want men to treat themselves as princess pets, but they do not know that the man who has been growing up is not the original person who loves himself deeply.
Of course, if a man stops growing up and only knows how to settle for the status quo, his wife is also satisfied with the status quo, then the marriage can still be maintained. The most feared is that women have been growing, men only know to cook men at home, at the beginning of getting along, love can also make each other safe in the case of contradictions, but women grow to a certain extent, she will still dislike men can not give her what she thinks.
Marriage is a team win-win situation, husband and wife are teammates, only by moving forward hand in hand can we reach the other side of happiness at the fastest speed.
However, as long as one of the parties stops growing, it is easy to be regarded as a "burden" by the party that has been growing, and he may initially wait for you to catch up with him out of love, but when you keep asking him to stop and wait for you, he will inevitably dislike you and affect his growth rate and everything he wants to have.
People who stop growing up do not have the strength and confidence to "compete" with each other in marriage.
Men and women in marriage are equal, but as long as one of them stops growing up and lives a life of relying on the other's sniffles, it is inevitable that they will be weak in heart and unconsciously make up for it in other places.
In married life, it is common for people who have been making money to support their families to have absolute right to speak and make decisions, while those who rely on him to live can only choose to "obey", even if they are dissatisfied, they do not have the courage and strength to fight for the rights they should have.
It is more common for men to blatantly betray their wives and not be afraid that their wives will know because he knows that he does not have the ability to leave him, and even if he hurts her, he will not have to pay any price.
Behind the decision that men dare to do this kind of behavior of hurting their wives is that the wives have given up their own growth, have no economic status, and lose their confidence and strength.
If the wife does not stop growing and has the ability to make money, the man does not dare to underestimate, because the wife has the strength to "compete" with him, and he has to weigh the gains and losses before making a decision.
A person who stops growing is easy to become a "waste" in the eyes of the other party, and it is a certain thing to be disliked.
People who stop growing up are likely to become people who are rejected and abandoned.
Two people entering the marriage hand in hand, at least initially all aspects of the conditions are very desirable to each other, and the feelings can naturally be justified.
However, with the difference in the growth rate (or one of the parties stops growing), the gap between the two people will widen, and the person who walks in front will become a better person, meet better scenery and people, and inevitably feel disgusted with the other half who has stopped growing.
Love only accounts for a part of the maintenance of marriage, and the binding of interests requires mutual progress and hand-in-hand, as long as one of them stops growing, it will become the person that the other party will abandon sooner or later.
The maintenance of marriage requires division of labor and cooperation, no matter what kind of division of labor model, only the contribution of both parties to the family can increase happiness, thereby enhancing the feelings of husband and wife.
Conversely, if you stop growing, the difference in their contribution to the family will lead to an imbalance in the relationship, it is difficult to get along as equals, there is a lack of respect, and it is easier to separate.
Men and women with good feelings before marriage must grow together in marriage management, and it is best to nourish each other and achieve each other, rather than living on love alone.
Married life needs an economic foundation, and most of the marriage problems are actually economic problems.
While growing up, we must have the ability to make money, so that we have the strength and confidence to stand in the same position as each other, and win each other's respect and love.
Everyone wants to be recognized by their lover, and if they want to be recognized, they must let themselves grow, please themselves first, in order to give each other love and become partners who work together for a lifetime.
Van Gogh said: "Everyone has a fire in their heart, but those who pass by can only see smoke." ”
What kind of life you want, after all, you still have to rely on your own efforts, work hard to grow, work hard to operate, and finally get what you want!
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