Xu Jikai, nicknamed Ah Huan, was born in 1918, his mother Zhang Youyi, his father is the famous crescent poet Xu Zhimo, Xu Jikai is the only son of several generations of the Xu family, so his grandfather has extremely high expectations of him, when he just turned 100 years old, his grandfather could not wait to let him catch casting lots (Chinese tradition is that children are one year old to catch casting lots), grandfather let people prepare a ruler, abacus, copper coins and a pen in front of him, and finally he grabbed the pen that his grandfather Xu Shenru most longed forward to, and his grandfather praised him repeatedly: "Another reader!" Our grandson will have to use an iron pen in the future! ”
I hope that my grandson will "learn and excel" in the future! Its name "Kai" means "good iron", which reflects the meaning of "iron pen". However, as an adult, Xu Jikai embarked on the opposite path, entering Jiaotong University after graduating from high school to study civil engineering, and in 1947 studied economics and civil engineering at Columbia University and New York University of Science and Technology, first as a civil engineer, and then into business, and never had a career with pen and ink. The reason for this is that I feel that it is not unrelated to Xu Jikai's parents.
Since ancient times, China "heavy agriculture and suppress business", especially after the Song Dynasty, the literati ruled the country, the imperial court vigorously promoted the examination system, and the reading people were more prosperous, whether it was the common people or the merchants and merchants with surplus wealth, they all wanted their descendants to improve the social status of their families through reading, even if the final descendants did not achieve the purpose of becoming officials, but as long as they were readers with a slight meritorious name, they were very respected in society.
Gu YouFan Jinzhong cited the difference in the attitude of his father-in-law Zhang Butcher, and recently there was Xu Jikai's father Xu Zhimo, although Xu Zhimo did not enter the world through poetry, but his social status was also extremely respected, coupled with the fact that the official government at that time "did not change the iron pen", so Xu Jikai's grandfather was also difficult to jump out of the historical limitations, he wanted his grandson Xu Jikai to continue to study all the way, hoping that he could achieve a higher social status for the family.
Xu Zhimo
Although history does not assume, if Xu Jikai can be influenced by his father Xu Zhimo from an early age, he may really be able to embark on the road of learning excellence, after all, the ancient Sansu, Sanban, Sancao, Sanyuan, and Sanxi father and son are all models! But Xu Zhimo is not an ordinary poet, he is a romantic poet, although he lives in the world, but in thought and behavior is indeed beyond the world, just like the "poetry immortal" Li Bai, the Northern Song Dynasty gentle poet Qin Guan, Liu Yong, his creation needs a source, his life needs a source, and such a source must have such a literary talent such as Lin Huiyin, Lu Xiaoman, and other literary talents, romantic and amorous women can match it.
Zhang Youyi
And Zhang Youyi does not say that the combination with Xu Zhimo is the order of the parents of the feudal family, that is, she later received a Western education, but her own rigorous personality characteristics are also incompatible with the romantic and amorous demanded by Xu Zhimo, so they can only be dull and boring together, not for a long time. Although Xu Zhimo was with Lu Xiaoman when he died, it can also be seen that he was also caught in the contradiction and dilemma of worldly money and self-pursuit, and there was no flight opportunity, and he probably did not know how far he could go with Lu Xiaoman.
Even if the son Xu Jikai did not have much contact with his father Xu Zhimo, but after all, he was related by blood and heard about it, and he may have also complained about his father, and it may be precisely because of this that Xu Jikai did not embark on the road of reading and did not want to follow in his father's footsteps. But with the passage of time and the accumulation of years, Xu Jikai read his father's birth and freedom, although he will not follow his approach, but he can forgive an amorous and romantic poet, the reason why he will say
"I think my father's life is too bitter!" "If my father did not die and lived to be eighty or ninety years old, I believe that there would still be women who wanted him." "Many women admire their father's literary style."
And so on, maybe that's exactly what it is.
Zhang Youyi, born in Zhangjia, Jiangsu Province, the family had a higher political and economic status than the Xu family in the society at that time, the Zhang family was not stubborn and conservative, the second brother Zhang Junjie studied in Both China and the West, the leader of the Chinese Democratic Socialist Party, the fourth brother Zhang Jiaxuan was a famous banker, and the elder brother Zhang Xinhai was a famous diplomat.
Although Zhang Youyi's father preferred sons to daughters, fortunately, in the three years before marriage under the struggle of several brothers, she studied at the "Jiangsu Provincial Second Girls' Normal School" and received advanced education, so although Zhang Youyi may be a bit obedient like Chinese feudal women before marriage, she is by no means a slag of the soil. She was convinced of her brothers' words, before marriage she would often listen to her brothers talk about how they liked Xu Zhimo's literary style, and she would also quietly imagine how her husband would shine in the middle of the night, and she must also look forward to her husband's liking like an ordinary little woman, having children for her husband, and presiding over the housework...
But in fact, this was the wrong beginning, from the beginning of her promise of the marriage. Even if Zhang Youyi has talent, in Xu Zhimo's place is the soil, that is, there is no new thinking, so she can only be Xu Zhimo's tool to make friends with his parents' feudal family, not to mention that she is indeed inferior to Lin Huiyin, on the charm of romance, she is not as good as Lu Xiaoman, although she is gentle but too rational to make Xu Zhimo think of the spring, as Lin Huiyin said to his children later:
"Xu Zhimo's original love was not the real me, but the Lin Huiyin he imagined with the romantic emotions of a poet, and in fact I was not that kind of person."
Therefore, Xu Zhimo could not go on with Zhang Youyi for a long time no matter what. Zhang Youyi, a new mother and a new woman, did not understand, she did not understand when she divorced Xu Zhimo in London, when she divorced Xu Zhimo, it was not entirely for the sake of fulfillment, to know that although she was weak, there was a pride in her bones, she did not allow Xu Zhimo to insult her so repeatedly, although the divorce she was very painful but she could not stand Xu Zhimo's torture on her soul, Xu Zhimo's heart for divorce could not take into account that she was pregnant with Liujia, and even disregarded the fatal harm to her if she miscarriage!
Mengziyun: The heavens will descend on the Si people, and they will first suffer their hearts... Acting disrupts what it does, so be patient and gain what it can't!
Is this the inconvenience of Zhang Youyi's encounter abroad? First abandoned by her husband, and then painfully lost her young son, fortunately, the rigorous style of the Germans coincided with Zhang Youyi's personality quality, which made her life enter a new stage, and also made her business talent shine and become a famous manager.
When her life experience is more and more, when the social level she is exposed to is more and more abundant, the good nature of her nature began to understand many people, began to understand the ex-husband Xu Zhimo as a poet's detachment and uninhibited, he could not become a qualified husband, understood Zhang Youyi chose to forgive, her forgiveness reflected thoroughly:
She provides for Xu Zhimo's filial piety, because their son Xu Zhimo will not be willing to be entangled in household chores;
She helped Xu Zhimo to publish poems and become a romantic poet;
After Xu Zhimo's death, she often sent living allowances to Lu Xiaoman, who had lost his source of livelihood, because Lu Xiaoman was just the inspiration for Xu Zhimo's creation...
When she has these big patterns, she becomes a big woman, she understands everyone, tolerates everyone, treats everyone kindly, and she continues this tolerance to her son Xu Jikai.
In 1925, after Zhang Youyi returned to China, she began to take her young son Xu Jikai to her side for personal upbringing, and for a long time, Zhang Youyi was ashamed of her son, and put all her energy into the upbringing of her son, although she did not say it explicitly, but her words and deeds taught her son tolerance, generosity, let her son learn to respect, respect everyone's life trajectory, respect the different life characteristics of each type of person, so that he understood that his father Xu Zhimo was a romantic poet, so his life should be so free!
She respects everything, including her son's choice, and she does not interfere in her son's marriage choice, and finally he marries the beauty Zhang Puwen; she wants to start a marriage again, and she must first respect her son's opinion... Xu Jikai is like a mother, he completely absorbs his mother's generosity, and his mother wants to remarry, and he sincerely hopes that "if the mother is a man, the son will ask the father to do things." "Could there be more mothers and children in the world who were so understanding at that time?" I'm afraid not much!
Xu Jikai, who inherited his mother's rationality and kindness, naturally could not do the appearance of his father Xu Zhimo, and it was even more difficult for him to embark on the path of learning from youzeshi in modern China, which was turbulent at that time.
Therefore, parents are the first teachers of children, but also the most important guide, parents must pay attention to the education of their children, especially by words and deeds. How unfortunate it is to be a son to a poet, and the father only cares about his own divine wounds; how fortunate is Xu Jikai to meet such a mother who is deeply aware and generous!
Text/Pillow Cat