Source: Ten Point Reading (ID: duhaoshu)
The famous American psychologist Daniel Gorman once said:
"The temperature of a family is always controlled by women."
Women who are happily married often do not meet good husbands because of good luck.
Instead, they know how to change tricks and "toss" their husbands just right, not only adding some spices to the marriage, warming the years, but also living their lives in full swing.
Therefore, the woman who will toss, the marriage will not be too bad.
The more ritualistic the marriage, the happier it is
There is a classic line in the American drama "Desperate Housewives" that says:
"No matter how physically and mentally exhausted we are, we have to maintain a romantic feeling, and formalism, while not great, is better than being lazy to go through the motions."
But in marriage, there are too many women who think that just by putting each other in their hearts, it is enough.
As everyone knows, marriage is not enough to have love, but also needs to have a sense of ceremony, add fun to marriage, and make the days more and more sweet.
Netizens have shared an experience of their own.
He said he often resisted the urge to divorce, which had long been boring to him.
It turned out that his wife did not like to dress herself on weekdays, and her clothes were often worn out before they were replaced, and she would not give him any surprises.
When he travels on business, he will always bring her lipstick, perfume and other gifts, but every time his wife asks him not to spend money indiscriminately.
Not only that, there was a wedding anniversary one year, in order to have a different anniversary, he made a strategy in advance, booked a ticket and hotel to Sanya, and brought the child to his parents' home.
After carefully planning everything, he expected his wife to pack her bags with joy and set off for the holiday with him.
But he did not think that after his wife knew about it, she was so angry that he quickly canceled the booked ticket and hotel and took the child home.
He also scolded him that he should not be so extravagant, and if he had spare money to go out and be smart, it was better to pay off the mortgage quickly.
He said that at that moment his mood had fallen to the bottom.
I couldn't understand my wife's intentions, and his income was clearly enough to support these expenses.
Since then, he has not been in the mood to surprise his wife, and the days have become more and more boring.
Host Tu Lei once said: "The longer the marriage, the more you need to pick up the sense of ceremony, it is the preservative of marriage." ”
Marriage is two people who love each other, hand in hand into the marriage hall, and live together in chai rice oil salt sauce vinegar tea.
Love will cool down a little bit in the daily chores.
Only by constantly creating surprises and making marriage full of rituals can love become more and more fiery.
Women who can toss and turn will always find interesting things for themselves to do, make life full of rituals, and live their lives into poetry.
They don't repeat the same life day after day, year after year.
On the contrary, they will pay more attention to the needs of the other half in addition to the pots and pans, create romance and surprises for each other, add fun to life, and make each other full of expectations for the future, and the marriage will naturally become sweeter and sweeter.
The more women quarrel, the closer the relationship
In the TV series "Growing Up with You", there is a clip that I still remember vividly.
In order to make her marriage happy, Lin Yunyun never dared to argue with her husband and did not dare to say what she thought in her heart.
When the daughter missed the exam once in the extraordinary class of the training institution, the teacher of the training institution was demoted to the ordinary class.
Unwillingly, Lin Yunyun could only cry with her husband, but she did not expect that her husband not only did not stand on the same front as her, but also blamed her for not teaching her children very well.
Even if there are many difficulties in her heart, she can only silently accept her husband's statement.
The husband very much wanted to have a second child, and changed her tricks to let her have a second child quickly.
She did not want to have a second child, but every time she talked about this topic, she chose to be quiet and never tell her husband what she thought.
But she gave in again and again, not only failing to make the relationship between them more and more intimate, but gradually drifting apart.
Until one time, her husband felt that she had spent too much on her credit card in the past few months and began to rebuke her.
She had already suffered a lot of grievances, and finally broke out.
She took out the ledger and told her husband that every expense she spent was not for the sake of the children, but for the family.
I thought that the two would have a big argument about this, but I didn't expect her husband to change his posture and speak softly to her.
Even, when Lin Yunyun returned home, he would take the initiative to take slippers for her and pour water for her.
Actor Xie Nan once said:
"Arguing is not a bad thing, communication is a gentle demarcation of boundaries, and quarrels are efficiently drawing the bottom line."
When you are young, you always think that good feelings will not argue, because there will always be a party that will take the initiative to back down.
However, as they grow older and more experienced, they realize that two people who love each other again cannot have tacit understanding from time to time, and there will always be times of disagreement.
Good feelings, not that they will not quarrel, but that there is a woman who can quarrel at the right time.
They can always make each other clear about each other's thoughts and bottom lines during the quarrel.
As the author Erya said: "The real so-called blind love is not that we never quarrel, but that we have been arguing, but we have never separated." ”
Marriage is sometimes like boiling soup, and women who know how to quarrel are like adding spices to the soup to make the soup more flavorful.
Only when it is appropriate to quarrel and add some fireworks to life can the relationship become more and more intimate.
A woman who can spoil people is painful
I have seen such a popular question on the Internet:
"In marriage, what kind of woman is more loving?"
Of all the responses, "spoiled" appeared the most often.
One of the high zan replied: "Every time you are spoiled, the desire to protect your heart will be stimulated." ”
After seeing this answer, I had a relationship in my heart, remembering that the writer Li Siyuan once shared something about her neighbor Zhang Jie.
Sister Zhang's husband works in a different place, although the two have been married for many years, gathering less and leaving more, but Sister Zhang's husband holds Sister Zhang in the palm of his hand.
It turned out that when Sister Zhang's husband was not at home, she could not only take care of the family, but also repair various objects.
Even if your hand is accidentally scratched, you can continue to cook with a breeze.
However, as soon as her husband comes home, she needs his help to wash a sheet, and she also needs her husband to take a handle to lift the table.
When there are two people, she will also delicately ask her husband to help her beat her back and massage.
And her husband, instead of being reluctant to do this, is still happy to help her do everything well.
But in marriage, not every wife can be like Sister Zhang, who knows how to be spoiled.
Many wives believe that spoiling is a pretentious gesture, too hypocritical, and will only make the husband feel disgusted.
Instead of being more spoiled, it is better to carry it yourself and let your husband treat him differently.
However, you carry everything by yourself, and you will be tired, bored, and tired after carrying it for a long time.
Moreover, it will also exclude the husband and leave him without a sense of participation.
There is a classic line in "The Best Life of a Spoiled Woman":
"In fact, a man will love a woman deeply for a lifetime, and what matters is not her breasts, her face, but whether a woman will be spoiled and considerate."
Many times, the coddling is also adding a sweetener to the marriage, so that the marriage has always been in the honeypot.
Women who know how to spoil will always show weakness appropriately and let their husbands feel sorry for them.
With such a person, you can always have the pleasure of spring breeze.
In one program, someone asked the writer Mr. Cai Lan: "What is the most precious quality of girls?" ”
Mr. Cai Lan replied, "Naughty." ”
Mr. Cai Lan's naughtiness is actually a kind of pampering.
Learning to ask for help in a playful way will not make your husband feel intimidated, but will make your husband feel that he is needed and let his husband love you more.
In the face of things, more weakness, more coddled, is the eternal preservative of love, the glue of marriage.
The rest of your life is very long, learn to lie at the right time, let the other party care more and more about you, and let the marriage flow for a long time.
Mr. Yang Said:
Later, we learned that those who have a good temper are angry, those who are empathetic are considerate, no one who can take care of people is taken care of, people who cry and make trouble have sugar to eat, and those who understand things, but no one will be distressed.
In marriage, the same is true.
Happy marriages have a wife who will toss and turn.
Small tosses are pleasant, big tosses are easy to hurt.
No matter how deep the feelings are, how much they love each other, they can't stand the unbridled toss.
Not knowing how to toss and turn will not only make you tired, but also break your feelings.
Only, know how to judge the hour and size up the situation, just the right toss.
In order to enhance each other's feelings, without making each other bored.
Life is a long road, may you be in the marriage dojo, become a woman who will toss, and live a hot marriage.
Click "Watching" and encourage with friends.
Author: Wu Que, source: Ten Point Reading (ID: duhaoshu), a national reading number subscribed by more than 30 million people. One week the book is published with permission.