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I have been a stay-at-home mother for 12 years, and I know that in people's traditional thinking, in family life, men are responsible for the outside world, women are responsible for the inside, and everyone naturally thinks that after marriage and children, no matter how good and successful women should return to the family.
In addition to people's ideological cognition, in the actual factors, after the October pregnancy, women's physical and psychological changes, and the transformation of their identity after becoming mothers, so that they have more reluctance and responsibility for their children and families, and they have to be full-time mothers to take care of their children and take care of family affairs.
After becoming a stay-at-home mother, even the best women in the past gradually reduce their self-confidence in the anxiety of raising children in the daily chai rice oil and salt, and it is difficult to face society again, and even negative emotions and self-denial. I used to be like that.
In addition to children and housework, there is no free time, no economic freedom, life is humble, people in life do not particularly care about the pay and feelings of full-time mothers, for the sake of the family to give up self, can not get understanding and consideration is the helplessness and sadness of full-time mothers. Are you living like this too?
Being a stay-at-home mom is the most thankless thing
The life of four mothers from four families in the TV series "Growing Up with You" has resonated with many people, among which there are too many female shadows on the full-time mother Lin Yunyun.
Lin Yunyun has a good appearance and good temperament, and in the eyes of outsiders, as the wife of an executive, she has a successful husband and a child with good academic performance. She drives a luxury car and lives in a mansion, does not have to run for life, and simply has the life and family that many women yearn for.
However, Lin Yunyun is not as happy as everyone thinks, and her lack of security in her life will accommodate her husband in everything. The daughter wants to register for primary school, because of the problem of registration and filming, she does not dare to consult directly with her husband, put the household registration book on the coffee table, and hopes that her husband will come back to see the initiative to inquire.
Every day at home, in addition to taking the baby, he is constantly doing housework, cooking, cleaning, and taking the child to various talent classes, because the husband has said that the child should be excellent in everything. One night Lin Yunyun was practicing with her children, just because her husband wanted to change sneakers, she put down everything to arrange for the child and drove to the company to get shoes. After an argument with her husband, she gambled and left the house, but found herself penniless and had nowhere to go, and eventually had to sneak home with a hard scalp.
In Lin Yunyun's world, everything revolves around the children and husband, living a humble life, even if this kind of payment is not recognized, not respected, in reality is often more cruel than film and television dramas. Isn't it?
In the Korean movie "82 Years of Kim Ji-young", Kim Ji-young's hand pain is questioned by her husband, there is a rice cooker for cooking, a washing machine for washing clothes, and why does her hand still hurt.
In the eyes of men, children should be well taken care of, should also be well educated, and housework is also a good thing to do, and it should be done well. Stay-at-home moms are at home every day, no different from rest, and there's no reason to complain.
Stay-at-home mothers are like invisible "shackles" on their backs, and when there is dissatisfaction or inadequacy, they are completely incomprehensible. Long periods of depression and anxiety make them lose self-confidence, and the trivialities that are repeated day after day make them gradually lose hope in life. Once, I also walked such a road, it was difficult, very humble. Fortunately, I slowly walked out later.
Stay-at-home moms can also become "goddesses" by doing these things.
The world of stay-at-home moms shouldn't just have kids and housework, and shouldn't forget about self-growth. Based on my years of experience, stay-at-home moms can also be "goddesses" by doing these things well.
1, full-time mothers do not have to pursue perfection in everything
On the road of raising children, every mother is groping forward, there is no experience to follow, and there will be various situations in parenting. Infants and young children crying and sick need patient care to solve emergencies, and mothers do not have to blame themselves for not taking good care of their babies.
As children grow up, rebellion is inevitable, this is a normal phenomenon in growth, there is no need to worry about it or be demanding that everything is perfect, full-time mothers are not superhuman after all. The process of parenting is also a process of self-cultivation and self-growth, and if you pursue perfection, you can only bring pressure and trouble to yourself.
2, do not forget to grow up
Everything revolves around the child's family, losing himself, and over time he has lost his enthusiasm and hope for life, gradually becoming negative, not feeling the value of existence, and becoming sensitive and anxious.
While taking care of your children and taking care of your family, stay-at-home moms should not forget to grow up and do something that interests them. Reading, writing, listening to music, occasionally meeting with good friends, even if it is just a chat, give yourself some time and space, life will not feel boring, and it will not be disconnected from society.
In the movie "Miracle Boy", a little boy named Auggie has not been able to recover to the appearance of an ordinary person after more than twenty surgeries due to facial deformities, and Auggie has not been able to go to school, in order to take care of him, his mother Isabelle gave up his upcoming master's degree to become a full-time mother. Under the education of his mother, Auggie was kind and excellent, won love and respect, and also gained friendship, becoming a "miracle" in the eyes of everyone.
Isabel has not given up on self-growth and the pursuit of life, and after ten years as a stay-at-home mother, she has worked as her son's self-taught tutor, while using her free time to focus on her favorite illustrations, and to re-complete the papers shelved when she returned to the family ten years ago.
In terms of family relations and children's education, Isabel has not slackened, and although she has been a full-time mother for ten years without income, she is still respected and recognized, and is the pillar of the family. Her words and deeds, her children looked into the eyes, and became an example for their children.
3. Correctly understand the dedication to the family
Many stay-at-home mothers believe that they have no financial resources and all living expenses rely on their husbands, so they become humble, and even the most basic living expenses are embarrassed to ask for them directly. In fact, from another point of view, whether it is a husband who works outside the home to earn money to support the family, or does not have the income to take care of the family and
The child's stay-at-home mother, just the division of labor is different, and she bears responsibility and dedication to the family. My husband and I are planned in this way, the division of labor in a family, like starting a company, everyone performs their duties.
Therefore, the correct understanding of the payment to the family, full-time mothers without income, for the family for the children, may not be less than the husband, or even more.
In the early hours of the morning, mom came to nag:
Being a woman is a mother who should assume the responsibility of a mother and should also pay for the family, but the premise of all this is to be the best version of yourself first. In the family and the workplace, every woman is embodying her self-worth and should have a self. For the sake of family harmony and stability, for the healthy growth of children, full-time mothers should return to the family, should put aside anxiety and regain confidence.
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