Fate is a magical thing, and many people like to blame fate for the results of things.
A girl who seems mediocre, as a result of marrying a very good person, will be said: "Life is so good!" A girl who could have lived a good life, because she loved the wrong person and was unhappy, will be rated: "Bad fate!" ”
But is that really the case? If everything can be attributed to fate, and there is an established arrangement in birth, then why should people strive hard? Therefore, fate can be changed, and the way to change is through their own efforts and struggles.
Zhang Xiaoxian has such a sentence in "Thank you for leaving me": When you are strong, you will meet stronger than you; when you become better, you can afford to be better.
Getting stronger and better here refers not only to a person's ability to create value, but also to a person's ability to have happiness. Some people have a clear understanding of marriage feelings, and can choose a beautiful marriage from the beginning and live a happy and sweet life after marriage; but some people's attitude towards marriage is wrong from the beginning, so it is difficult to get happiness.
Generally speaking, women who have a bad life after marriage are mostly because they have not figured out these points. It has nothing to do with IQ and academic qualifications, but is closely related to a person's way of thinking.
First: Don't figure out what you want
This type of girl doesn't have a clear goal for what she's looking for, and doesn't know what kind of person she needs to find. Always listen to others say, to find rich, to find handsome, to find good for themselves... But know that everyone is different, and a good match for others may be a chicken rib for you.
Although it is said that after meeting the right person, all the rules and regulations will become fictitious. But the so-called rules are often just external requirements, not inner feelings. When looking for the other half, we need to have a clear goal in our hearts, such as being able to accept your shortcomings, understanding your inexplicable little temper, being willing to spend time for you, understanding your little stubbornness, unconditionally supporting your choices, and so on. Only when the soul is compatible, the two people can go longer, and the life after marriage will be happier.
Second: Very passive with feelings
There are still many girls who are very passive about feelings and have been waiting for happiness to come to them. Even if you are ignored or rejected because of one of your own attempts, you have a shadow on your feelings and dare not continue to try. In fact, many girls are excellent in their studies and work, but they are very wooden when it comes to feelings, and they are always waiting for fate.
Girls who want to get happiness, in the feelings to grasp a certain initiative, the initiative is not equal to the reverse chase, the reverse chase is not equal to the humble, you can have your own strategy and plan. When you meet someone you like, you can take the initiative to express yourself, let the other party notice yourself, and have more intersection with the other party, so that the other party slowly falls in love with himself.
You know, the probability of just waiting to be happy is only one in ten thousand. Many times it is not Prince Charming who waits, but it may also be a wolf in sheep's clothing. If you don't take the initiative, then you can only pick someone else's left.
Third: Mistake ability for character
The inevitable requirement for every woman to choose the other half is that the character should be good, but many people mistakenly regard ability as character and excellent as perfection, which has become a fatal factor in marital unhappiness.
I have met many girls, the standard for choosing a mate is a famous university, ask the reason, the attachment to the famous university is nothing more than to feel that people from famous universities are naturally both moral and excellent, very excellent, and even perfect.
However, as everyone knows, learning ability is not equal to character, and the good or bad of the school can only explain the high and low of a person's learning ability, and cannot explain how good the character is. Just like the "three good students" selected by the school when I was a child, the reference is only the grades, and the students who get the "three good students" are not the real three good.
The happiness of marriage does not have much to do with whether a person's career is successful or not. Therefore, if you want to have a happy marriage, then you must carefully examine the character of the other party, rather than looking at the other party's academic qualifications and career.
Fourth: Ability and desire do not match
In life, many older single women, or women who seem to be well married but not happy, most of them make a mistake, that is, they do not have a clear understanding of their abilities, and their abilities do not match their desires.
Marriage is ultimately an exchange of value, and the capital that a woman uses for exchange is an important factor in addition to appearance, family, education, income, personality and emotional intelligence. This is a reality that cannot be ignored, marriage is a reality, and the so-called "sentient drinking water" is either nonsense for marriage.
If a woman's realistic ability cannot keep up with her own desires, then it will bring a lot of pain. At this time, there are only two choices, either to improve yourself, or to reduce your own requirements, so that your ability and desire match, "door to door" marriage can be happy.
Therefore, women do not have to envy a person's good life, your seeming good life is actually a person's early accumulation and inner embodiment. Those women who marry well and live well, they must have their shining points, they are very good, very hardworking, worthy of all the beauty. And those women who always complain about their fate, instead of complaining about others, it is better to examine themselves and reflect on whether they have fallen into some misunderstandings of thought.
Finally, I hope that all women can live beautifully and happily.