I don't know if you have ever heard of a word, called "love passivity", it means: do not have expectations for love, and are unwilling to take the initiative.
A dating website even pointed out in a survey that nearly 50% of single men and women suffer from "love-chasing passivity".
They no longer have a hot head to pursue the person they like, even if they think day and night, but also let themselves restrained and calm, first in a wait-and-see state.
Nowadays, many people, although they have met the object they like, but because they are afraid that their sincerity will be betrayed, they classify love as a very "troublesome" thing.
But in fact, in the relationship, there is always a need for someone to take the initiative first.
Xiaobian has a friend, his own conditions are very good, but he is still single in his thirties, he said that he still wants to play for two years, but we all know that this is not the case at all.
He had a knot in his heart that he couldn't put down.
"If I had taken the initiative back then, I probably wouldn't be what I am now..."
When he was in college, he liked a girl, his sister, his personality was more introverted, did not dare to show his heart, even if a group of people around us were encouraging him, but he still could not take that step.
Fortunately, even if he didn't say anything, the girl still felt his heart. In college life, they are like boyfriend and girlfriend, inseparable all the time. The only regret is that the two did not establish a real relationship.
Later, Xiaobian asked him, why didn't he take the initiative to determine this relationship?
He sighed and said, "The conditions in my family are not very good, and I am afraid that I will not be able to give her a good life in the future." ”
After that, they spent their college time smoothly, but shortly after he left the society, there were some accidents in the girl's family, and they urgently needed a large amount of money to solve the urgent need.
The girl's family has also been arranging blind dates for her to marry out as soon as possible, so as to fill the loophole of this accident with the bride price.
He knows this and is trying to find a way to borrow money to help the girl as much as possible, but because he is not a legitimate boyfriend, he cannot naturally accompany the girl.
The family has been playing the emotional card for the girl to let her marry early, and finally the girl gave in, and under the arrangement of the family, married a person with a slightly better family.
In a later meeting, the girl asked him, "How long do you want me to wait?" When I was most helpless, I hoped that you could give me a little warmth and courage around me, and I hoped that you could take the initiative to hug me, kiss me, and sleep in bed, maybe I wouldn't give in, and we could have another ending..."
It's just, all too late...
Love really requires courage and initiative, and feelings should be active communication expressions in order to deepen each other's feelings.
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I once saw such a sentence: "Beautiful love belongs to only two types of people, one is to like each other and rely on luck; the other is to take the initiative to approach and rely on courage." ”
Grid has seen many girls, even if they meet someone they like, they would rather miss it than take the initiative, and finally can only tell themselves a sentence of "maybe they still don't like it enough".
As everyone knows, if you take the initiative and be brave, maybe the story will have a different ending.
Backstage, some fans have asked the grid: Will the girl who chases backwards in love end up with nothing and bruises all over her body?
I once saw such a story on the Internet: a girl recorded a story of her "backwards chasing".
She likes a colleague, but she's shy by nature and doesn't know how to approach them. Later, she learned from listening to his chat with others that boys especially like to swim, so she paid attention.
Although she is a person who is very afraid of water. But in order to have common hobbies with people I like, I worked hard to learn and practice, overcome my fears, and eventually learned to swim.
Just this like, or did not get the other party's response, but she said that she did not regret it:
"If you are willing to wait because of a person who has changed from timidity to bravery, from irritability to willingness to wait, and you are willing to challenge some things that you are not good at, this is the courage and effort you are willing to change because of your feelings." 」 Although he didn't like me, because of him, I saw a better view. ”
When you take the first step of initiative, and can harvest a better self, see more scenery, the grid feels that this is the meaning of liking a person.
People who never lose themselves and turn every piece of like into a motivation to make themselves better will not care about being humble in love, because they know that only those who love themselves are worthy of being loved by others.
All the initiatives are because I like it
Finally, may everyone who takes the initiative be treated tenderly by time
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