If you are in these bad "love states", stop the loss in time

Thoreau once said, "Most people live their lives in a quiet despair." ”

When we talk about love, we always fantasize about the beauty, wonder, and sweet love of two people after they are together.

But in fact, the most beautiful appearance of love is actually produced at the moment when two people have just fallen in love.

When a relationship is established, love goes downhill over time.

The three views are not in harmony, and the living habits are different, because the trivial things in life are frequently quarrelsome; the imaginary happy love has also become a chicken feather.

Many couples' feelings, love patterns, are difficult to go on.

As an adult, we should not only consider how to manage the relationship, but also consider stopping the loss in time at the right time.

In this article you will learn:

Which love patterns are easy to separate?

When feelings are on the irreconcilable step, should we give up?

-01

These "love modes" are easier to separate

First: "Imbalance between supply and demand"

I mentioned a point in a previous article:

In any relationship, when supply and demand become unbalanced, then the relationship is bound to have problems.

This is true of both romantic and social relationships, and in this world, people who want you to be well have no one but your parents and lovers.

In a romantic relationship, the normal love pattern is:

The payoff and the reward are balanced, at least not too bad.

How do you measure the people you love and whether they love you too?

It depends on whether he is willing to invest "scarce resources" in you.

The so-called scarce resources are the most rare and precious things in a person.

He has precious time but is willing to spend time with you; he does not earn much, but he tries to meet your needs as much as possible.

Conversely:

In a relationship, you are willing to give for him without reservation, and he rarely gives you back; then, this feeling is an abnormal love pattern.

When you are always giving, your partner is always taking; for a short time, under the influence of love, you are willing to continue like this.

But over time, you will feel "wronged".

"Why am I always giving?" Why can't you pay for me? Is it wrong to love someone? ”

In fact, this shows that your feelings are not equal.

Such a love pattern, if not changed in time, will soon come to an end.

Workaround:

The most direct approach is also the simplest approach.

That is to express your feelings to the other party, to express your demands.

"I want XX, can you buy it for me?"

"I've paid so much for you, shouldn't you give me something in return?"

"Do you know that love is a matter of two people, and one person can't afford to pay?"

If he's a sense of proportion and loves you enough, then he's willing to change.

On the contrary, if he continues to go his own way, take advantage of you, and is not willing to pay, then he does not care so much about you in his heart.

Think outside of your feelings and look rationally at your relationship before you can make the final decision.

Second: lack of communication, lack of desire to share

The desire to share is the criterion for judging the purity of a relationship.

What is the desire to share?

For example:

When you get home from work, you want to talk to each other about the day's observations, interesting or annoying things as soon as possible.

No matter when you see something funny, interesting, find a good topic, read a book, a play, you want to share it with each other.

This is called the desire to share.

There is something to talk about, and there is a desire to communicate with the other party.

It's not that talking about a lot of meaningful topics every day, talking about boring, boring topics and gossip, is also a kind of desire to share.

This mode of getting along is a normal romantic relationship.

So, what will the relationship become for couples who have lost the desire to share?

Life is like a pool of stagnant water, feelings are tepid, there is no passion, there is no freshness.

Young, but feel like the life of an old man, no longer have any expectations.

There are even many things that I would rather say to outsiders than bother to communicate with each other.

When couples lose their desire to communicate and their desire to share, their feelings will only get worse and worse.

"Living under the roof of the same house, but feeling like a shared roommate."

"Two people talk about love, but their hearts are full of loneliness."

Workaround:

It is not difficult to change this love mode, as long as two people work together.

For example:

Re-establish the desire to express and share.

You can try to chat with each other, put down your phone, and try to start communicating for 10 minutes a day; when you get used to this pattern, extend it to 20 minutes of chat.

You can talk about work, talk about life, talk about children, talk about dissatisfaction with each other.

In short, don't be silent.

People's emotions will be affected by their environment; the more negative you are, the lower your emotions will be.

Conversely, by maintaining an optimistic and positive attitude, you can also invest more passion in your relationship.

There are many ways to cultivate freshness.

Couples travel together, try new challenges, compete between couples, etc., these are all good means of maintaining love.

-02

Under what circumstances, it is time for feelings to stop losses in time?

First: find out that the other party is a "bottomless pit"

When you find that in this relationship, it is always a "negative feedback" state, always investing, but rarely rewarding.

I was very happy before, but after being with each other, I became more and more unhappy.

Financially independent, you can save money before falling in love, but after falling in love, it is always moonlight.

In such a state, you should consider whether to give up or continue.

Feelings are never supported by one person, and two people need to work together.

A good state of love should be the icing on the cake.

With him, you get better and better; too, he gets better.

On the other hand, if feelings are a burden or a drag on you, you should give up.

Second: Giving up is not cowardice, but loyalty to one's own life

People who dare to love and dare to hate, and who say one thing and the other, have great perseverance and great wisdom.

They are decisive, determined, and able to seize many opportunities in life and break free from losses in time.

People who are in love with brains, when faced with emotional difficulties, always want to keep, make up, and try again.

But they didn't think about it: give up, go out, in order to see a better scenery.

I have a friend, ma'am, who is divorced with a child.

After getting married and having a baby, she has been a full-time wife, giving up her job, circle of friends, and staying at home for 5 years.

Later, her husband betrayed her feelings, and she decisively divorced and raised the children herself.

During the day, when she sent her children to school, she went to work; now she is gradually moving towards a good state, and seeing her again is completely different from when she was newly divorced.

Giving up bad feelings is definitely not a cowardly act, but a person's great wisdom.

Today's Topic:

Are you satisfied with your current state of relationship?

If the feelings are getting worse and worse, will you stop the loss in time?

(Article with picture source network)