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Have you ever heard that people sin from birth?
Yes, Trevor Noah, who was named one of the 100 most influential people in the world in 2018, is like that.
His father was white and his mother was black. In apartheid South Africa at the time, the union of his parents was one of the worst crimes, and he would face prison terms and be sent to an orphanage.
He grew up in a world of crisis and disaster, and his brave mother tried everything to create a normal living environment for him.
Influenced by his mother, he insisted on himself in the strange circle of discrimination, poverty, and violence, took his fate into his own hands, and eventually became a famous talk show host in the United States.
This story is based on Trevor Noah's autobiographical novel Born Guilty.
From this book, we see the influence of a mother on the growth of her child.
From birth, everyone has a mother's shadow in their lives.
The love and positive education given by mothers to their children will become the "guiding light" on the road to children's growth.
The parent's thinking determines the child's vision
Trevor grew up in apartheid South Africa, but his mother's goal in educating him was to emancipate his mind and not be limited by solidified thinking.
In the town, most children only speak their native dialect, but his mother told him to use English as his first language.
Because the black people living in South Africa at that time, knowing English equals high intelligence.
His mother also taught him a variety of different languages, and using each other's languages when communicating with people of different races was the fastest way to fill the racial rift.
Later, Trevor used his language skills to cross racial boundaries, deal with difficult problems, and travel the world, and language became a tool for his life.
Ding Yanqing, a professor at Peking University, said: Don't look at children with a single scale.
Because he was born secretly, Trevor could not let people see him with his father, or even let people know who his father was, he could only live with his mother.
His mother raised him freely, never restricting him, instilling in him what blacks could and could not do.
Instead, she would take him to the activities that whites often do: ice skating on the ice rink, watching car movies, outings and picnicks.
She convinces Trevor that the world is his own and that his own thoughts and decisions are the most important.
When someone asked his mother, "Why are you doing all this?" Why show him the outside world? ”
His mother replied, "Even if he could not live without the slums all his life, he could know that the slums were not the whole world." ”
His mother's education eventually led him to a wider world.
At the age of 22, Trevor took to the stand-up comedy stage and developed from South Africa to the United States.
He used his past poverty to laugh at himself, turning the malice of others into funny baggage and becoming a shining new star in the comedy industry.
"The Shawshank Redemption" says: Don't forget that this world penetrates everything that is high walls, and it is deep inside us.
It is precisely because Trevor's mother does not have rules and regulations to raise children, but let them have a higher vision and a farther dream, so that Trevor can see and go to the wider world.
The thinking of parents is the orientation of children's lives.
Everyone is born with their own spiritual embryo, and good parents will lead their children to find themselves, rather than blindly limiting their development.
Only when parents break the shackles of thinking can children's lives have more possibilities.
The optimism of parents makes children rich inside
Trevor, who is a mixed-race child, does not have a good life in his hometown.
Whites hate him because he has black traits, and other people of color always bully him because he has white traits.
Once, Trevor passed by the mulberry tree and saw several boys picking mulberries, and Trevor followed suit, wanting to take a little home to eat.
Soon a boy approached him and said he wanted to see the mulberries he had picked.
When Trevor happily raised his hands to show the boy, the boy knocked the mulberry to the ground and stomped on it. Immediately afterward, all the children smashed him with mulberries, and his whole body was stained purple with mulberry juice.
He ran home crying, and his mother was terrified, thinking he was covered in blood. When he finished talking about the incident, his mother laughed and comforted him: "Try to think about the good side, you are really half black and half white now." ”
It turns out that no matter how dark and painful things are, brave people can use humor to resolve them.
His mother used to say, "Life is full of pain, let these pains make you stronger, don't cling to it, don't complain about others."
Trevor's mother had a very broken used car, and she used to drive him out to explore the world.
She would look for places to play without spending money, and let Trevor run freely in the park.
They went on a country outing, and there was no premium food for the picnic, but the mother would wrap the sausages, brown bread and butter in thick paper and make delicious sandwiches.
They would also go to high-class white neighborhoods and see other people's mansions, where his mother would lift him on her shoulders and let him admire everything in the courtyard, with swimming pools, fruit trees, tennis courts...
Happiness psychologist Christine Carter pointed out that adults interpret the world, children will observe and imitate, and then eventually develop into their own personality and mentality.
Sitting on his mother's shoulders, Trevor reaped the rewards of a lifelong education:
"Even if you are in the corner of the well, remember to look up at the stars."
Chaplin once said: Looking at life with a magnifying glass, life is a tragedy; looking at life with a telescope, life is not a comedy.
No fear of ups and downs, optimism and humor, and inner abundance, this is the most precious gift left by parents to their children.
Parental discipline is both love and responsibility
Whenever Trevor made a mistake, his mother would discipline him and tell him, "If I don't punish you, the world will punish you worse." ”
Once, Trevor went to the store and stole a pack of batteries, was caught by security guards, and informed his mother.
Instead of rushing to take him away, his mother told the security guard: "Put him in jail, and he must know what the consequences of his crime are." ”
As the old saying goes: Habitual children are like killing children. If the child is not corrected for his mistakes when he is young, he may grow into a crooked neck tree.
Trevor's stepfather opened a car repair shop, and at the age of 19, Trevor chose a red Mazda from his stepfather's garage and installed an old license plate in order to attend the high school prom.
On the way, Trevor encounters a routine check. He could not answer the police's questions, and after checking the license plate, the police suspected that he was suspected of stealing the car, so he arrested Trevor.
Afraid of being scolded by his parents, Trevor did not dare to call home to prove the source of the vehicle, so he asked his friends to help him get a lawyer to bail. After a few days in detention, his lawyer clarified the facts to the prosecutor at the hearing before he was allowed to regain his freedom.
Back home, Trevor lied that he had spent a few days at a friend's house. His mother told him that she knew everything that had happened, but instead of coming forward to prove the origin of the vehicle for him, she let him stay in the detention center for a few days, believing that Trevor needed to understand that mistakes must be punished.
Mother said: I control you and restrain you because I love you. Everything I do is out of the premise of love, and when I punish you, I am trying to save you.
Trevor felt a warm and harsh maternal love, silently caring for his growth journey.
Maternal love, like a beacon in the ocean, can guide a lost ship.
Guo Degang said: There is no father in the world who does not hurt the child, you spoil him, but the people outside are not his father, you scold him enough, after going out, no one scolds him.
Small problems can often lead to big troubles, parents should be pampered with their children, and discipline them before society punishes him.
The discipline of love from the mother can guide the child to move forward on the road to the future.
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Trevor left his mother as an adult to become a popular comedian, touring the country and hosting radio and television shows.
He changed the trajectory of his life and took his fate into his own hands, which was inseparable from his mother's education.
He wrote at the end of the book: "I want to thank my mother, who brought me into this world and made me the person I am now, and the kindness I owe her will never be repaid." ”
The influence of parents on their children is extremely far-reaching, some parents can destroy the child's life, and some parents can illuminate the child's life.
Do not set limits for the child's life, let the child live out of himself.
Maintain an optimistic mindset and make your child hopeful about life.
Insist on positive discipline and take responsibility for true love.
The best parents are not the parents who can pay the most, but the parents who know how to teach their children how to grow up healthily and how to live.
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