Reading this book is attracted by the title, "born guilty", how can anyone be born guilty? After reading it, it dawned on me that Trevor was evidence of his parents' "sin" and that he was "guilty" at birth. But when I finished reading the book, I was attracted and shocked by trevor's mother's personality.
(Cover of The Born Guilty book)
Trevor Noah was born on February 20, 1984 in Johannesburg, South Africa, as a "invisible" mixed-race child. He now has multiple identities: a South African comedian, a talk show performer, and a television and radio presenter. In 2018, Time magazine named him one of the 100 most influential people in the world.
All this is inseparable from his mother's hard work.
People say that behind every successful man there is an extraordinary woman, so the extraordinary woman behind the well-known host Trevor Noah is his mother.
Born Guilty is Trevor Noah's confession letter to his mother, or a thank you letter.
(Trevor Noah wrote at the beginning of Born Guilty))
After reading this book, I found that Trevor Noah's mother, Patricia Nubain Cerro Noah (hereinafter referred to as Patricia), has several sparkling qualities that are worth learning from every mother or girl.
1.
The goal is clear and the world is sober
Under apartheid, black women had only two options for working: factory women or maids.
Young Patricia didn't want to work in a factory, wasn't good at cooking, and couldn't stand being called in every day by white employers, so she signed up for secretarial training classes and learned to type.
Fortunately, the South African government at the time began to employ black people in low-level white-collar jobs, such as typists. Patricia took a job as a secretary in Brownfonfield, on the outskirts of Johannesburg.
(Stills from "Hidden People")
Patricia, who had lived with her mother when she first started working, left home when she turned 21 and moved to downtown Johannesburg.
But the problem is that it's illegal for blacks to live downtown.
As a result, she was often arrested, usually for not carrying documents or for spending too long in a white area. The punishment that awaited her was to either stay in jail for 30 days or pay a fine of 50 Nantes, which is equivalent to half a month's salary. She would scrape together the fines, pay the money and go straight back to work.
At the age of 24, Patricia fell in love with a White Swiss man who rented the same floor as her. He was quiet and reserved, and she was free-spirited. She would stop and chat as she passed his room, and they would go to underground parties together, dance in nightclubs on the revolving dance floor, and sparks of love would come unexpectedly.
But the reality is that the two cannot be legally married.
The Back german law of 1927 explicitly prohibits illegal and other related acts between Europeans and indigenous peoples. The specific content is as follows:
Any European male who has unlawful sexual activities with Indigenous women, and any Indigenous men who have had unlawful sexual acts with European women, shall be found guilty and sentenced to imprisonment for not more than 5 years;
Any Indigenous woman who allows a European man to have unlawful sexual intercourse with himself or herself and any European woman who allows an Aboriginal man to have unlawful sexual intercourse with himself or herself will be found guilty and sentenced to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 4 years.
The two are happy but can't finally become a family, and in desperation, Patricia makes a surprising decision.
She said to Robert, "I want a child, a child for both of us. Robert was taken aback and said he didn't want kids. Patricia said calmly, "I only need your sperm, you are not responsible for the rest of the matter."
She wanted to have a result in their relationship, so she had Trevor Noah.
(Trevor Noah and mother Patricia, image from the internet)
Life as a single mother is hard enough, not to mention that in South Africa, where apartheid is strict, it is really difficult for a black woman to live with a child of color.
Patricia made this decision, unaware of the development of the segregated system.
I believe that many people will think that this woman may be crazy, and so may I, but when I finished watching her life, I felt that this woman was really sober in the world.
She loved Robert, and she wanted the love of two people to bear fruit, so she made such a bold decision.
How to give Trevor a better life and education in South Africa, where black identity is humble and apartheid prevails, she is determined every step of the way. Although she always had to go back and forth, her decisions were made appropriately.
She knows what she wants, so she takes every step of the way with determination and courage.
This quality of hers also greatly influenced Trevor's growth trajectory, making him brave and planned every choice he made.
Fame at a young age is a good example.
(Trevor Noah photo, image from the Internet)
A person's life is made up of countless choices, large and small, from what to eat tonight and what kind of partner to find to spend the life with. Every small choice affects the experience, feeling and happiness of the moment, and each big choice will stick an arrow in our life journey, pointing to the road to the future.
Being clear about what you want is the most rare trait of a woman.
Only by clarifying what you want in the face of those important choices in life will the road ahead be smoother, and vice versa.
2.
Elevate your horizons and be unfettered
Trevor Noah's mother, Patricia, was a Xhosa native. Traditionally, she should stay in her hometown and work as a housewife, maid or factory worker for the rest of her life.
But she was not bound by these established rules, and she chose to see the larger world.
She learns to type, improves her work skills, improves her living environment, finds her favorite life partner, and loves and has children.
Hemingway said: "If you are lucky enough to live in Paris when you were young, paris will always follow you wherever you go from now on." ”
Where a person has been when she was young, the city she has lived in, will have a deep impact on her, whether it is Paris or Johannesburg. Every city has its innate temperament, and this temperament will quietly affect her and change her.
According to the regulations of the time, the children of blacks could only move in a small area near the divided dwellings, and they could not talk to white people, could not go to places where white people lived, and could not live in places where white people lived.
But Patricia didn't comply with these so-called rules.
She taught Trevor English, the first book she gave Trevor was the Bible, she signed up for a subscription with limited money, and she would often drive Trevor to explore the world and see white life.
Because she has seen the bigger world, she wants her children to see the bigger world as well.
Trevor Noah said: "Her practices made me feel that I could do anything, I could go anywhere. ”
Let a child who is "defective" in the eyes of others feel that he is no different from others, and that he can go anywhere and do anything. There is no doubt that this mother was successful.
Trevor's mixed-race identity was a bomb when he was young, but a fortune when he grew up. His success is basically derived from his special identity and life background. Of course, it is undeniable that he himself is also very funny and humorous.
The most important thing for a mother to educate her child is not to teach him any specific knowledge and skills, but to build his curiosity and courage to explore the world with solid love.
3.
Self-resilience.
After reading this book, there are two short stories that impressed me.
Story 1: It happened when Trevor was 9 years old, his mother took him and his brother to church, and the car could not start, so she offered to take a minibus.
Patricia was a devout Christian, and once she wanted to go to church, nothing could stop her, even if there was a riot outside the door.
Unfortunately, on the road, I met a mob-like minibus driver.
Realizing that her life was threatened, Patricia took advantage of the moment when the brakes slowed down as the vehicle turned, decisively pushed the sleeping Trevor out of the car door, and then jumped out of the car door with her youngest son, Andrew. After jumping out of the car door, Patricia shouted and ran, and then the two of them quickly escaped the danger zone.
The minibus driver was shocked by what the mother and son had done, and he did not catch up.
It wasn't until their breathing had calmed down and the police had come to take them home that Patricia said, "Well, at least we're safe, thank God." ”
Trevor was still angry about being pushed out of the car, he said: "No, Mom, you shouldn't thank God, you should listen to God, the car can't start, it's him telling us to stay at home, it's obvious that what happened tonight is a trick of the devil to tempt us out of the house." ”
"No, Trevor, it's not a demonic trick, it's part of God's plan, and if he wants us to go through it all, there must be a reason for him."
Finally Trevor said, "Mom, look, I know you love Jesus, but maybe you can ask if he's going to come to see us next week, because tonight's time really isn't fun at all." ”
Hearing this, Patricia had a big smile on her face and began to laugh loudly, and Trevor also laughed. In the middle of the night, a little boy and his mother, their arms and legs, covered with blood and dirt stains, shrouded in the glimmer of the gas station across the road, laughed together in pain.
Story 2: After Patricia leaves her second husband, Abel. Dissatisfied with Patricia's departure from him, Abel shot her in the head, the bullet piercing through the back of the head and tipping the tip of her nose.
Trevor saw her mother lying on the hospital bed crying sadly, and Patricia said calmly, "Child, don't cry." "Don't cry, kid. Trevor said, "Mom, you've become like this, how can I stop crying?" Patricia laughed, and she said, "That's fine," Trevor stunned, "and then you're the best looking person in our family." ”
The two stories have in common in that after experiencing dangerous events of life and death, she can quickly use optimism and humor to defuse fear and pain.
I can't help but marvel at her super self-healing ability.
Self-resilience refers to a person's ability to recover and return to a normal state under the challenges of various pressures such as pain, setbacks, tribulations, and failures.
People with super self-resilience can quickly recover from the impact of adverse events and quickly calm their inner restlessness, rather than being trapped in bad emotions for a long time and self-depleting.
After reading "Born Guilty", my biggest feeling is that a great mother has achieved an extraordinary child.