A topic that has been hotly discussed online recently:
While we play with our phones, how many children are slowly desperate in the quarrel of their parents?
"I read so many answers, I cried, every one of them was me."
"My parents were arguing, and I was hiding in the house shivering with sadness."
"It turns out that we are all the same, I love to cry sensitive and very inferior."
"I'm always trying to please people and live carefully every day."
Most of these answers to questions are students and young people.
Twenty years ago, hysterical parents were still arguing, and twenty years ago, injured children grew into scaly adults.
We always thought
"What does the child know when he is young?"
"I'm all for his good!"
As everyone knows, it is this accumulation of bits and pieces that will have an indelible impact on the child's life.
A happy childhood heals a lifetime, while an unhappy childhood takes a lifetime to heal.
1
Bad temper hurts a child's psychological growth
1, "bad temper" will make young children timid and cowardly
Parents often lose their temper, children will become more "obedient" because of fear, which may lead to doing things in the future without their own opinions, and even become weak, lose themselves, over time, the psychological characteristics of young children's timidity and cowardice will affect their lack of determination when encountering difficulties, poor ability to resist setbacks, dare not challenge and moderate risks.
2, "bad temper" will make young children become grumpy
Young children have strong ability to imitate, the ability to distinguish between good and bad behavior is weak, and the words and deeds of parents are likely to be "in the pocket", therefore, parents who love to lose their temper, children who are educated are also easy to rebel, suspicious and sensitive, fragile and aggressive. When the child grows up, he is also very grumpy and harsh, and he is likely to have episodic perversion and neuropathic tendencies.
3, "bad temper" will hurt the parent-child relationship
You lose your temper with your child and say something ugly, and you leave a wound in his or her heart. Know that wounds on the mind are just as difficult to heal as wounds on the body, and no matter how much you apologize, the wounds are always there. Over time, the "bad temper" becomes the strongest weapon of destruction for parent-child relations.
2
How to regulate your bad temper?
1. Educate children with empathy
If your child's homework is not completed, don't blurt out: Why haven't you written it yet? Know to play every day! Wait a minute. Will your child write his homework because of this? Of course not, the child will be more resistant to writing homework. You could say something like this: I'm really sad that you don't finish your homework on time. I'd be happy if you could finish your homework in half an hour. Directly express their own wishes, their emotions and feelings, use empathy to educate children, and let feelings flow naturally and smoothly.
2. Think quietly and face your emotions truthfully
Blindly suppressing and restraining temper is not the best way. Emotions cannot be suppressed, and repressed emotions will eventually explode in a more out-of-control state. The real approach is to learn to face your emotions sincerely and realize that my own emotional management is not good and has nothing to do with my children. When you encounter something unpleasant, you can write out the thoughts in your heart, and when you write out all the anger, resentment, and bad temper in your head, your heart will calm down a lot.
3, from their own temper change
If the parents' own temper is irritable and irritable, it is natural that they will not be able to control their temper in the process of educating their children, so if they want to control their "bad temper" in educating their children, they must also start from themselves and use good methods to divert their attention, such as listening to music. A major function of musical activity is to mobilize people's emotions, and the proposer of "emotional intelligence" ——— the study of Dr. Goleman in the United States proved that the emotional system controls a large number of sense of efficacy and satisfaction in life. These positive feelings can reduce emotional anxiety in people. So, if you want to settle down, you may wish to listen to music and play musical instruments, which can also establish a connection with the world.
In life, there are many times when children will not do well.
For example, not eating well, throwing toys, stubbornness and disobedience, and talking back to parents.
But believe that there are no children who are not taught well,
Mom and Dad have a little more patience and care in life, comfort and understanding,
The child will return the favor with more surprises.
Strive to be a peaceful parent and give your child a gentle and loving home.
Music meets the game