I don't know if you have experienced the following states in love:
1, emotional instability, always feel that the other party does not love themselves, every three or five places to "do" a bit, want to verify their importance in the other party's heart;
2, as long as the other party does not clearly express love for you, you will worry about whether the person does not like you;
3, once the other party does not take the initiative to send a message, you will feel that ta did not miss you, and if you take the initiative to send a message, ta did not reply, you will feel that ta does not want to return;
4, can not concentrate on doing their own thing, always look forward to receiving the other party's information, when the other party does not send a message, it is easy to be restless, thinking wildly...
If you also have the above psychological states, always in love with the loss, fear of being abandoned and break up, then today's video is tailored for you, the content may be a little long, but all dry goods, I believe you will know how to talk about a love without breaking up after watching it!
In fact, many times, the reason why you have doubts about the relationship may be essentially because the intimacy is a highly emotional experience that triggers some of your previous unresolved pain.
For example, if the other party does not reply to the message in time, you will feel that the other party does not love you, which may essentially stimulate the uneasiness of not being responded to by your parents in time when you were a child.
For example, you were strictly disciplined and harshly reprimanded in childhood, then if your partner puts forward the opposite opinion to you in adulthood, it will trigger your grievances, or even disgusting insults, or it may be that this incident triggered the pain of not being accepted when you were a child, and your subconscious hopes that your partner can allow you to be willful and unconditionally accept you, so as to make up for and save yourself who cannot resist when you are young, which is essentially irrelevant to whether the advice made by your partner is reasonable or not.
So did you find it? Many times your emotions may not have much to do with the present, but we usually vent the pain left over from the past to the people and things in the present, and even at that moment, we don't find it ourselves.
This is why many people will repeatedly argue for the same kind of thing, because the trigger is the same feeling in the subconscious layer, so the suggestions on this aspect, you can read more and listen to more books and courses in this regard, and the appropriate psychological counseling with financial ability will help us improve our awareness and accept ourselves.
If you're always disappointed and dissatisfied in your relationship, it's probably because you've added your own preconceived notions.
For example, this weekend, ta work is not busy, you subconsciously feel that ta should contact you more, or you have not seen you for a long time, you feel that ta should take the initiative to ask you out, or if ta likes you, ta should be how to treat you...
Once the other person's reaction is different from your assumptions, you will amplify your emotions, directly judge that he does not love you, and even anger and accuse the other party just because of his own imagination. When your relationship finally "gets its wish" to go bad, you reinforce your assumptions that are correct, creating a vicious circle.
So don't take each other's behavior patterns for granted, or negatively interpret the partner's behavior intentions, but learn to understand and accept each other's behavior patterns, interpret each other's behavioral motivations from the perspective of goodwill, communicate directly when there is discomfort, and tolerate dissatisfaction and differences in a relationship.
What does that mean? There are many needs of people, companionship and talk is not only what lovers can give you, family, friends, reading, sports... All of this, so don't always expect a relationship to meet all your needs.
Many people's misunderstanding is to hope that the other half can meet all their needs, once they enter an intimate relationship, there is only this one person in the world, but think about it, when you put all your energy on love, this itself is particularly scary, because all your emotions must be given by the other party, for the satisfaction of life, you can only rely on love to complete, once love goes wrong, you can not find the meaning of life.
Such "valued" love will more or less lead to control, suspicion and quarrels, in addition to making yourself more and more disappointed, but also make the other party feel very depressed and suffocated.
Therefore, learning to develop your own "fixed sea god needle", such as focusing on your career, cultivating hobbies, making friends and traveling, reading, volunteering, etc., can not only disperse your own needs, but also enhance your own value.
When you maintain your own independence and sense of social value, you will be more able to experience the richness and diversity of life, and you will not always suffer from the loss of a relationship, understand?
Psychological test: Test the sentence your ex most wants to say to you
1. Do you argue over small things when you're together?
Yes, I often feel tired —2
Rarely quarrel over small things—2
Occasionally, but soon reconciled —3
2. Do you think you are a person who likes to self-reflect and is willing to correct mistakes?
Yes —3
Not —4
3. Will he or she take the initiative to tell you his troubles?
It is often said that -5
Not much to say —4
4. Would you tell your parents about the process of your relationship?
Everything is too big or small, and I often complain to my parents -6
Occasionally they ask and say —5
Hardly to say, nothing to say —5
5. Faced with what you want, how much energy are you willing to put into acquiring it?
Everything follows fate, and it is mine in the end--7
Try hard, maybe you can succeed - 6
Do my best, I want to get --B
6. Did you break up because of a third party?
Yes—A
No —7
7. Did the other party take the initiative to contact you after the breakup?
Yes—D
No—C