This article is transferred from: China Education News
The mall was crowded.
A little girl who looked to be 5 or 6 years old was playing with water in the bathroom of the mall, and she wet the sleeves of her clothes a lot.
Her mother grabbed her, and because of the strength of the big girl, she stumbled a little, and her mother said, "Are you going to die?" Clothes don't cost money, right? How did I give birth to such a thing as you..."
The little girl seemed to be frightened, her eyes were dim, and she let her mother pull at her like a marionette.
How much hatred does it take to curse the child to death? Why are these hurtful words so easy for mothers to blurt out, especially to their own children who are pregnant in October?
Words are often the sharpest weapons, and these words are like bayonets, inadvertently and deeply hurting the child's heart.
Mother, hidden in your meanness is your humility, your frustration.
Mom, you are full of love, but your face is vicious.
In the mother's mouth, the child's life temperature is hidden
Ah Xuan was always compared when she was a child, and was never praised by her mother.
Every time in front of her relatives, my mother would always say directly that she was not good.
She listened to her inner grievances, tears fell endlessly, tried to perform but never got her mother's approval, and when she caught making a mistake, she said it vigorously.
Ah Xuan took the initiative to help with housework, and her mother thought that she was slow and unclean. She does not do housework, and said that she is lazy, does not know how to pay for the family, and sympathizes with her parents.
Ah Xuan's mother never gave up any opportunity to repeat the old things, like a broken record player, repeatedly and chattering about the child's bad deeds and how the child made her lose face.
Her mother's harsh and paranoid words planted the seeds of inferiority in the heart of 12-year-old Ah Xuan.
If you think about it, the causes of many things come from some trivial things.
The child is like a jar, and the adult throws all the complaints about life and the bitter and heavy words into this jar, and one day, the jar will explode.
When the vicious, mean words blurted out, any goodness of the mother disappeared.
No child can shine in the dark.
A sentence of "I am your mother, do you dare to talk back to me?" The grateful heart also becomes a complaining heart.
The mother's mouth determines the height of the child's life
Hu Shi once wrote in the article "My Mother": "My mother has a large temperament, a good temperament, the most kind and gentle treatment of others, and has never said a word that hurts people's feelings." ”
But in reality, how many mothers are afraid that if they praise a few words more, their children will go to heaven, and they are afraid that they will lose the family if they fight less.
"They have never been a qualified parent, but they ask us everywhere to be a qualified child."
The 25-year-old Sweet vented her dissatisfaction in the circle of friends.
"It's better to have a dog than to have a dog, and the dog knows how to wag its tail." This is a phrase that Sweet Mother used to say to her.
Sweetie has never been able to get her mother to change the way she speaks, which is her most confusing problem.
Sweetie has tried to be gentle, tried to please, tried to be spoiled, tried to be fierce, tried to buy something for her mother.
But for her mother to speak well to her, it seems that only if her mother wants to do so.
Sweetie didn't like her mother's way of talking, but Sweetie felt that she was becoming more and more like her mother.
Mom's occasional swear words, occasional roars, and sweetness are unconsciously absorbed and internalized.
These things are presented in sweet speech behavior, so when sweet and sweet communicate with their mothers, they often cannot communicate calmly.
They often quarreled over trivial matters.
"When I grow up, I'll be you." It was like a curse.
Tiantian actually doesn't like herself, and the saddest thing is that children can never convince their parents.
Even if parents are accustomed to facing their children with a vicious face, the child will never be able to say "no".
Praising children is too spoiled for them, and it is the right direction to criticize and even scold them.
When children grow up, they can distinguish between right and wrong, and they can live independently without their parents, but those habits of inferiority and self-denial that go deep into the bone marrow will accompany the child for a lifetime.
In order not to let the same situation happen to the next generation of children, children also need to spend a lot of time and energy to soothe their hearts, give themselves courage, and give themselves confidence.
The mother's mouth is the feng shui of a family
Emerson famously said, "The family is the land of the father, the world of the mother, the paradise of the child." ”
Every child's heart is soft and immature, and the mother's fluttering words are sometimes more painful than a slap in the face.
Huan Huan is 32 years old, and she is under the impression that she has not visited the street sweetly with her mother.
After marriage, she tried to change her stiff relationship with her mother, but later found that easing the relationship could not change her mother's temper.
Before getting married, her mother scolded huanhuan almost every day, and her mother hoped that she would be angry, and she thought she understood huanhuan.
The mother has always held her identity as a parent, thinking that it is normal to scold the child, and huanhuan as a child just has to endure.
Huan Huan has been scolded by her mother as a neuropathy, scolding a lot, listening to it for a long time, sometimes really doubting whether she is neurotic.
The lack of love is a gap, and the dark family environment is a sharp blade.
When watching a loved one say nothing and insult him in front of him; when a respectful and beloved person tears off the mask of hypocrisy in front of him and reveals a vicious face; when he knows everything but cannot do anything, it is the time when the child is in the most pain.
Speaking is the most costless, and speaking well tests the wisdom and pattern of being a mother.
Smart mothers never say anything and embarrass people in life, but are kind to others and like a spring breeze.
A good woman who can talk is a noble man, a leader of children, and the soul of a family.
A family's attitude and spiritual outlook will be imperceptibly passed down from generation to generation.
Mother's mouth is the best feng shui in a family.
Speaking well is a mother's lifelong practice
What is it like to be added up to a mother's bad words?
That feeling is probably something that only those who are in it can experience: fear, nervousness, anger intertwined.
If the child can't bear not to argue with his parents, the scene is even more uncontrollable.
"This kind of person, books are read into the belly of the dog!"
"People like you, no one will want you in the future, and you won't be able to marry."
"Twenty-somethings are like a three-year-old!"
In this way, I don't know how many children's childhoods have accompanied.
Perhaps the mothers forgot after scolding, they did not know that they had said these words, and simply regarded their children as emotional "trash cans".
When the child is angry, the mother will feel that she is making a fuss for no reason.
In the face of their mother's verbal violence, some children regard the painful emotions they produce as a part of their lives and even rationalize them: "I can't blame her, after all, I did something wrong first." 」 She had placed so high moral expectations on me, and I had committed a crime that made her so sad. ”
Sometimes, mothers speak differently, can they educate their children well?
The mother who cleaned the house and cleaned all day was very tired, and then said to the child very badly: "Why are you so lazy and can't move..."
At this time, it is better to say something like, "A family cleaning together can sweep away the bad luck, child, you come and wipe the table."
There is something wrong with the child, and it can be pointed out that it is really not advisable to insult the child on the line.
It is a fate to walk in the world and be a relative.
Don't say hurtful words, say more heart-warming words.
Considering your child's feelings and talking well is a kind of kindness of being a mother, and it is also a lifelong practice.
"The family, the school of the beginning of life also."
The character of a lifetime, the so-called ever-changing one, is mostly embryonic in the family. ”
For parents, parenting is also raising themselves.
Who can sow a seed of a cactus and end up with a bouquet of orchids?
"There used to be a pair of small hands that tried to grasp two big hands, because grasping them was happiness, but he couldn't catch them."
Parents also come from children, giving hugs and warmth to every child who suffers from verbal violence, happy families, without sharp accusations and angry scolding.
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