With the improvement of living standards, many people's mentality and thoughts are now different from the past, especially for the widowed elderly in their old age, they will not be as empty as before, with secular morality for their deceased wives, but can boldly pursue the happiness of their old age, find a new wife to remarry or partner life.
However, after reading many cases of remarriage, remarriage in this later life will always encounter such a problem, that is, the question of who is in charge of the money. The vast majority of women remarry, they want to grasp the economic power themselves, because they feel that they are women, relative to men are more disadvantageous, so they should grasp some real power together. However, men feel that their money is in their own hands, and they have no bottom in their hearts when they give it to their wives, and they give money to women, and everything must go through the hands of women, which is very faceless.
So after the old man remarries in his later years, will this money be handed over to the woman for safekeeping, or will it be a man? A 71-year-old Zhang Laoye in the community, after 5 years of happy partner life, said his unique views: "If you want to be a partner in your old age, don't pay your salary card, talk about good interests and then live together!" "Why does Mr. Zhang say this, let's listen to mr. Zhang's partner story."
Self-statement from Mr. Zhang:
I am 71 years old and have been retired for 11 years. To tell the truth, as early as before retirement, I have always expected to enjoy my old age with my wife after retirement, I have planned a lot of old age life, I want to travel around the country, I want to go back to my hometown, I want to return to my hometown, I want to be a farmer, and I want to participate in the old age song and dance club, and show off my glory on the stage with my wife.
However, God did not give me the opportunity to achieve it, and in the second year of my retirement, before I could complete many plans with my wife, she died of illness.
After my wife left, the two filial sons around me wanted to take me to the side for the elderly, but I refused. At that time, many people said that I would not enjoy it if I was blessed, and that my son would take up the enjoyment if I was filial to me, so why should I suffer from living alone and guarding the house.
However, I don't go to my son's house for the elderly, there are my own reasons. First, I have been separated from my two sons for more than ten years, which must have a lot of discord in living with them; second, my own body is OK, food, clothing, shelter and transportation can also be taken care of, there is no need to let my son raise; third, I do not want to leave my familiar living environment, I feel that in my own home, I will be relatively comfortable and comfortable.
Being at home alone, although it seems lonely, but for extroverts like me, there is no impact. Every day, I will go outside, find old friends to play ball, chess, cards, occasionally dance, have dinner, and then go to a far door, etc., almost all of which will make every day's life full, and when I return home, it is just morning and evening washing, sleeping.
I thought I could live alone day after day, but when an old neighbor next door had an accident at home and no one found out about it for three days, my heart was a little flustered, maybe it was also old, maybe this kind of case happened around me, I began to be afraid of this kind of thing, it will happen to myself.
And I don't want to live with my sons, nor do I want to waste money looking for a nanny, so I thought, at the moment, the life of the elderly partner is so popular, why don't I go to find a wife to live with?
After several rounds of blind dates, I found a partner 6 years younger than myself 5 years ago, named Ah Zhen. Ah Zhen has been widowed for many years, and she also wants to find a wife to live with each other, perhaps because of the same fate, coupled with ah Zhen's good looks, we quickly met each other.
Ah Zhen is a very virtuous and hard-working woman, and during our attempts to socialize, she often came to my house to clean me up and cook for me to eat. With the arrival of Ah Zhen, my old man's kennel has a new look and a homely atmosphere.
Several times my sons came back to visit me, thinking I had paid for part-time workers to do sanitation. There is also the meal made by Ah Zhen, which is really delicious, more than my previous wife, who is more able to cook, and every time she comes to my house, I will be very happy and excited, like a child waiting for the New Year.
Ah Zhen gave me the feeling of perfection, so we were probably familiar with it for about 2 months, and we officially lived together. However, when I proposed to partner, Ah Zhen also made a lot of requests, some small requests I could accept, but Ah Zhen said that she wanted me to hand over the salary card to her, which I could not accept.
So, I told Ah Zhen that I couldn't give the money to her for safekeeping, but it wasn't that I didn't trust her, nor did I love her, but because when my ex-wife was still alive, I was always in charge of my own salary, even if I retired, so I was used to managing my own money, and I also felt that men had to hold financial power. Ah Zhen also asked me a little grumpily: "Then each of them manages their own money, how do you live this partner's life?" Have they gone their separate ways? ”
In order to take care of Ah Zhen's feelings, I told Ah Zhen what I had in mind: We are a partner, you live in my house, I will bear the living expenses every month, I don't need you to pay a penny, and I will give you 500 yuan of pocket money.
I will not use your own more than 20 million, you save it yourself, give it to your son, or buy anything you want in the future, I will not care. If you really need to use money for our family in the future, we will discuss how to spend it together, which is also what you and I want.
Ah Zhen listened to my thoughts and thought it was okay, but she felt that there was no proof to say so, so she asked me to draft and sign an agreement. In fact, Ah Zhen also has a lot of worries about everyone, after all, there is no license between us, and the future is very variable.
Therefore, Ah Zhen also put forward a few opinions, she said: both parties are old people, there will definitely be pain in the future, but who is sick will bear it themselves, to go to the hospital, to buy this and buy that expenditure, but also have to bear personally. Whether the other party is willing to take care of and pay is also based on personal wishes, and the other party cannot be forced.
There is also the treatment of the children of both parties, emotionally equal, there can be no abandonment and burial. In terms of economy, it is also the children of each person in charge, who issue red envelopes every New Year's Festival, or usually support and sponsor their children and grandchildren, and they all use their own money and cannot ask the other party to pay. In short, each managing each other and being willing to spend is also a personal sentiment, and it is not possible to morally kidnap and coerce with feelings.
Although these few points of opinion that Ah Zhen said were a little ugly and a little ruthless, I thought about it and felt that it was quite reasonable. The problem of interests has the greatest impact, and the things involving interests must be said well before the partnership, so that when it comes to interest disputes, it will not be preoccupied with mischief.
But I also added one, that is, the attitude problem. Since we have a partnership, we must trust each other, have something to say, have opinions to put forward directly, have problems can be discussed, and absolutely cannot directly treat each other with cold violence or tantrums. If one party is unreasonable and grumpy, our partner will break up at any time.
Today, I have been working with Ah Zhen for 5 years, there is no big quarrel, there is no economic dispute, and life is full of taste. Although the agreement was written a little ruthlessly and rawly, Ah Zhen and I became more and more intimate, she cooked for me every day, washed and mopped the floor, and did not treat me differently because of the agreement. And I will not let Ah Zhen work so hard, often help her, some festivals will also take the initiative to buy her gifts, or wrap some red envelopes for her.
If you are really good to each other, the other party will be good to you. Although I am now in possession of A-Jin, each in charge of it independently. But life is sweet, but it does not distinguish between you and me, sometimes Ah Zhen will pay for this and that for the family, I will also wrap red envelopes for her children and grandchildren, on the surface you love me, but in fact, they treat each other as relatives, regardless of you and me. The children of both sides are very supportive of us, and we will gather together every New Year's Festival, and the joy and harmony make many people envious.
In fact, in the later years, the partnership is so simple, the money and wealth are in charge of themselves, and then negotiate the interests and then live together, so that the partner will live happily for a long time.
Unlike some men, they are full of brains about their partners, wanting to serve each other and wanting each other to contribute money, so it is often not long, and when they encounter conflicts of interest, they will not be happy.
Partnering, that is, each other must know how to pay, each other to put down some selfishness, not to covet each other's interests, not too much pity for their own money, should pay for each other, or have to take the initiative, after all, the other party is your partner wife, no license is also to live together "partner couple". That's the point you say or don't say!