Due to work adjustments, working day time, temporarily unable to send articles, adjusted to publish study notes. (The content of the notes comes from: books, official accounts, Zhihu, Weibo, paid communities, does not represent personal views)
1, do not be too polite and polite in speech
From the point of view of speaking, do not develop the habit of being only promised and too polite and polite.
Politeness is important, but it also depends on the object, too much, grasp the good degree.
In terms of tone, it is necessary to be sonorous and powerful, and to say that one is one, one cannot be without principles.
In addition, things that are not sure are not easy to express, and there is no use of nonsense to say less.
2, two reactions, two different parent-child relationships
When a child is a child, when he rarely wants to talk to his parents, his parents have no patience to say: "It's annoying! "Then leave the child to the side;
And said softly, "Oh? Then listen with interest.
These two reactions, the formation of parent-child relationship is completely different.
It is in the accumulation of such small things that relationships are gradually established.
Those families whose children can smoothly pass through puberty rely on the relationships that have been saved before.
Children will think that "when I was young, my parents often played with me, and I was very happy", and with this gratitude, I can overcome all kinds of difficulties.
It is those who are able to rely appropriately on others who can learn to be self-reliant, and it is not an exaggeration to say that appropriate dependence is the support and guarantee of self-reliance.
"Self-reliance" is actually a new relationship between parents and children, and I hope that parents and children can understand this.
Children's happiness is created and constructed by themselves.
Some parents are not centered on their children's happiness, believing that they can only be at ease by placing their children in what they think is a "state of happiness", but this is nothing more than self-righteousness.
True happiness is to let children "live their own lives".
-- Hayao Kawai
3, be the master of learning, do not be a slave to learning
Some of the students are masters of learning, and some are slaves of learning.
Students who are the masters of learning are mainly manifested as: the purpose of learning is clear, some ideals are still relatively ambitious, and the enthusiasm and initiative of learning are strong.
Knowledge of what content to learn every month, you can choose the learning method that suits you, listen to lectures with good attention, and have a high self-study efficiency.
There are also practical things to do in the plan during the spare time.
These students work well with the teacher, but never copy and do well academically.
Learning is a deep-seated need for them, a pleasure, a pleasure.
The main manifestation of students who are slaves to learning is: learning to avoid parental criticism or criticism from teachers.
They lack or do not have the enthusiasm and initiative to learn, and parents or teachers push and push, they move.
Sometimes they want to learn, but they don't know where to start and what method to learn.
Classes are often troubled by the inability to concentrate, self-study or nothing to do, or knowing that there is something to procrastinate as much as possible, and the homework is passed.
They like to rely on the teacher, but the teacher often procrastinates or even does what the teacher makes them do.
They don't have good study habits, and they can learn for a while on a whim, but they will soon cool down.
They often take test scores as the ultimate purpose of learning, and test scores are not high, and learning has become a burden, a burden, and a pain.
4. Why can't we accept that children are mediocre?
No one can accept stupidity, not even the most remote, the poorest, really stupid people, can't accept their stupidity.
For individuals, accepting their own incompetence and stupidity is equivalent to overturning the rationality of their own existence, which is contrary to human nature, and the brain is very repulsive.
So the question is, why can't you accept that children are mediocre?
Genetic factors, parent genes are passed on to children.
Educational factors, parents educate their children.
Environmental factors, parents affect children.
Children are the continuation of parents, if the children are mediocre, the side reflects the parents' stupid mediocrity, and the parents can not accept their own mediocrity.
Children are social tools, children are mediocre, parents go out without face, of course, can not accept.
The child pinned on the unfulfilled wishes of the parents, the parents nested for a lifetime, and relied on the child to achieve the dream, and the result was that the child was very mediocre, of course, unacceptable.
In summary, stupid, vain and lazy parents cannot accept that their children are mediocre.
5. Learning to wait is a practice
You have to be strong enough, strong enough to be patient enough to wait until the day of success.
This is one of the secrets to success.
[Can't wait] means that you are always impatient.
Therefore, whenever there is a problem, you complain about the world, and when you encounter something, you make a big fuss.
That setback is only an inevitable consequence.
Learning to wait is a practice, whether it is a child, a young person, a middle-aged person, an elderly person, waiting is a compulsory course.
When you're a little upset, wait a minute;
When your impulses are difficult to control, slow down;
When you are full of frustration and constantly doubting yourself, be quiet.
In waiting, let us learn to summarize, learn to be confident, and learn to be patient.