Ignorant childhood is only a short period of ten years, but it is extremely important to a person's life. So, how do you teach optimistic children? Close your eyes, think about your child's smiling face, and then ask yourself, "What do I really expect from my child's life?" "Don't pretend to know the answer.
Before becoming a parent, we must answer this seemingly simple question: What do we expect from our children? Expect him to win a certificate of merit and win an honor? Become President of the United States? Become rich and carefree? Find true love? Or, just hope he can live a happier life?
Maybe you will answer without thinking: "I just want my child to clean the room by himself, take the initiative to do his homework, and listen to me." Maybe one day when you start to worry about your child's studies, you will sigh and say: "I just want my child to get good results in the college entrance examination and be admitted to a key university." "Think about it carefully, and your answer is likely to be a simple word — happiness." Most parents want their children to be happy and happy forever. Of course, we also hope that children can be good people when they grow up, contribute to society, care about others, and have a sense of responsibility. But deep down, the vast majority of parents just want their children to grow up happily.
If you want your child to be happy forever, you must find a reliable way to not punish or reward your child casually. It is undeniable that discipline, effort, score, and civilized behavior are all important, but the key lies in how to make children grow up happily. Children's happiness comes from their playful nature and sense of connection, not fear and guilt. What a universal and sincere wish to live a happy life. Maybe you can't give a clear definition of "happiness", but think about when you enjoyed a happy time, is it unforgettable?
1. Get to know your child more deeply
Today's parents are doing a good job, don't be overwhelmed by negative pressures; today's children are also very remarkable, they are idealistic, ambitious, wise, hopeful, but a little anxious. What makes it easy to remember? Negative news, of course! But contrary to the message advertised in newspapers, radio and television, children today are healthier, happier and more creative than previous generations. Elders usually complain about juniors because they all see only the dark side of young people, which I don't see at all. On the contrary, in my opinion, today's children are very good, and their parents should be happy and proud.
Today's children not only pursue achievements, but also have a more humanistic and caring spirit than we think. They are not as radical as we were in the "baby boom" era. Times have changed, and now children have their own style. Our generation opposed the Vietnam War, and today's idealistic children are more concerned with the balance of the environment and political security, especially after 9/11.
They are not as strong as our generation, but they are just as strong as we are. Cartoonists often satirize the current generation of spoiled children, who are selfish, realistic, and gold-worshipping, but who doesn't love money? Their life choices, though, are by no means as the cartoonists satirize. For example, one of Harvard's hottest majors is environmental studies; the number of young volunteers across the Country is increasing, not decreasing, every year. Most children want a well-paid job, but who wouldn't? But according to survey statistics, compared with the salary of the job, today's young people pay more attention to the meaning behind the work.
In fact, today's children work harder than their predecessors before they go to college. Both high school students and parents can attest to this, and the pressure of the college entrance examination has never eased. Why is that? Why can these young people, who are regarded as "stupid" by the outside world, still get high scores and enter prestigious schools? Obviously, they are not stupid.
In my opinion, today's schools put too much academic pressure on children and deprive them of time to play. Anxious society forces children to have the idea that they must enter a prestigious school, and many parents mistakenly believe that a prestigious school is the best university suitable for their children. But in any case, many gifted children have been admitted to prestigious schools, and Harvard's freshman class can be filled with excellent high school graduates. This phenomenon was not seen in previous generations.
Why, then, do people criticize today's young people for being shallow, doting, and arrogant? The only explanation is that they are jealous. Even in an anxious, insecure society, today's children are still creative, energetic, and kind-hearted. Overall, they are excellent. We need to start with ourselves and do our best in life to help all those who need help. Start by parenting your children, give them a happy and loving childhood, and we have the magic to change the status quo.
2. What do we get from our children?
We rarely think about the question: What do parents get out of their children? Or more broadly, what does society get out of children? What we get is what our children need for us, and all we have to do is love our children. Children bring a whole new experience to our lives, and all we can do is share the feelings of love with our children and believe in the power of love.
With or without children, we believe that children will give us a whole new life. Kids interrupt your rhythm and give you a chance to hang out; they weaken your ego and amuse you when you're not in the mood; they let you know there's something more meaningful in the world than work and sleep; they still need your help even if you're overwhelmed; they make you improvise, let you find fun in the tedious life, let you exercise, teach you new words, help you get rid of boredom; sometimes they make fun of you and give you insight into the meaning of life.
We also need our children to ask questions that we can't answer. Take a look at this interesting conversation between dad and daughter. "Dad, why is the sky blue?" "Baby, I don't know." "Dad, how did the light come about?" "Baby, I'm not sure either." "Dad, why can't I remember everything I learned in school?" "I don't know." "Dad, wouldn't you be happy if I asked you so many questions?" "Of course not, baby," replied Dad, "I'm glad you asked me questions, otherwise how could you have learned?" "We need the respect of our children, we need the dependence of our children, and we also need our children to give us a reason to work harder."
I can say without hesitation that I know how to educate my children better than my parents. It's not that I'm better than them, it's because our generation understands the needs of our children better and values the responsibilities of parenthood. Traditional educational philosophies remain: demanding demands, corporal punishment, humiliation, commanding, coddling, but only to a lesser extent, as more and more parents feel that parenthood is the most important duty in life. Over the past 50 years, we have learned a lot about brain science, learning disabilities, childhood anxiety and depression, children's medicine, and new approaches to education. As long as we use this knowledge to understand the needs of our children, we can become better parents and our children will live healthier lives.
I believe that the root of a happy life lies in a "connected childhood." This is undoubtedly good news for parents, because giving a child a connected childhood is entirely within the reach of the parents, and it is not something that money can buy. There are also schools, coaches, doctors, communities, neighbors and all other people who care about the growth of children can create a connected childhood for children. However, a connected childhood is only the starting point for happiness, and I will go into detail the entire process and steps of creating a happy life.
Over the years, experts have either ignored or emphasized the importance of childhood too much. They place too much emphasis on instructing parents on what to do, while ignoring whether parents are doing the right thing and whether they are enabling their children to reach a state of satisfaction, creativity and pleasure. Is there any good news? Children themselves are good news for us. Children are the best news of our lives.
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