Wen | snow fell without dust
Marriage carries social morality, responsibility and obligation. As an adult, it is our responsibility and obligation to run our own family well and make them feel safe and happy. Sociologists have shown that instead of putting the vision of a good marriage into the next marriage, it is better to run the current marriage.
Because, divorce is inevitable in the following four outcomes:
One is that it is worse than the previous marriage, and the two people torture each other; the second is that they still run to each other; the third is to live together, there is no dispute and no love; the fourth is to meet people who love each other again, but the probability accounts for less than 10%.
In life, everyone will encounter a situation of work pressure, loneliness, and family disharmony. At such a fragile moment, emotionally, you often can't control yourself, and even do something that destroys the feelings of husband and wife and destroys the family.
Emotional experts once said: "In the heart of every woman, there is a young girl who hopes to be pampered by Prince Charming; in the heart of every man, there lives a boy, hoping that someone will worship and admire." ”
Therefore, dissatisfaction with one's own life seems to have become the norm.
Thus, the "Chicconi effect" in psychology will be reflected. It means that people tend to have an unwilling state of mind about things that are not completed, and it will run through the person's heart.
Just as Chen Yixun sang in the song: "What is not obtained is always in turmoil." ”
At first, it may simply test each other's love and want to have the "beauty of love", but in the end it becomes ambiguous, which will naturally affect the family.
The cuts are constant, and the rationale is chaotic. A momentary impulse brings results that you cannot bear, and you regret not being the beginning.
When people reach middle age, their lives are uneventful, but please cherish this happy life of "plain and simple is true".
For their own sake, but also for the happiness of their families, after middle age, even if they can see each other, they will not see each other, so as not to cause trouble.
01
First: First love, do not have to see each other again
The first love is the person who spends romantic time with you at the most beautiful age.
Society is too complex to be innocent anymore. You may miss the good times in those innocent years and never forget your first love.
There is a love story with a bad ending.
After the male protagonist graduated from college, his work did not go well. In the darkest moments of his life, a woman who liked him very much gave him help, and the two got married.
The heroine's career went smoothly, but after middle age, she was betrayed by her husband and divorced.
At this time, the heroine, who feels lonely, remembers the deep love of her former first love for her, and a little hope rises in her heart. She felt that the man must have hers in his heart.
Unsurprisingly, the male protagonist really missed her in his heart and seemed to be about to renew the frontier.
But at this time, the man's wife is extremely sensitive, she has no self-confidence, and she is very afraid of the love enemy. She hysterically looked for trouble for the heroine, and made the chicken dog restless.
Preventing problems before they happen is the law of our dealings, and the same is true in marriage.
Because there are too many lessons, placed in the textbooks of life, we have to launch a "war" to defend marriage.
In the show "Human World", there is a 54-year-old woman who is unhappy in her married life and tries to find her first love.
But the other party already has her own home and does not want to see her again, and she is grief-stricken to find the column group.
The host advised her: "First love, people have a home, don't see each other again." ”
In fact, it is such a truth, for the harmony of the family, in order not to find trouble for yourself, "first love" is only suitable for putting in the heart, as a good memory, do not have to see each other again.
02
Second: People who have had intentions in the past but have not received them, never to be seen again
The "unfinished feelings" in psychology mean that things that have not been completed, not done well, and suddenly interrupted, that is, things that "cannot be thought of", will have a particularly deep memory and regret.
If we do not exercise restraint with reason, it is tantamount to "a moth to a fire" and set fire to the fire.
A certain leader is now in his old age, but the story about him is still the "negative teaching material" that people call.
He was born in the countryside and worked as a private teacher in high school. He liked his female classmate Xiaojuan, but Xiaojuan rejected him.
Years later, he became the leader of a certain unit and saw that the goddess he had chased in the past was still farming in the countryside.
With a sense of superiority, he felt that his opportunity to show off had come. He took advantage of his position to help Xiaojuan arrange work. In return for the peach, Xiao Juan began an unclear relationship with him.
Later, Xiaojuan's husband divorced her. She was no longer satisfied with this unsatisfactory life, so she began to clamor for him to divorce and marry herself.
Naturally, his wife did not want to be perfected, and when she did not get it, she destroyed it, and reported her husband's wrongdoing to the government agencies. In the end, he ended up with a "late festival is not guaranteed".
Some of the "red lines" of life must not be touched.
In the face of life's "fate and no points", we must have a clear mind, keep a distance, and retain the good.
When my girlfriend went to college, there was a male classmate who liked her very much. The people of that era, unlike the young people of today, were not as brave to face it, and the two were not together.
After graduation, her girlfriend worked in the township, and it was difficult to find a person around her who was equal to her thoughts. At this time, she often wanted to look for the male classmate, but at that time, communication was difficult, telephone was not yet popular, and it was impossible to contact.
In desperation, she hurriedly married a man who pursued her and started a family, and lived a chicken feather after marriage.
16 years later, the male classmate came to her city on a business trip and specifically found her. She knew that in fact, in those years, he was also looking for her.
It was just that the conditions at that time were too limited, and after he found out her number, he called her but changed the number. In those years, they were all experiencing the turmoil of life.
Classmates showed her the five numbers she had used stored on his mobile phone, and her heart ached.
Originally, they could meet the right person at the right time.
How she wished, at this time, he was still single or single after divorce, and they could try to start over.
However, the students just had their own home. She pretended to eat and chat very stylishly, and no longer had any regrets.
Because she knows that what is missed is missed after all, and she cannot destroy the happiness of another woman. Perhaps, it is also to destroy a cherished, beautiful feeling in the heart.
There is a kind of love called "If you are happy, I can let go of blessings."
Therefore, people who have been unable to think, if they lose the opportunity they deserve, they can leave some distance, so that the beauty generated by distance will always remain in the softest place in the heart.
03
Third: People who fall in love outside of marriage, goodbye is a mistake again and again
Lover, Ben is a very beautiful word. A kind of lovesickness, two idleness, this feeling can not be eliminated, only to frown, but on the heart.
Lovers should be two people who appreciate each other, trust each other, and can't help but hug each other.
But in today's society, it involves too much selfishness and interests. Either want to own or want to profit. It is no longer "affection", just a fig leaf for improper relationships.
Before the Internet, it was exposed that a leader was reported by an extramarital lover. The leader developed a college student into an extramarital lover and used his position to partner with the other party to open a company.
As a result, the business lost, and the leader's wife reported the woman. In order to clear herself, the woman reported the leader.
The ending is self-evident, and it can be seen that this "love" word has already become unrecognizable.
Although this is an official matter, it also reflects the dark side of the relationship between men and women in real society.
Whether in film and television works or in real life, there are many examples of extramarital lovers. But they all have one thing in common, often ruining quiet and happy lives and paying a terrible price.
This relationship, which either binds interests or involves interests, shows that "affection" is not true, and it will become a sword of Damocles hanging in the air.
Many times, people's feelings are not controlled. There will always be some shining opposite sex in front of you, making you feel excited, and even can't help but fall in love.
But for those who have families, we should control this emotion. Even if there is a heartbeat, it must be silently placed in the heart, and it cannot be developed into a relationship outside the marriage that is both immoral and will hurt the family.
If you've taken the first step, realized your mistake, and taken the initiative to end it, then learn to turn it around. The person who falls in love outside of marriage must let him become the past and not see each other again, so as not to add to the mistakes.
Goethe said, "No one is a king, but a commoner, and as long as there is peace in his home, he is the happiest." ”
Therefore, when people reach middle age, there are three kinds of people who can't be seen, and you can't afford to pay the price of impulse.
May we, who are middle-aged, experience the disturbing worldly situations, worldly affairs, and entanglements and noises of the world, be able to get away from those who will bring you trouble and have the warmest place to go.