01
When it comes to extramarital feelings, some people feel that extramarital feelings are not true at all, and many people's original intention of talking about extramarital feelings is not simple, and they have not taken this feeling seriously at all, so it is impossible for extramarital feelings to be as sincere as normal male and female feelings.
But there are also people who think that extramarital feelings are true love, and some people talk about extramarital feelings, that is, because married life is too depressing, so that people can't feel love at all, so they will find true love through extramarital feelings. Therefore, the extramarital feelings of such people must be true love.
Neither of us can prove which of these two statements is correct. Everyone has their own point of view, but no matter which point of view they support, when a person falls into an extramarital relationship, there is a truth to be understood.
No matter how good the extramarital relationship is, it can't withstand the "test" of two things, so let it go if you recognize it.
02
First thing: vital interests.
Many times, extramarital relationships will seem particularly beautiful because there is no interference from any factor. Some people, especially those who will have no sense in the face of love, will feel that his extramarital love is true love, he will think that his extramarital love affair can stand the test, and his extramarital lover is even more reliable than his other half.
But is that really the case? When an extramarital relationship affects the vital interests of one party, is the extramarital relationship really trustworthy and reliable?
Let's talk about a real-life example.
Wang Qiang (pseudonym) people to middle age, life without passion, he feels that living is really boring, so he and his long-time friend Li Qian (pseudonym) talked about extramarital love, Li Qian is warm, generous, has always been very considerate to him.
He felt that Li Qian was sincere with himself, otherwise he wouldn't be so good to him. In this way, the two people avoided the crowd every day to talk about love, and every day was very happy, so that he forgot his wife at home.
When the relationship between the two people became stronger, he planned to divorce and marry Li Qian, but the weather was unpredictable, he became immobile because of a sudden cerebral hemorrhage, and the original high-paying job was gone.
When he was lying in the hospital, when he was recovering, Li Qian did not come to see him. When he recovered and found her, she actually asked him not to come to her again. She said his current physical condition and financial strength could not give her happiness. If she had been with him, she might have to take care of him closely after that, and she said she didn't want to live like that.
In this way, a cerebral hemorrhage completely broke up Wang Qiang's extramarital relationship.
From Wang Qiang's experience, we can understand that when an extramarital relationship harms a person's vital interests, the person will not hesitate to choose to end this extramarital relationship.
Because there is no guarantee for an extramarital relationship at all, the beginning of an extramarital relationship is immoral, and the relationship cannot be affirmed by anyone, nor can it be guaranteed at all, so when the relationship damages a person's vital interests, the person will choose to end the relationship without any psychological burden.
You know, everyone is interest-oriented, and in everyone's heart, the most important thing is always yourself. Although there is always a kind of 'love you more than love yourself' in the novel, this situation is simply rare in reality.
Although everyone hates that kind of selfish person, in fact, everyone is selfish, and some people seem to be particularly selfless, because they pursue different things, not because they are really selfless, they are actually selfish.
Therefore, when it comes to vital interests, most people will make choices that are beneficial to themselves, and the only difference between marriage and outside marriage is the question of whether there is a shackle. Because there is no shackle on the feelings outside marriage, it is said that abandonment is abandoned, and there is no need for any psychological burden at all.
But marriage is different, it is shackled, the husband and wife themselves need to be responsible for each other, and couples for many years, in the end, there are feelings, no one can say that it really does not matter, even if there is no feeling, for the sake of the child, most people can not really let go.
Therefore, in extramarital feelings, if you recognize this, let it go. Cherish the marriage and cherish what you have.
03
Second thing: time.
Extramarital feelings cannot stand the test of time, and I believe most people will agree with this.
In fact, don't talk about extramarital feelings, any feelings cannot stand the test of time. But the love of husband and wife, that is guaranteed, and there is also a responsibility on the body, it will not deteriorate so easily, nor can it be easily abandoned.
But extramarital feelings are different, extramarital feelings are ugly to say is to play hooligans, think well, want to divide, do not have to be responsible. There are only two things that can sustain extramarital feelings, money and affection.
You either have to be stronger than others and provide emotional value to others, or you will give enough money to make people inseparable from you.
But who can provide emotional value or money to another person for a lifetime?
With the passage of time, the feelings of extramarital feelings without any guarantees will definitely gradually disappear, so it is impossible to rely on feelings to maintain extramarital feelings, if you want to rely on money to maintain, in fact, it is also possible, but can you guarantee that you can willingly continue to pay money for a lifetime?
You will be willing to pay money, that's because you want to talk to the other party about extramarital feelings, and when you don't want to, you will definitely not want to give.
Therefore, extramarital feelings simply cannot stand the test of time.
Let's take an example.
Wang Mei (pseudonym) has a first love jin feng (pseudonym), the two people met young, in the best years of acquaintance and love, but also in the best years of separation, so Wang Mei is after marriage and children, jin feng is also obsessed.
Therefore, a reunion at a class reunion rekindled their old feelings and talked about extramarital romance. At first, the two people were very sweet, and the two people had a strong sense of secrecy, and for several years, they were not discovered by anyone.
Wang Mei thought they would continue like this, she always believed in the feelings between two people, because they were first love, and first love is special to anyone.
But the pure and beautiful feelings she thought had not passed the test of time after all, and within a few years, Jin Feng felt bored, and he disappeared directly into her life.
Therefore, no matter how good the extramarital relationship is, it cannot stand the test of time, and do not pour too much affection into your extramarital relationship. Extramarital feelings are doomed to have no good outcomes.
04
On the issue of extramarital feelings, people who are too serious and too persistent are doomed to be hurt. Extramarital feelings themselves are a kind of feeling without any guarantees, this feeling cannot withstand the test, when the extramarital relationship damages a person's vital interests, then the person will absolutely choose to end the extramarital relationship for the first time.
Moreover, extramarital relationships cannot stand the test of time. Ordinary romantic relationships, marriage relationships may not be able to withstand the test of time, let alone extramarital romance.
In a marriage, if you encounter such a test, there is always something that will make you pass such a test and maintain the marriage. It may be a child, it may be a responsibility, it may be the pressure of the people around you, there will always be something that can make you pass the test and keep the marriage.
But extramarital relationships are different, and when extramarital lovers encounter such a test, they will instinctively choose the option that is most beneficial to them. In this way, the final result will only be to end the extramarital relationship.
Therefore, if you insist on talking about extramarital love, then you must be prepared to be abandoned, of course, you may also become the party who actively chooses to abandon.
For such an extramarital relationship that cannot stand the test at all, there is no need for everyone to pay too much. And, after recognizing all this, it is best for everyone to be decisive to let go.
A person's final destination can only be family, extramarital love can not become your final destination, it can not give you a sense of security, there is no way to shield you from the wind and rain, and there is no way to accompany you for a lifetime.
Text/Fenghua