After the last post was published, there were a lot of friends who left me heartfelt comments. So, I spent a few hours this morning replying to everyone's comments one by one.
Among the friends who left messages, there were those who succeeded in educating their children, and there were also those who failed like me.
Therefore, I carefully read the messages of each netizen and got some inspiration and experience. I gradually understood what was wrong with me. I hope that what I have summarized will have some inspiration for young parents in educating their children.
As the old saying goes, "3 years old looks small, 10 years old looks old". Now that I think about it, it makes so much sense.
Let me explain why, first of all, where we failed. It is also the place where our husband and wife have the greatest differences and quarrels because of the problem of children.
I used to be busy at work, and my parents at home couldn't count on it. Therefore, from the birth of the child to the fourth grade of primary school, almost always my daughter-in-law carried it alone. It can be said that my daughter-in-law has suffered a lot of sins over the years. I used to be too busy at work, and the burden of taking care of the family was on her alone, taking care of the food and living of our father and son, which can be said to be taken care of meticulously.
The last thing she wants to hear now is that I say she "takes too good care of her children", and every time she hears this, she has to rush with me.
Let's start with the study life from the first year of primary school to the fourth grade.
Let's talk about the mistakes of learning.
I think back to when I first grade began to enroll, like many parents, I was really nervous, looking at such a small head, slowly walking into the campus for the first time, my heart was really excited.
From this day on, it is early pick-up, late delivery. To say that today's children are really happy, every day the car is delivered, and there is very little walking.
The things learned in the first grade are also simple, recognizing words, recognizing numbers, and simple addition and subtraction. At that time, we will seriously explain it. Children can also keep up with the pace of learning.
The second grade begins to learn multiplication techniques. I deliberately made him a mobile game, and it took him less than 2 hours to learn, multiplication. He was one of the first in their class to learn. When he was praised by the teacher, he was very happy at the time.
In the third and fourth grades, the content that began to be learned began to deepen, and every time I did homework, I began to procrastinate. Every time I saw him doing a problem, we patiently explained it to him at the beginning. Later, after a long time, sometimes encountered more complex problems, I directly told him how to answer. Over time, it became clear that there were more and more problems that he would not have.
At that time, I thought that the child might be small and the teacher's teaching method was problematic. Therefore, our husband and wife began to read books, and then explained the knowledge points to him, and we did not know whether he listened to it or not, but we were too tired to do it. At that time, we were also thinking that we were only in elementary school now, and there was still a lot of time, so we didn't care too much. Now that I think about it, maybe then his thinking will begin to change. He appeared when he was doing the problem, did not like to think, and began to rely on us to help him do it. At this time, the initiative to learn is already lacking.
Let's talk about the faults of life.
We just took care of it too thoughtfully, from the first year to the fourth grade, basically clothes to reach out, food to open the mouth. Not to mention helping parents pick up dishes and cook, wash clothes and socks. It is no exaggeration to say that his face sometimes does not have to be washed by himself. Every day, he walked in front of the school bag, and my daughter-in-law helped him carry the school bag in the back. Sometimes I had to carry him upstairs. Later, I advised my daughter-in-law that he should suffer a little. My daughter-in-law always said that he was too young to hold it. I quarreled a few times, and I couldn't help it. Occasionally I went to pick him up, and he knew that he was carrying a school bag, and I was walking in the front, and he was carrying a school bag in the back.
Here is a quote from a language text, "Therefore the heavens will descend upon the Scythians, and they will first suffer their hearts, strain their bones, starve their bodies, empty their bodies, and mess up their deeds." ”
The classic sentences left by the ancients are very reasonable, see what we all do.
For today's children, all they have to suffer is learning and life. The suffering of learning is to cultivate the exercise process of loving learning, loving learning, and loving specialization. The suffering of life is that he can support himself and take care of his own diet and living exercise process.
The child's learning is painful, the book that should be read, we help to read. I thought it was all passed on to them, but I forgot that the process of reading books is itself a process of exercising and learning, and it is also a process of making him fall in love with learning.
The suffering of the child's life, we helped him suffer, but he lacked the process of "from the cocoon to the butterfly", only after experiencing the pain, he knew that many things are not easy to come by.
Therefore, we have harmed the children and raised them into lazy, brainless children who cannot persist in doing things.
Finally, a netizen's comment was quoted: "You all broke open and kneaded to feed the stream food, how can you expect him to catch the eagle with his bare hands and roast it?" ”
Here, to express to my son, I am deeply sorry. Sorry, son! Mom and Dad shouldn't take away the suffering that should have belonged to you.