With the dust settling on the two-child and three-child policies, there are more and more families with many children around.
As a member of the second-child family, to say a whisper hidden in the bottom of my heart, when I bravely fought for the second child, in addition to hoping to leave a blood-linked relative to Dabao, so that they would support each other when they became adults, they also had a little selfish extravagance - I hope that when I am old, I will get the kindness of my children and rely on my old age.
However, in real life, although the support of children for the elderly has been included in the legal obligation, there is still a lot of negative news involved in the issue of filial piety to the elderly, especially in families with many children, the phenomenon of children shirking responsibility to each other abounds.
It is said that in families with many children, the birth order of brothers and sisters has hidden the "filial piety value" of children, do you believe it?
A second-child family, the eldest is more filial than the second-born family?
Before there was no second eldest, the status of the eldest in the eyes of his parents was "supreme". After all, the birth of the eldest is of great significance to parents - the first child in life, even if the parenting experience will be lacking, but the nature of parenting, let them give the elder care will not be less.
There is even a popular saying in the parenting circle that "the eldest is raised according to the book, and the second is raised as a pig".
In fact, in terms of eating and drinking Lasa's parenting experience, because of the experience of the boss, in terms of raising the second child, most of the parents of the second-child family have been handy.
But the birth of the second eldest still gave the eldest a "sense of survival crisis".
How can this statement be explained? To make a very simple analogy, before there is no second elder, the boss is the core of the parents, delicious, delicious, the boss basically has "exclusive rights" in front of the parents. But after the second is born, the parents' attention will quietly begin to shift, delicious, delicious of course to give half to the second, and even, there are parents will be on the grounds that the second is young and needs special care, asking the boss to "melt the pear".
From the perspective of age, when the second brother is still in infancy, the boss has begun to have basic self-care ability, so parents will subconsciously share the responsibility of taking care of the second brother to the boss. For example, ask the boss to start learning to do the housework within his ability, such as asking the boss to take care of the second brother when he goes out to play.
This kind of role change, the boss may be rejected at first, feel jealous, resentful, but time is a good medicine, the boss's dissatisfaction is slowly smoothed out by time, they will gradually adapt to the new role, accept that they are no longer the only child of their parents, and begin to take the initiative to pick up the burden of the boss.
Therefore, in the two-child family, the eldest usually plays the role of caring for the person, while the second child mostly plays the role of being taken care of, and the two children have a clear division of labor, which will also have a deep impact on their growth process.
Years of living habits, will make the boss more responsible, adults most of them are the backbone of the family, with strong leadership and command skills. Taking care of parents and helping brothers and sisters are habitually picked up by them, even if the younger brothers and sisters have the heart to intervene and help, the boss may bear it.
This is why in most second-child families, the eldest is often more filial than the second-born family.
For families with many children, who is the most filial piety in the rankings?
I don't know if you have heard of "the emperor loves the eldest son, and the people love the children."
Because of his old age, the boss is more appealing among siblings. And the old and young are generally the "group pets" of the family, fighting for their young age, their parents are in pain, their brothers and sisters are also humble, many things have brothers and sisters out of the head, they are habitually dependent on others, and there is not much family responsibility on the shoulders of the old and young.
Children sandwiched between the old and the old often become "sandwich cookies". On the age advantage, there is no way to compare with the boss, the boss has spoken, and the second brother has no gold content, so just obediently shut up. If you want to fight for your young age and sell well in front of your parents, isn't it more advantageous to be young and old? Therefore, children who can't get to the shore are easily ignored by their parents, in order to "survive in the cracks", they usually try their best to please their parents, understand things, obey, rarely rebel against their parents, everything is done according to what their parents say.
unbelief? Look at the familiar people around you, is it the one who has been neglected since childhood, and has spent his whole life looking for opportunities to win the approval of his parents? Therefore, after growing up, most of the children born in the middle will desperately honor their parents, hoping to prove their ability to their parents, and their filial piety value is stronger than that of the boss born first, and the old and young who are born later.
Of course, the content shared in this article is also a matter of high probability.
There is no shortage of families with many children in life, the children are all filial piety, ranking in no particular order, and the parents are happy in their later years. Similarly, there are some two-child families, and the second child is more diligent than the eldest in filial piety to the parents.
Therefore, filial piety or not, in addition to the relationship between birth order, is inseparable from the growth environment of children and the teaching of parents. Since ancient times, there is a saying that "filial piety comes first", if parents want to get the kindness of their children in their later years, then they must sow a seed of kindness when their children are young, so that they know how to be grateful and learn to be grateful. And to set a positive example in front of your children, be kind to your parents, the influence of daily words and deeds on your children is huge, only if you treat your elders well, you can get good karma and feedback.
Do you agree with the question of the child's birth order determining the filial piety value? I think it makes sense!