01
I like the advice: "Honey, there's no one else out there, only yourself." ”
We are used to separating ourselves from the "outside", always thinking that the outside world affects our lives. For example, in the workplace, the position is too low, resulting in too good income, tight days; husband and wife quarrel because of lack of money.
In fact, whether the life is good or not is not the day itself, but your relationship with the world, whether it is handled well or not.
The world is good, but what is bad is our "three views." If you don't adjust in time, there will be mental internal friction.
At any age, we must be self-reliant. The key step in a happy life is to get out of the "self".
When you are fifty years old, according to the actual situation, you should stop the following internal friction and spend your energy on what is worthwhile.
02
First, stop living in the eyes of others and learn to live as yourself.
I saw a joke: the grandchildren rode a donkey to the market.
Passers-by said that the donkey was so small that there were actually two people riding it. So Grandpa came down.
Passers-by also said that the grandson did not understand things, and actually rode a donkey himself and let the grandfather walk. So, the grandson came down, and the grandfather rode a donkey.
Passers-by also said that the grandson is so young, how can he walk?
The grandchildren were overwhelmed.
The more you care about other people's words and eyes, the more you will be tied up by others, and even live as someone else. Know that if you dwell with others for too long, you will be assimilated little by little.
There is no one in the world who has the same three views. Others can say that you can also make suggestions, you need to listen, but you must carefully distinguish, "threesomes, there will be my teacher, choose the good and follow it."
If you know what you want to do, then stick to it, and you will naturally be happy.
As the saying goes, "Fifty know the destiny." ”
You have seen the fate clearly, and you are always fighting with others. No one else will change your destiny. Smart people will give up a lot of circles in the second half of their lives, such as useless circles of friends and circles of the workplace. The circle is smaller, the vision is less, and it is much easier for you to live as yourself.
03
Second, stop being oversensitive and learn to be confused.
In the unit, I often hear such a discussion: "Some people have been promoted and raised, some people have been rewarded, some people have had drinks with their superiors..."
You may not want to participate, but you listen with your ears open and feel bad inside. Because you're not promoted, you're earning too little, and your boss doesn't like you very much.
In society, you will encounter a lot of things that you are not accustomed to, and you will also meet villains. You like to talk about it a lot, and it seems that you can't say a few words, and you can't express "evil like a vendetta."
Zheng Banqiao said: "It is rare to be confused. ”
At fifty, you should be a "knowing" person, but you don't say it. Because many things need to develop naturally, many people will mature after planting their heads.
Some sensitive topics will make others uncomfortable; some sensitive content will involve rumors; a sensitive heart is easy to hurt. Being confused means that you have looked down on everything, and you can quietly get retired and become a free person.
04
Third, stop demanding perfection and learn to accept the imperfections of the family.
"Because love, simple growth, can still be crazy for you at any time..." The song is very beautiful, the lyrics are very romantic, and we have been pursuing such love.
Unfortunately, throughout our lives, we can only hold hands with one person, and we can only give our hearts to those who live together day and night. Don't be fooled by romantic illusions.
And your children, who are also in their teens and twenties, or have been married and started a family. You will find that their lives are not as glorious as they think. When your children go to school, you go to great lengths to get them to good middle schools and colleges. Invest a lot of money.
When your children start a family, you help them buy a house and bring their grandchildren. But the children did not feed back, and you are really disappointed.
Your own life has not met expectations. For example, when you were a kid you wanted to be a navigator, but then you never even went to the sea.
At the age of fifty, I found that there was too much dissatisfaction. In fact, if you think about it, a cup with a gap, from the east side, the gap is very large, and from the west side, the gap is gone.
The family, the family will not be perfect, then we adjust the angle and make the mood perfect. The mood is good, everything is right, and everything is fragrant.
05
Fourth, stop hesitating and procrastinating, and learn to pursue poetry and distant places immediately.
I always hear such a consolation: Don't worry, come to Japan for a long time.
But when you reach the age of fifty, you will find that many elders have passed away and will never be seen again.
You want to visit the elders, but don't have time. Later, you didn't even see the last side of the elders. Just in the relative group, I saw the corresponding message.
There are also many friends who always say "get together another day", but have not acted. When friends go to distant cities, they find that the friendship has weakened, and they can't even get in touch.
You want to see the scenery, but you have to wait for retirement. Because of the busy work, I also have to manage the housekeeper.
In fact, to learn to "sneak around", don't always wait, don't look at it. The man he dreamed of last night went to see him early this morning; it was not impossible to travel a few times and leave.
No one knows, tomorrow and accidents, which one comes first. Every time we meet, we are a little affectionate; every trip, we must be a little more timely; every meal, we must have a little more fireworks.
A lifetime is only 30,000 days, a day is only 24 hours, and as soon as you hesitate, it passes. People, however, grow old rapidly; life, a chicken feather. For the rest of your life, you have to turn time into poetry.
06
Of course, at the age of fifty, there is still a lot of internal friction, which needs to be understood and changed by yourself. For example, the dream of getting rich is to think wildly; unable to let go of the past, the heart is very troubled; there are negative emotions, destroying the body; arguing with others, but it is yourself who is hurt...
Carnegie wrote in The Weakness of Human Nature: "The most important thing is not whether others love us, but whether we are worthy of being loved." ”
We spend our whole lives "struggling" with ourselves. Your reaction to the outside world is most likely your subjective judgment.
When you see through everything, then go with the flow, and in this way, you can really let yourself go.
The first half of life is used to fight for life, and the second half is used to save life.
May you and I live our lives without being spoiled.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.