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Get up early to brush up on the "9 suggestions for stopping internal friction" given by the People's Daily, want to interpret the next share with everyone, I hope that everyone can stop internal friction in time and live as they like.
Those 9 suggestions correspond to 9 common mental internal friction, and we will take a look at them one by one.
overrate
Judging from the results, overestimating is an over-expectation, thinking too perfectly about the results, creating too much hope for yourself, and ultimately in exchange for disappointment.
For example, you overestimate the rewards that a job can bring you, overestimate the expectations of the leader for you, and you are full of enthusiasm to meet the upcoming good things, only to find that you expect ten percent, and only get thirty percent, this psychological gap will make you feel frustrated and will make you feel disappointed.
Another example is a relationship, you have high hopes, think that it will definitely get better and better, think that you will be the happiest person in the world, only to find that your expectations can not be realized for a long time, or completely do not meet your expectations, you will also be disappointed.
When we do not understand the disadvantages of overestimation, we cannot prevent it from happening, and we can only learn lessons after it has happened; but when we have had the relevant experience, we should stop this mental attrition.
Whether you have expectations for a person or an expectation for one thing, remember to start from reality, don't expect too much, and prepare for the worst, and then try to concentrate on what you should do, so that you can calmly cope with various endings.
Let calmness become a habit, stop the cycle of "the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment", and life will be easy.
procrastinate
Everyone has the psychology of procrastination, but some people can overcome this mentality, and some people let it run rampant.
It is not a bad thing to have some proper procrastination in life, because life cannot be tightly wound all the time, otherwise there is no chance to breathe for a moment, and you will live very tired.
If the procrastination is too serious, do anything to delay, there should be no sense of urgency, the things that should be completed in time have been delayed, this is a problem, over time, when procrastination becomes a habit, it is difficult to quit.
A person who procrastinates too much is often neglectful of managing himself, or indulging himself. After this matter was delayed, it did not cause serious consequences, and it was thought that it was okay to delay, and as a result, more and more things were delayed; that matter was delayed for a day or two without serious consequences, and it was thought that it would be okay to delay for a long time.
Taking advantage of the fact that procrastination has not yet become a habit, we must first know how to adjust our mentality, straighten out our thinking, it is best to make a "priority" distinction for what we need to face, but we do not have to be too detailed, we only need to list the things that can be properly delayed, and other things do not allow ourselves to delay, so that good habits will not be wrong.
negative
Negativity is both a state of mind and an emotion, the opposite of positivity.
Negative people tend to think too hard, think too much, be too pessimistic, and are used to thinking in a bad direction. Although this can alleviate the "overestimation" mentioned earlier to some extent, it is easy for a person to lose expectations of life, dare not expect, and worry that hope will be exchanged for disappointment.
If we continue to allow this kind of mental internal friction to play out, it is easy for us to stop moving forward, because we dare not do anything, we are afraid of the head and tail, and we are afraid of the wolf and the tiger.
But the problem is that life needs to have something to do, and there are many things to do, and if you don't do it because of negativity, chance and good luck may never favor you.
There is a saying that the girl who loves to laugh, the luck will not be too bad. Of course, the "love to laugh" here does not mean heartbreaking laughter, but positive and optimistic, so that not only can you feel at ease, but also the mental outlook presented is benign, so that it is possible to be favored by opportunity and good luck.
Comparisons
Some people say that comparison is a kind of nature, and I am more inclined to think that comparison is an acquired psychology. If a person grows up living in an environment without comparison, there will be no concept of comparison.
The reason why people have a sense of comparison is often the result of hearing about it in the process of growing up. For example, parents in life intentionally or unintentionally compare with others, often take other people's children to say things, friends and classmates around them are also compared in life, if there is no concept of constraint, the comparison will take root in the heart.
When the psychology is immature, people often do not realize the disadvantages of comparison, but will feel very normal, or inappropriate. Only because when the comparison has suffered losses and realizes that blind comparison is not beneficial, will people consciously restrict their own psychology.
Fundamentally, comparing oneself is equivalent to denying oneself, thinking that one is inferior to others, and thinking that other people's lives are good. This is obviously not good for your own growth, because you are always staring at others, always using others as references, not focusing on your own growth, even if you look like others through imitation, you are only a shadow of others after all.
Since there is no benefit, it is better to lose the comparison heart from now on, don't judge yourself by other people's standards, don't easily define yourself with good or bad, you are you, it is normal to be different from others, and it is enough to focus on your own growth for the rest of your life.
demanding
There are often two forms of demanding, one is to be harsh on oneself, and the other is to be harsh on others.
People who are harsh on themselves are not the same as people who are demanding of themselves. The latter is to set a goal and move towards the goal with ease; the former is like having obsessive-compulsive disorder, pursuing perfection, not allowing any omissions, and even not eating, drinking or sleeping.
So demanding of yourself, often want to be fast, but not to achieve, because you are harsh on your own state of doing things, is a state of closed yourself, even if you have some achievements, it will not be worth the loss; and if you do not exchange for results, it will be painful.
People who are harsh on others cannot bring good feelings to others. Parents are harsh on their children, children will still be bored, not to mention the relationship outside the family relationship, you break the rhythm of other people's lives, others will only feel "why do you do this to me", and do not sleep to thank you, in the end ruined each other's relationship, consuming your own spirit.
Whether it is for yourself or for others, the requirements should not be less, but we must grasp the degree of good, and we must be relaxed when we should be relaxed, otherwise the more you pursue something, the more you may not get anything.
Limits
Self-limitation is a manifestation of lack of self-confidence, but also a manifestation of refusal to grow.
The most common words on the lips of such people are "I can't do it", "I can't do it well", "forget it", and the thoughts in their hearts are even more negative than these.
If you are faced with something that can be done or not, avoidance may not hinder you; but if you are facing something that is closely related to your life, and you run away because of self-limitations, it will certainly be bad for yourself.
People who set limits themselves are not ignorant of these truths, but they still set limits themselves after they want to understand, so they form internal friction: they want to try when things do not come, they shrink back when they are about to end, they shrink back and regret, and so on, always in the same place.
If you want to break this vicious circle, you need to stop setting limits on yourself, have the courage to make new attempts, don't be afraid of failing to try, fail to see where your shortcomings are, and make up for the shortcomings to have more room for development.
depend
When it comes to dependence, it is easy to think of "external dependence on others", such as children relying on parents, women relying on men, employees relying on companies, and so on.
In life, it is good to have a dependency, but don't ignore the question of time: how long can you rely on each other? Or how long can the other person make you dependent? What if one day your dependencies disappear?
It is conceivable that a person who has been dependent on others for a long time, the ability mentality and many other things will degenerate, and even cannot live independently. When dependence disappears, it is difficult for such a person to do everything by himself, and life will be difficult at that time.
Based on this consideration, we can continue to rely on people who are trustworthy, but at the same time, we must not forget to run ourselves, so that we can have double happiness when there is dependence, and we can be comfortable when there is no dependence.
There is also a dependency that is easy to overlook, which is a person's wrong dependence on himself. This kind of dependence is an escape, but also a kind of procrastination, such as lying to yourself that you still have money in your hand and can not work for a while; blindly believing that as long as you talk about it when the time comes, you will not starve to death.
This is not really relying on the mentality that you should have, after sitting on the mountain and eating the sky, you will only make your life tight and unable to show a good mental state.
The two kinds of dependence mentioned above should be vigilant and understand: people who really rely on themselves should be "input and output coexist", whether it is the improvement of the ideological realm, or the work to make money, there should be a state of circulation upwards, and let themselves accumulate, so that they can live without panic.
regret
Although these two words are common, few people seriously think about the meaning of these two words.
The so-called regret is only for the past, only for what has happened. If you make a mistake in the past, mess up, and are inconsistent with the results you want, you will regret it.
This seems to be a kind of human normal feeling, but in fact: regret when things first happen, it belongs to people's normal feelings; if things have passed, they have already regretted it, and then they regret it repeatedly, they never forget it, they make a mess of the current life, and they are full of fear of future things, which becomes mental internal friction, and it is impossible to live better and better.
Always remember: what has happened cannot be changed, even if a simple thing is messed up, regret will not make you start over, you can only accept the facts. Only by accepting the facts can we learn lessons, and can we focus on the present and look to the future.
Wasted
The so-called waste of time is to waste time on meaningless things, waste a lot of time and days, or just fantasize about a good life, or always self-paralyzed, tomorrow and tomorrow.
In a busy life, the appropriate waste is rest, which can play a relaxing effect; but it has been wasting time, knowing that time is limited, but it is not enough to spend limited time on worthwhile things, the quality of life cannot be improved, and there can be no breakthrough in personal growth.
When you are young, you may not see obvious disadvantages, because the differences are not too big; but at a certain age, when you are far behind others because of your lack of time, all that remains is regret.
We can't wait until we regret it to realize that it was wrong to waste time before, but we should recognize this mental internal friction in advance, stop wasting time, and do meaningful things, feeling that it is difficult to be right, because this is the only way to break through ourselves.
Mental internal friction is certainly more than the 9 situations mentioned above, there is no textbook in the world that can list all the problems, what we have to do is to start from the common problems to avoid, the rest, wait until we meet.
There is a word that everyone must be familiar with, called "seeking advantage and avoiding harm", saying that it is human instinct. But if you think about it, if we don't face obvious risks, can we still achieve profit and avoid harm?
There are obvious cliffs in front of you, and you can not jump; however, there are many invisible cliffs in life, and this is also a risk that we should avoid. If we do not pursue advantages and avoid disadvantages on such issues, the results will certainly not be too good.