How to pull out of an "impossible" relationship

01

How do you pull out of an "impossible" relationship?

I think the relationship must meet these two characteristics:

1, since it is to withdraw, it means that you have invested in feelings and fallen into it

"When the other party does not reply to the message, returns the message late, chats with other people, it will be very sensitive, jealous and uncomfortable, and involuntarily"

2, since it is "impossible", it means that the rational level is clear that this is not the ideal relationship you want

"The other party does not meet their own criteria for choosing a mate, and do not meet the stable relationship they want;

Or have met someone similar and was a victim of the relationship at the time."

Similar to want: withdrawal

When we develop some bad habits, addictive, but also harmful to the body and mind, and let us mentally feel kidnapped, manipulated, unable to extricate ourselves, we will want to "quit".

Some relationships are, you know you're out of control, and you know, it's not the emotion you want.

So you want to pull out of the relationship...

02

The first question: Why do you get caught up in a "bad" relationship?

Many people who are deeply involved in a relationship are often more rational people, who wear the armor of reason every day, hold the sword of logic, and strictly guard everyone who tries to enter his heart.

But in other words, places that often need to be guarded with such intensity just show that this inner forbidden land is weak, and once it is lost, it is a mountain of defeat!

Strong women are a typical, outside are iron ladies, encounter emotional problems, one is more fragile than one, and the men encountered are more than one scum.

Getting into a relationship also shows that there are certain qualities that the other person is showing that you are very eager for in your heart.

There was a trainee who fell in love with a barmaid, the brother's family was relatively wealthy, and his parents disciplined him strictly, in other words, so far, he did not have a life of his own.

Growing up, he did not have the right to decide his own life, his family decided everything about him, and now he also works in the family business, financially he is free, but his spirit is like being locked in every inch.

When he meets the wine girl, the unfettered, debauched attitude of life released by the wine girl activates all his desire for freedom, and he only needs to get close to her, and the free soul will tremble.

- "If it is for freedom, everything can be thrown away"

Why do scumbags attract good girls?

The "bad factor" in the scumbag is exactly the part that the good girl has suppressed and longed for for many years, and when there is a certain desire, but there is no ability to achieve it, this desire will often be pinned on another person.

And, this will become a reason to be obsessed with ta, such as fans obsessed with a certain blogger, they will say: "ta lived out the way I wanted," "lived out the highest state of XX." ”

When a trait in the other person is your ultimate desire, you will magnify her strengths and hide her shortcomings.

Isn't that what those who are demonized in love?

The other person emotionally abuses you, physically destroys you can endure, and finally, keep the sadness to yourself, her beauty she takes away....

When I woke up, I found that her strengths were just ordinary advantages, and her shortcomings were really ugly shortcomings - she was just chocolate-flavored shit!

How do you wake up?

03

Second question: How do you pull out a bad relationship?

Well, don't be delusional, it is impossible not to be in pain.

Brothers always ask me how to withdraw from the relationship without pain, and the answer is simple, you will not be painful if you do not invest in the beginning, as long as you invest in real emotions, you will be painful.

There is a saying that "pain to passion", the place where the pain is will be the place where you are enthusiastic.

The famous chicken soup also said: "The wound is the place where the light shines into the heart", and it will not be stronger without pain.

The right approach is: self-satisfaction

As mentioned earlier, what you desire is not her shortcomings, but some trait in her.

When you can't help but be infatuated with a person, it is precisely your opportunity to understand yourself, you will know your real needs, because she presents the qualities you like, which are exactly what you hope you can have.

That's simple: train the ability to "be self-satisfied."

It is nothing more than freedom, self, do not care about other people's opinions, do what you want to do, this kind of quality, to meet it yourself!

The student mentioned above, he longs for self-mastery, I live my own life, then to satisfy myself, to follow his own thoughts to be himself, as far as I know, he is fully qualified and capable of self-satisfaction, but his self-limit is too serious.

He found me, and my main thing was to help him break through his self-imposed limits!

Self-gratification allows you to get rid of the need for the satisfaction of others:

Desirelessness - then gang;

The most powerful state is: I don't desire you, I can satisfy myself;

In the case of this student, when he needs the satisfaction of others, the matter itself is no longer free, and a person who desires freedom is deeply bound by another person in order to find freedom, which sounds contrary to his original intention.

He certainly didn't want to do that, but he thought he didn't have the ability to find freedom, when in fact, he had the ability!

When you can be "self-satisfied," you can see her clearly, but that's it.

When I don't need you anymore, you're nothing.

You can look at the feelings more calmly, free from being deceived and exploited, in fact, she will do this kind of thing to you, really not a good person!