This year, the topic of "how tired is the mental internal friction" has been on Weibo at least twice.
So what is mental attrition?
Let me give you an example.
Xia Xia hates to eat sour food, but the man she has just met does not know her preferences, so she pours a lot of vinegar for Xia Xia every time she eats.
Xia Xia was more shy, and for the first time, she didn't have the good sense to tell the truth, and the more she went on, the more embarrassed she became to tell the truth.
In this way, Xia Xia always worried about this matter, but she just hesitated not to make it clear with the man. After a long time, Xia Xia was very angry at his cowardice, and felt that men were too intrusive, and actually forced themselves to do things they didn't like.
This led to Xia Xia's capricious attitude towards men, and the man also described Xia Xia as "eccentric" after a quarrel, and the two almost broke up.
In fact, eating does not like to eat sour, is a one-sentence thing, why does Xia Xia not solve the problem, but whimsical, angry with herself and her boyfriend?
Because she has fallen into mental attrition. The typical symptom of mental attrition is because of one thing, I fight in my head, I can't say what I want to say, and finally I don't do anything, but I feel tired.
According to psychological research, as long as the situation of mental internal friction occurs once, after that, it will continue to occur in your life, unless you can change your internal friction state in time.
If you can't change this state, then you can easily become a partner who is prone to internal injuries and emotional ups and downs, and you will become particularly aggressive.
So what should be done to end the mental infighting?
Learn to focus on yourself
People with relatively large nerves generally do not have internal friction, and people who are prone to internal friction are sensitive personalities and introverted people. They tend to focus too much on what other people think and ignore their own feelings.
So, the key to stopping mental attrition is to learn to focus on your own thoughts and stop angering yourself and others.
For example, you can first determine what your real thoughts are? That is, after solving which thing, I will get better?
For example, Xia Xia's problem is that she doesn't want to eat acid with men.
Then Xia Xia needs to write this matter on paper, and then fantasize about the scene after the matter has been solved: the table is full of Xia Xia's favorite dishes.
In this way, Xia Xia will have the motivation and courage to change this matter.
For example, the roommate does not like to be clean, and you have been attrition and do not say. Then you can also write about this matter, and then imagine that after you properly solve this matter, the environment will improve.
In short, remember one thing: there is nothing more decompressed than accepting yourself and being true to your feelings. Doing a good job in psychological construction is the first step to change.
Reduce procrastination
Most people who are prone to mental attrition have a common bias: lack of mobility, easy procrastination and anxiety. When things are not decided, there is internal friction.
Zhou Yijun said in the Round Table Pie:
"The antonym for anxiety is concrete. Anxiety is a very illusory emotion. You need to break through that fog, you say how to go on the specific path, when you step on that specific path, step by step, there is no such anxiety. ”
Therefore, you have to put improving your mobility on the agenda, and when you take the first step and taste the sweetness of change, internal friction gradually disappears.
After listening to my advice, Xia Xia said to the man:
"Honey, I've been secreting too much acid lately and my stomach is uncomfortable. The doctor told me to eat less sour things. Like vinegar or something. ”
Unexpectedly, the man said particularly thoughtfully: "Then we will eat less vinegar in the future." ”
In order to ease their relationship, the man also bought Xia Xia a lot of health care products to neutralize stomach acid, and he was better for Xia Xia. After Xia Xia solved the problem of internal friction, her personality was much better to get along with.