Mark Zuckerberg, who founded Facebook, said of his success:
"My success is inextricably linked to my father. Because he never forced or scolded me, but accepted my ideas. For example, when he found that I had a different passion for programming, he gave it a high degree of support. It is because of his high emotional intelligence that I can grow up in a free, happy, and loving environment. ”
It is not difficult to see whether a family can have a harmonious and loving atmosphere, whether the child can develop a good character, and the improvement of emotional intelligence and IQ are not only related to the mother, but also have a very significant and far-reaching impact on the father.
Previously, some netizens asked "how terrible is a father with low emotional intelligence", and a netizen's answer caused everyone to pay great attention and deep thinking.
He said: "My dad can be said to be the terminator of family topics, and since I was a child, I have been very disgusted that he joined my conversation with my mother, and because of him, I have become very inferior. ”
I was in the first grade of elementary school and took the first place in my class when I took the final exam for the first time. Just as he and his mother were happily discussing the celebration of adding dishes to dinner, Dad said coldly:
"Isn't it normal to get the first place in the first grade exam? Nothing to celebrate! ”
As soon as the words came out, the joyful atmosphere immediately froze.
The mother retorted: "If the son can achieve good results, he should be encouraged!" ”
And Dad made an arbitrary decision: "Our family is not very rich, every time we have a good score in the exam, we celebrate, do you pay for it?" ”
At that time, the mother, who was a housewife, was immediately dumbfounded, and netizens said: "I will always remember the sadness and embarrassment on her face when my mother heard her father ask her in a lofty tone." ”
Every time Dad would "pour cold water" at him and Mom, when he failed to get good grades, Dad said:
"How can I have such a stupid son of yours, it must have inherited your mother!"
When moms find a job, they will also be criticized:
"Hello gangster is also a college graduate, how can you work in such a small company?" What an ambition! ”
What makes netizens most sad is that under the influence of childhood, he can't help but occasionally "break cold water" on the people around him, and interpersonal communication has been negatively affected.
The English writer Hubbard said, "A good dad is better than 100 teachers." ”
Child psychologists generally believe that the maternal love given by mothers is meticulous and gentle like water, which affects the child's physical health and various habits. The father's personality and behavior can affect the child's emotional intelligence and personality.
Fathers have these three manifestations on weekdays, and it is often difficult for children's emotional intelligence to improve!
Manifestation 1: Disrespect for wives and family
According to the survey, many men who are defined by the women around them as "straight male cancer" and "scumbags" often have fathers who do not respect the women in the family, such as often abusing their wives and even domestic violence.
At the same time, he will also rule over all his family members like a "tyrant", and if there is anything undesirable, he will immediately reprimand his family regardless of the occasion.
In such an environment, it is easy for men who do not know how to respect women or others.
Performance two: irritable personality, lack of patience with people
Professor Li Meijin, a well-known psychologist, said: "If the father's personality is irritable and irritable, and he has no patience for people, then it is difficult for the child's emotional intelligence to improve." ”
It is precisely because of irritability and irritability that it is difficult to get along with others smoothly and easily conflict. This undoubtedly gives children a bad example, not only will the child also develop such a personality, unable to interact with others calmly, and also can not learn the high emotional intelligence of dealing with interpersonal relationships and things related content.
Performance three: the sense of responsibility is not strong
As the head of the family, if the father shows a weak sense of responsibility, whether it is for the family or work, it is a shirking responsibility, and when he encounters problems, he will avoid the attitude.
Such as returning home never doing housework, will not take the initiative to accompany and care for children, etc. Then the child will also become afraid to take responsibility, whether it is facing mistakes or problems, he will avoid and rely on others.
Once a child becomes a person with a weak sense of responsibility, it is extremely detrimental to his studies, life, interpersonal communication or future work. After all, no one wants to get along with someone who has no sense of responsibility, and this is one of the manifestations of low emotional intelligence!
Scientists at Yale University in the United States have found that the influence of fathers on their children's IQ and emotional intelligence will not only cover a lifetime, but also have a certain influence on whether they can succeed in their future careers after 15 years of follow-up studies.
Dad has a big influence on boys' emotional intelligence
Psychologist Daniel. Goldman has long been aimed at how to improve the emotional intelligence of the father, and then through the influence of family education to achieve the purpose of improving the child's emotional intelligence.
His theory has been supported by many education experts, and advocates that parents can make reasonable and scientific imitations according to their own personality characteristics and children's characteristics.
Scholars at the University of London in the United Kingdom have followed up 1,000 people surveyed for 30 years and found that if they can have the high-quality and high emotional intelligence training of their fathers from an early age, then the children's talents and emotional intelligence will also have a very significant improvement!
Although no family will not have contradictions, after all, everyone has their own personality, thinking and so on. But when encountering contradictions, Dad should face it calmly, communicate patiently with his family, and find a way to solve the problem.
In this process, send positive feedback to the family, demonstrate the correct attitude and way to solve the problem to the child, and take the initiative to take responsibility.
The second is to pay attention to the emotions of the family, and when you find their negative emotions, you must patiently channel them. Learn to think empathetically and empathize.
Even in the face of young children, we must know how to think from his point of view, so that he feels respected and understood.
This will not only allow children to learn to respect themselves and others, but also learn to get along with others invisibly, and their emotional intelligence can be improved.
The last thing to pay attention to is to create a warm and loving family environment.
Leo Tolstoy believed that the most precious and important thing for children is not money and resources, but that parents can create a happy environment for growing up and give a good family education.
Only by living in a loving environment from an early age can children understand how to be loved and love others, and become confident and cheerful, sunny and confident, which is also a beautiful quality commonly possessed by people with high emotional intelligence!
Pillow Parenting Message:
In order to make children a person with high emotional intelligence and intelligence, every father should take the initiative to take responsibility and set a good example!
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