Some people, when dealing with feelings, can easily enter a state of water and enjoy the comfort and ease that love brings to her.
However, some people will not be so lucky, they are always unsatisfactory in handling feelings, always very difficult, always involuntary.
The fundamental reason for such a situation lies in the level of self-exposure.
So, what is self-exposure?
In the literal sense, it is actually to expose oneself, that is, to be able to make generous requests, and not to suppress one's needs because of fear of rejection.
People with a higher level of self-exposure, strong in heart, and rarely have worries, they will do whatever they want in front of their other half to be the most authentic self, rather than hiding.
Therefore, they will not have too many worries in love, and it is easier to obtain the happiness they want in marriage with a relaxed mentality.
And this, but also tells us a truth, that is, after marriage, women should take the initiative to do three things with men, don't be embarrassed.
Take the initiative to ask for it with men, and don't feel indebted
Aristotle once discussed the relationship between man and society: "Man is a social animal. People can't live alone completely out of society, and you don't want to trouble others, so you need to take on a lot of things alone, including frustration. ”
And when the reader deals with feelings before, he has not experienced such frustrations.
Because in her opinion, many things can be solved by themselves, there is no need to trouble men, let alone take the initiative to ask for it.
However, her understanding and independence make the other half feel that in this relationship, there is him or not, after all, the reader never needs himself.
After painful thinking, the reader feels that love is a matter of two people, and the demand is not weakness, but another way to connect each other's emotions.
You are in trouble, I am troubled to go back, and the feelings are thus established, and they will not break the connection.
Moreover, when a man takes the initiative to trouble them, he will not feel that he is in a marginal state in his feelings, his sense of value and presence is satisfied, and love will naturally be extended.
Therefore, smart women never refuse to ask men for fear of indebtedness.
Take the initiative to play tricks with men, don't be embarrassed
There is a Franklin effect in psychology, which refers to the fact that in life, the best way to make others like us is not to help them, but to let them help us.
The reason is very simple, when everyone is doing a certain thing in their hearts, their fundamental purpose is to hope to realize their sense of value and existence through this thing, especially men.
They very much hope that their other half is attached to themselves, plus the nature of men is machismo, and they cannot resist the charm brought by coddling.
Therefore, in a relationship, a woman with high emotional intelligence understands how much lethality her weakness can be in a relationship.
Cai Kangyong once said in "Strange Story": "Spoiling is more like a state, that is, you have to shrink yourself and enlarge others."
Many women will feel that when they are spoiled, they are like a freak, how awkward to look at, but in fact, these are their own inner thoughts.
When we coddle a man, we will know that when a person likes another person, he will involuntarily become weak and unable to take care of himself.
At this time, we will also find that some things can achieve the effect of doubling the results with half the effort by playing a spoiled game.
Take the initiative to give men loving hugs, don't be too embarrassed
The social responsibility that men are given in this world is great - they are asked to have tears and not to flick, but not to the sad place;
They are required to stand tall against the heavens, to be proud, to be invincible, to be strong and brave.
It's just that we seem to have forgotten, and in terms of throwing away all the aura, the man is just a most ordinary person.
They also have seven passions and six desires, and they will also have times when they are powerless, and they will also be sad because of some unsatisfactory things.
Just because they don't say it doesn't mean they don't have the right to grieve.
At this time, if we can give them a simple and direct hug, then we will go into each other's hearts through a close contact.
The book The Five Languages of Love says: "Physical contact can establish or destroy a relationship, it can convey hatred or love." For people whose primary love language is physical contact, the touch of the body is far better than the words 'I hate you' or 'I love you'. ”
Data show that couples who sleep with each other before going to bed have a much better happiness index than those who sleep without hugging each other.
That's because hugging is not a thousand words, but it is more romantic than a thousand words. It can give men warmth and give them positive psychological cues, thus focusing more on managing love.